Hilarious T-Shirts That Should Never Be Worn In Public

Hilarious T-Shirts: There is no worse feeling than waking up with half of your face sore and your mates telling you they had to prevent a guy from killing you just because you hooked up with his girlfriend at a party. Many people are dishonest about their relationship status while out partying and problems arise in such situations. However, this girl is not only honest but also adds a bit of adrenaline to the equation. It’s like MJ taking the last shot in the Finals!

Hilarious T-Shirts

The clock is ticking, ladies

There is nothing better than confidence in both men and women. However, this guy turned it up a notch when he decided to teach those pesky ladies a lesson and shame them for not snatching them while they had the chance. Everyone needs some tough love from time to time, and this guy gets it. We’re guessing that this simple move with a T-shirt resulted in many women fighting to step in front of the altar with him. That cheeky bastard!

Caught red-handed

Let’s just face it — we all do it. While there are some who still deny the fact that they pee in public pools and oceans, it’s a well-known fact that there isn’t a person on this planet who would hesitate to relieve themselves in such a large body of water. Of course, there is a time and place for everything, which this guy must have forgotten. Plus, we would say that flaunting your peeing habits on a boat is not the wisest idea in the world, to say the east.

Sure thing

The term ‘hustle’ is used widely nowadays, so we hope that this young lady isn’t promoting the notion that good karma comes to those who sell crack on street corners. And let’s also hope that she’s not doing that particular thing while being pictured here. There is so much stuff to ponder when you’re waiting at the bus stop, and philosophical meanings of people’s clothing are just one example. The options are limitless.

Safety is in the eye of the beholder

Now, before you call someone a hypocrite just because he’s bouncing around in the back of a pickup truck, you should stop and think about it. How can you know if this is safe or not? Maybe the guy has called the back of a pickup truck his home for his entire lifetime, and he’s a now a pro at maintaining his safety there. However, he is also kind enough to let us know (with a neon yellow background) that his endeavors are not for everyone.

ALL the trends

If you’ve been following internet trends over the last few years, you surely remember the YOLO/swag era comprised of the most annoying and strange noises made by kids. This guy decided to unite trends from many different eras. The bedazzled shades come straight from the ‘80s, the self-made shirt is a classic ‘90s item, while the dyed goth hair is a perfect ‘00s transition to the 2010s phrases on the shirt. And the confidence? Timeless!

Perfect

There are times when the shirt perfectly matches the situation. They must have gotten a little bit too tipsy and come up with the idea to take their boat for a ride. What these guys forgot is that their boat is not a military-grade vessel that can cross anything, as it got epically stuck in the middle of a swamp. This looks a lot like Everglades, so the entire theory that they’re smashed is completely plausible. Everything strange somehow happens in Florida.

Thanks for letting us know

It’s pretty clear that this shirt is a play on Chevron’s logo. The famous company deals with gas and fuel, so this probably is a promotional tee. What the designer didn’t think about was the fact that having gas doesn’t only mean being in possession of fuel. This gentleman also forgot that he probably let a few thousand people in on the secret that he is bloated. Before picking up that free tee next time, please be careful.

OG grandpa

Aside from buying souvenir T-shirts on vacation, the second-best clothing fails are the ones that involve old people wearing clothing clearly borrowed for someone younger. This grandpa here is a prime example of such T-shirt fails. Instead of just going to the store, he went full gangsta on them without even a hint of mercy. We never knew Fridays at the farmer’s market were so lit, so we might be tempted to check it out.

Hol’ up…

There is a certain group of men who do prefer blondes and some ladies even dye their hair in that color just to seem more attractive. But what happened here? Was she on her way to the hair salon when someone snapped a pic? Did she sleep over at her friend’s house after a wild night and borrow her shirt? There is such a conundrum surrounding this picture. We would love to find the young lady and ask her a few questions.

