8 Ways to Trick Your Date Into Thinking You are a Masterchef

When it comes to dating, it helps to remember one simple rule: the way to a man’s, woman’s, dog’s, or any living creature’s heart is through their stomach. If you’re looking to impress a special girl or guy with your cooking skills, but don’t know the sugar of salt, we’re here to help. For all the lovebirds out there, here are ten ways to trick your date into thinking you’re a top Michelin starred chef.

1. Serve on the side

Show your date that you’re spontaneous and adventurous with this daring trick. In the world of gourmet cooking, the center of the plate is the new equivalent of the lava bottom. In other words, avoid it at all costs. For instant Michelin stars, push food to the side of the plate. Your date will be wondering where you learned such fine skills while you wonder how they didn’t realize you burned all the potatoes.

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2. Flower power

Guys, when in doubt, you can never go wrong giving flowers to a girl. For your next tryst, bypass the bouquet and present them on a plate. With a few violets here and a few rose petals there, you can turn your bland, downright messy meal into a delicate, Insta-worthy floral garden! We guarantee she’ll have you mistaken for a master chef in no time.

3. Main sprinkler

If you’ve ever had the pleasure of eating fairy bread, you may appreciate the magic of sprinkles. Now, with the recent arrival of the alluring Turkish chef “Salt Bae”, the sprinkling craze has reached new heights. So lovebirds, swap your rainbow sprinkles and party hats for rock salt and a pout. The more you sprinkle this salt, the better. For best results, stand on the table and watch the tears roll down as they dramatically hit the plate (and eyes) of your date!

4. Be creative

Take your cooking skills to the next level by turning your dish into a work of art. To instantly enhance the aesthetics of your meal, all you need to do is add a little color. Literally splash it on the plate. If Jackson Pollock’s splatter paintings can bring in millions, then this trick can get you a second date! Line up a few beets, sprinkle with a few leafy greens, then sprinkle with blue-dyed lemon juice. Add a splash of tomato sauce and a splash of green Tabasco and you have a masterpiece.

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5. Kitchen Magic AKA Distraction

A magician never reveals his secrets, but we’re about to share a trick that’s guaranteed to win hearts. If you don’t succeed the first time in the kitchen, don’t try again. Instead, turn your ordinary dish into extraordinary with a little sleight of hand! All you need for this magic is your local fast-dial takeaway store. As you place the order, create a jaw-dropping distraction by lighting up your failed dish. Finally, wait for your date’s applause when the “same” dish reappears at your front door in a prepackaged take-out box. Magical.

6. Fake it until you make it

In prehistoric times, men and women took their dates to dinner in a restaurant. Today, in the 21st century, technology has allowed us to evolve and move out of this medieval practice. All you need for a romantic meal is an uncracked smartphone and Uber Eats. When your date arrives, toss your newly delivered food into the frying pan and stir it around to convince them you cooked it. For salads, add some extra lettuce to make your own, then sprinkle that salt on like the chef/salt bae you are.

7. Mom Special

Living at home on a date can be difficult. Make the most of your rent-free life, stay home with a little help from mom in the kitchen. When the doorbell rings, make sure it’s hidden! No one can argue that a mother’s bolognese/Sunday roast/stir-fried vegetables aren’t the best she’s ever tasted. If your date claims otherwise, it’s time to say goodbye.

8. The reality check

If all else fails and the man or girl of your dreams doesn’t see your true culinary talent, drop the date. You are destined for greater things and it’s time to put your skills to the test. Pack up your dropper and flowers and head to the next Masterchef auditions. Anyway, who needs a real relationship when you can have reality TV?

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