Emotional Intelligence: Why It Matters and How to Build It

Emotional Intelligence: Why It Is Important and How to Build It

With advancements in technology and complexity in human engagements, human skills have become fundamental to success in the world we live in today. Of these, emotional intelligence (EI) has emerged as one of the most significant traits predicting individual success and a great deal of organisational productivity and well-being. You probably know that emotional intelligence is correlated with over 75% of job performance. This startling stat highlights the power of recognising and managing emotions in ourselves and others.

Fundamentally, emotional intelligence is the capacity to perceive, comprehend, regulate, and use emotions. It goes beyond emotional awareness to include emotional skills that we use to navigate all areas of life — from developing and maintaining healthy social relationships to responding to everyday challenges and using emotional information in purposeful ways. Dr Daniel Goleman, a renowned psychologist and pioneer in defining emotional intelligence, characterises it as an individual’s capacity to manage emotions effectively and efficiently. He even asserts that emotional intelligence is the primary predictor of success in the workplace. It is no longer known as a soft skill but is essential to feel and understand yourself and others emotionally for survival in the current world.

Emotional Intelligence: Why It Matters and How to Build It
Emotional Intelligence

Why Emotional Intelligence Is The Most Crucial Skill You Should Have

Emotional intelligence is crucial because it affects your professional career, leadership skills, and overall quality of life. Therefore, in the workplace, EI is highly significant for career progression and success at work. Studies show that up to 60% of our personal and professional success is driven by emotional intelligence. Moreover, 90% of top performers have high emotional intelligence. This implies that emotional awareness and management sets good professionals above the rest. It doesn’t come as a surprise that 71% of employers seek EI over intellectual ability when hiring, and 75% of employers emphasise the importance of EI as a skill in the workplace. Emotional intelligence, including stress management, change management, and emotional regulation — critical for working with others and successfully interfacing with clients — makes up between 27% and 45% of job success. High-EI employees are also more often promoted and earn more because their relationship-management skills allow them to finesse their way through relationships across diverse institutional contexts. Companies focused on employing and developing emotionally intelligent employees grow revenue 22% more than average.

The effects of emotional intelligence are very pronounced in leadership positions. According to the World Economic Forum’s Future of Jobs 2023 report, the most critical leadership skill in 2024 will be emotional intelligence, which includes traits such as resilience, self-awareness and active listening — all core skills the future workforce will need to lead in a post-pandemic world. Leaders with high EI can build better morale in their team members, improve communication, and make better decisions. They can handle challenging discussions wisely, ensuring team members feel understood and appreciated, enhancing unit harmony and minimising tensions. Emotionally intelligent leaders understand their teams’ emotional needs and try to create work cultures that foster collaboration around innovative ideas. Teams with leaders high in EI —defined as empathetic — have performance boosts of 40%.

Emotional intelligence also plays a vital role in personal happiness: people with higher EI skills are better at regulating their emotions, which helps them manage stressors more effectively and enhances happiness (Rivers et al., 2013). They are also more likely to have meaningful relationships, deal with difficult situations with greater resilience and have an optimistic outlook. However, there is an interesting point to note: Global emotional intelligence scores between 2019 and 2023 have been declining, indicating the rising need for interventions for EI at a global level. Addressing this decline requires intentionally cultivating emotional intelligence skills that benefit individual and collective well-being.

These numbers demonstrate a striking case for emotional intelligence’s impact in all aspects of life and work.

How to Get In Touch With Emotional Intelligence

Multiple models exist that describe the core components of emotional intelligence. Daniel Goleman’s widely acclaimed framework identifies five key components that lay the foundation of EI :

Self-awareness — Understanding how their emotions, strengths, weaknesses, values, goals, and others impact their actions. Self-confidence and a realistic assessment of one’s ability are part of it. Consequently, self-aware individuals are humorous and confident and know how others can see and judge them.

