Can sexual preference change at midlife?

Sexuality is constantly evolving. It’s not rare for some individuals to discover new passions later in life. Instead of struggling to accept those desires, it’s much better to embrace change and enjoy all the fruits of your passion that you honestly feel. Sure, suddenly switching your sexual preference will cause some upheaval in your private life. However, stubbornly refusing to acknowledge your inner wishes could be even more dangerous and disruptive.

Some women play the role of a wife and mother for decades and then suddenly decide to become a lesbian sugar mommy. While that might be shocking for the environment, it can be the right thing to do in many cases. Here are some interesting thoughts about changes in sexual preference:

Is sexual preference fixed or fluid?

Scientists disagree whether our sexual identities are truly unchangeable or can be altered over time. There are many cases where people completely transformed at a later age but were still able to find happiness. Many people discover bisexuality after being married for a long time, and some couples even try group sex to develop their relationship in a more open direction. It’s perfectly fine to introduce new things into your love life and experience different types of excitement for as long as you remain honest with yourself and your partners. Fluid sexuality is completely normal, and changes may manifest at any age, often suddenly and without an overt intention by the individual. That’s why it’s important to explore and experiment until you find out what attracts you the most at present. At the very least, this way, you will learn how rigid your sexuality is and whether you are curious enough to evolve your romantic tastes.

Discovering your repressed desires

Much of our sexual preference is defined during adolescence and is often a product of peer pressure or convenience. Acting out unusual sexual desires can be very difficult for a young person living in a socially conservative place, so some of those urges are pushed under the carpet. It’s not rare for a person in a more mature phase of life to start dealing with some tendencies that were kept in check for a long time. This healthy process can lead to increased happiness, although it may be psychologically demanding and result in some mid-life turbulence. In the most severe cases, professional assistance may be needed to face childhood traumas related to sex and liberate normal affinities repressed by social norms or parental control. Even without real trauma, removing the layers of defensive mechanisms accumulated over the years could be a slow and painstaking process, with a possibility of a setback. This is why patience is a virtue when you are trying to deal with your sexual repressions and subconscious barriers you may not even be aware of.

How to know what your true sexual preference is?

If you accept that sexual preference can change, a logical conclusion is that no sexual orientation can be regarded as permanent or final. It also helps if you view the range of possibilities in a nuanced way rather than thinking in clear-cut categories such as ‘straight,’ ‘gay,’ ‘older,’ or ‘younger.’ Sexual orientation is a deeply personal matter, and it doesn’t have to fit anyone’s classification, so you should just follow your heart and do what feels right to you. If you are being fair with yourself and notice the signs of attraction for a certain type of partner, you should feel encouraged to move in that direction and perhaps try to find a dating partner with such characteristics. Some people who tried same-sex relationships later in life were stunned by how much they enjoyed expanding their horizons, so you should follow in their footsteps and pursue happiness no matter which route you need to take. After all, mature age is perfect for making a few mistakes, and it won’t hurt you to leave your comfort zone for a short period just to see how it feels.

There is a clear line between sexual fantasies that involve partners of the same sex and current efforts to find such a partner. If you feel that your romantic life isn’t fulfilling enough and have a clear idea of what type of relationship would suit you, there is no reason to ponder those questions alone. No matter what your sexual preference might be, there are plenty of others in your vicinity sharing the same passions. Joining a dating site or visiting a nightclub are some of the steps you can take to turn your dreams into reality. It just takes one encounter with the right person to completely change your perspective and make you feel accepted and emotionally whole again.