Self-regulation: The capacity to monitor and control one’s feelings, urges, and actions. It includes trustworthiness, integrity, comfort with uncertainty, and willingness to change. Self-regulators are calm under pressure, recover quickly from setbacks, and foster optimism. They deliberate how they affect others and are accountable for their behaviour.

Social awareness: A skill that allows you to recognise and understand other individuals’ emotions, needs, and concerns. It encompasses empathy, organisational awareness (if you understand power dynamics and social networks), and service orientation (if you anticipate and meet customer needs). Socially aware people are brilliant listeners, observant and empathetic, responding well to people who are not emotionally balanced.

emotional intelligence matters
Emotional intelligence matters

Relationship management: The ability to build good relationships, influence, coach and mentor, manage conflict, and work well in a team. This is where communication and interpersonal skills come into play.” You can use relationship management to build trust through open communication, clarify decision-making and deliver direct and constructive feedback.

Motivation: Goleman identified motivation as another key element, including a drive to achieve, a commitment to goals, initiative, and optimism, even in the face of failure. Very motivated people are dedicated, proactive, and goal-orientated.

These five elements are interlinked, impacting an individual’s overall emotional intelligence and how they respond and engage with others in different environments.

Building Emotional Intelligence: 10 Secret Strategies

The development of emotional intelligence is lifelong and requires conscious effort, awareness, and consistency. The good news is that EI is not a static trait; it can be developed with purposeful practice. Here are practical methods for enhancing each of the fundamental elements:

How to Increase Your Self-Awareness with Tried and True Tactics

Developing self-awareness means getting to know your thoughts, moods, and how you affect the people around you.

Yes, practise feeling your feelings; check in with yourself several times daily. Notice how you feel and where you might feel that experience in your body.

Take note of how you react: Notice how you respond to different emotions and how this affects your daily life. Awareness of how you react is part of figuring out how to act.

Challenge Your Opinions: Question your beliefs and be willing to consider other points of view. This will cultivate empathy and openness to new perspectives.

1) Owning Your Feelings: Realise that how you feel and react is born within you, not outside. Owning this duty also feels empowering.

Evaluate and learn: Take the time to celebrate positive moments and reflect on the why of negative feelings. This kind of self-reflection leads to growing up.

Practice mindfulness: Engage in activities like meditation or focused breathing, which help you pay attention to your thoughts and feelings in the current moment without judgment.

Maintain a Journal. Regularly write about your thoughts and feelings to identify behavioural and emotional response patterns. Critique: Approach trusted colleagues, friends, or mentors to provide honest and forthright feedback on your behaviour and how you may affect others. This gives you examples of what you may not see. Or undergo a 360-degree assessment for added perspective.

Grow to See Yourself Objectively: As tricky as it may be, honestly weigh your strengths and weaknesses. Feedback from others can help here.

How to Use Self-Control — The Only Strategies That Work

Self-regulation is managing one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviours appropriately and effectively in different situations, particularly under stress.

Be Smarter than your Emotions: Take a break and give yourself enough time to respond in emotionally charged situations. Even a moment’s pause lets your thoughts catch up with your feelings.

Walk Away: If necessary, turn your back on the situation for a time to reset. And a little time usually helps prevent impulsive action.

Acknowledge What You Feel and What Triggers You: After all, you can only manage what you know, so you must first be aware of what you are feeling and what causes you to get emotional. When you know your triggers, you can predict and manage better.

Deep Breathing: Slow and deep breaths calm your nervous system when you need more work.

Practice Doing Positive Self-Talk: Combat negative thoughts by replacing them with more confident and kind statements towards yourself.

Revisit the Story You Are Telling Yourself: Before coQuestiontial interpretations of events and consider alternative explanations.

Before concluding, decide on your response: You can choose how to respond to your emotions. Consider various ways you could respond first.

Exercise mindfulness and acceptance: In fitful moments of potent stress, accept your feelings as they are without leading to emotional equilibrium.

Reframe Negative Thoughts: Look for a learning opportunity or positive aspect when faced with challenges.

Specific, Proven Strategies to Raise Social Awareness

Increasing social awareness means becoming better at recognising and feeling the moods of others.

Tune in to Active Listening: Respond to what people say verbally and nonverbally. Be an active listener: nodding, paraphrasing, etc. Listen not to respond but to understand.

Be Mindful of Nonverbal Signals: Monitoring body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice can help you better understand others and their feelings.

Develop Empathy: See things through other people’s eyes. That’s how you learn to empathise with their thoughts and feelings.

Be Curious and Ask Open-Ended Questions: Show interest in others’ lives and viewpoints by asking open questions.

Be In The Now: In a social situation, give your full attention and do not do multiple things simultaneously. Exhibit that you are listening through your body language.

Be mindful of social dynamics. Learn the spoken and unspoken rules for various social scenarios to make your responses appropriate.

State Communicating with Empathy and Kindness: Truly care and acknowledge feelings without judging others.

Do not be critical: Allow others to be vulnerable without instant judgment in a safe space.

Embrace Discrepancy: Celebrate and appreciate people’s distinctive qualities and variety of experiences.

Relationship Management Techniques That Work

Developing relationship management is the ability to develop and sustain positive relationships.

Build Trust With Communication: Be transparent, vulnerable, and true to your word. Be clear in what you intend and then deliver.

Guide: Share the reasons behind your decisions to help others understand and get on board.

Please be direct and constructive when giving me your feedback. You should give positive appreciation and constructive feedback helpfully.

Practice Assertive Communication: Be clear and respectful about your needs and concerns without being aggressive, passive, or passive-aggressive.

Develop Active Listening and Speaking Abilities: Learn to listen, pay attention to others when they are communicating, and express your ideas and feelings well.

Conflict Resolution: When dealing with a disagreement, try to maintain resolution and understanding and stay calm during emotionally charged situations.

Reason 2: express respect and appreciation —R others and thank them.

Follow Your Curiosity and Ask Open-Ended Questions: Continue to check in on your partner’s or colleagues’ thoughts and feelings.

Practice Validation: Validate others’ feelings, even if you disagree with them.

Double down on positive interactions: Provide opportunities for good times and shared activities to strengthen connections.

Employing these techniques consistently will significantly improve emotional intelligence and the merits that accompany the skill set.

Overcoming Common Challenges and Misconceptions

The field of emotional intelligence is growing, but it appears that many people are struggling with its development and misunderstanding it. Reason 4: Overestimating Emotional Intelligence Many people think they are self-aware, but a small percentage act like this. It is challenging to have an inaccurate perception of yourself. To overcome this hurdle, it is essential to get candid feedback from others.

One myth is that you have or do not have emotional intelligence—or it can be learnt. Despite this common belief, EI is not a fixed trait but a skill that can be cultivated and honed with intention and effort throughout a person’s life. Like any other skill, it requires practice and working outside your comfort zone.

People may also have difficulty identifying and labelling their feelings, a vital self-awareness factor. While you may not know exactly how to describe what you are experiencing, as you practice mindfulness and journaling, you will develop emotional literacy. Also, it can be hard to cope with strong negative emotions, such as anger or fear. Practices like pausing before answering, breathing into the moment, and cognitive reframing help enhance self-regulation.

Many Eleutherians fail to sympathise with the out-groupers with varying thought processes or life experiences. Active listening, asking open-ended questions, and attempting to understand situations from another person’s perspective can help foster empathy and improve social awareness.

Last but not least, developing and nurturing strong relationships requires work and particular skills. Struggles in this realm often result from ineffective communication, lingering conflict, and lack of trust. Assertive communication, active listening skills, and constructive feedback are all key areas for development when looking to improve relationship management skills.

Why Learning Emotional Intelligence Is Key To Success

Here is a real-world example of how emotional intelligence can impact the workplace and your personal life. In the workplace, a leader with high EI can walk into a fraught team meeting and diffuse the tension simply by acknowledging and validating the feelings of team members who object to a new project. How well they temper reactions, align with worries, and explain the why of the project can defuse the situation and create more buy-in for a project. On the other hand, an EI-deficient leader might ignore these issues, which contributes to resentment and lowers the mood and morale of the team.

Let’s say a salesperson is socially attuned. They can observe and interpret a potential customer’s nonverbal cues, recognising when they are undecided or harbouring concerns. By implementing their sales strategy, seeking clarification, and practising empathy, they can build rapport and trust, thus increasing the chances of closing the sale.

In personal interactions, emotional intelligence is key in conflict negotiation and deepening relationships. Your self-aware partner may find when they feel defensive during an argument, they pause and give themselves time to formulate an intelligent response rather than reacting in the moment. By exercising self-regulation, they prevent the situation from becoming unmanageable. Moreover, their empathy lets them see their partner’s side of the argument, facilitating a more meaningful discussion and resolution.

The most critical skill in customer intelligence is emotional intelligence. An employee who can stay calm and empathetic while handling an upset customer will be better able to de-escalate the situation and provide a satisfactory resolution, increasing customer satisfaction and loyalty. For example, American Express experienced an 18.1% increase in business from advisors who underwent emotional intelligence training emphasising the practical applications of EI in interfacing with customers.

These are just a few examples of how emotional intelligence can prove beneficial in real life, demonstrating its practical significance.

Emotional Intelligence FAQ: Questions and Answers

Q: How can I enhance my emotional intel on the double?

A: You continuously work on building emotional intelligence but can practise it by committing to one essential component at a time. Try, for example, a week of active listening in every interaction. Ask yourself at the end of each day how well you listened and what you can do better tomorrow. You could also work on identifying your emotions as they occur and their causes. Despite being small and undersized, little efforts add up to great results.

Q: Is emotional intelligence more important than IQ in terms of success?

A: While IQ is important, research shows that emotional intelligence can better predict success — especially in the workplace. Although cognitive skills are valuable, emotional intelligence—deciphering and regulating emotions, cultivating relationships, and steering social dynamics—is critical to personal and professional success. According to studies, EQ accounts for twice as much in the equation of who will succeed versus who has IQ and technical skills.

Q: Is emotional intelligence something that can be measured?

Question: Are there tests available to measure emotional intelligence? Such assessments frequently assess the fundamental dimensions of EI, including self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, and relationship management. Your feedback from these assessments can also help you identify your strengths and gaps, which you must work on.

Q: What are the symptoms of low emotional intelligence?

A: Low emotional intelligence can manifest in difficulty coming to terms with its effects, a tendency to act impulsively and fail to manage it, blaming others for how you feel, a lesser ability to empathise with others, poor listening skills,  inability to establish and maintain relationships, and frequent conflicts.

Q: What are the benefits of emotional intelligence on team performance?

A: Teams that have intelligence work better together, communicate openly, and resolve conflict constructively. This mutual understanding significantly boosts productivity and innovation, resulting in a well-functioning and successful team. For instance, a 36% improvement in team collaboration is observed when EI is integrated into technology teams.

Conclusion: The Inspirational Power of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence has become a crucial skill for individuals seeking to prosper in the current world and achieve enduring success. There is overwhelming evidence of its influence on career success, our ability to lead others, and our well-being. I suppose you comprehend its quintessential elements and apply them to build self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, relationship management, and motivation. In that case,. In that case, it can equip you to forge relationships, either difficulties or resilience, and realise your full potential. The demand for emotional intelligence skills is growing more and more nowadays, increasingly driving an approach in leaders to improve productivity and morale. So, take that step forward and look for the tools, like emotional intelligence assessments or free courses, to guide your path to mastering this powerful skill.

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