Poor Kurt

Kurt Cobain had a troubled life. He had his issues with mental illnesses and even dabbled with drugs for a certain amount of time. After taking his own life, one would think Kurt finally found peace, but things are becoming worse and worse. Imagine devoting your entire life to music only to have the name of your band posted under the picture of Hanson. Pop-rock and grunge really don’t see eye to eye, making this fail a real eyesore.

Showing off

This situation can’t be a coincidence. The guy was obviously playing with fire and managed to get the cops called on him. He must have done it on purpose because getting arrested with a police-themed tee is just too much to be a simple accident. Oh well, there is a lot to analyze in this picture. Based on the indifferent look on his face, our guess is that he was probably high on bath salts or something.

In case of separation

This cute picture is actually a pretty good idea. If they get lost, yelling can sometimes fail because the place is crowded, but other people can jump in and help when they see what’s going on. We’ve just been wondering about a possible situation where she gets lost. They will know that her name is Rita, but how will they know whom to return her to? We just hope they have the reverse printed on the front of their shirts, but who knows…

A reminder

This guy wanted to go to a festival and have fun but remembered all the security hazards such an endeavor includes. While pondering a possible solution to the problem, he decided on a written warning to possible kidnappers. It does make sense. If you had to have an increased risk of heart attacks, strokes, cancer and diabetes but be harder to kidnap, would you take that deal? It seems like a tough bargain. We would have to think about it more seriously.

Swag is eternal

Who says swagger ages? This guy is a real-life example of the fact that confidence reigns supreme and can never be stifled by a decade or two. He didn’t only go out and party like a boss — he also got smashed in an amazing crop top that sends a clear message to those who either hate or doubt him. We bet that he’s having the time of his life. Now all that is left to do is find the tee online. It should look good with every outfit.

Too old for this

Those wild weekends get old after a certain amount of time. One moment you’re at your third afterparty at 11 a.m. and the next you’re cursing everything around you because you’re awake at 3 a.m. on a Friday night. Sometimes, you just want to chill at home and save your energy for the more important stuff. This lady has probably seen her fair share of wild nights, so it’s completely understandable that she has the attitude of a party veteran. You go, girl!

We all do

OK, let’s not jump to conclusions right away. Maybe he is a truck driver who works at a construction site and loves the sound all the bricks make. There is also the possibility of him taking joy in dumping garbage in a landfill somewhere. However, we all know that the first thing that comes to mind is defecating, so this T-shirt might not be the best choice to wear. Still, there is nothing better than a good time on the toilet in the wee hours of the morning…

Understandable

We’ve all been there. You return home from a cocktail night that spirals out of control, you have three project deadlines and you oversleep despite your alarm clock going crazy. On such days, we tend to avoid other human beings, as they only present problems in terms of communication and preserving our nerves. This lady must have seen quite enough during her time to make this particular tee a part of her daily attire.

Not that ideal of a moment

Bacon is something everyone loves. It goes well with every meal. Even if you put it in ice cream, it just turns into ice cream on steroids. So according to that logic, having a bacon-loving T-shirt is not a bad idea, as it is something everyone can relate to, right? Not quite. Everyone loves bacon until they remember that it is made out of cute little piglets like this one. You can sense the awkwardness of the situation. The look on his face tells you everything.

Motivation

Jogging t-shirts usually involve some cheesy motivational quote. Even companies like Nike and Adidas have caught on and made phrases like “Just do it” an inseparable part of their brand. However, this guy is the living embodiment of an “against all odds” mentality. If he, at the age of 50 with severe health problems, can run a marathon, so can you. People are too busy making excuses to truly grasp the opportunities at their disposal.

Jane, is that you?

Despite the blank looks they give us when we encounter them, cows are intelligent creatures. This cow must have seen facial features similar to those of her sister and went up to say hi. Now, we don’t see this every day, but we can’t help but wonder what was going through the cow’s head at that moment. Is the cow drawn on the tee a real cow or an animated one? Did it really recognize it or was it just a coincidence? So many questions…

Being precise is everything

This old lady might not be in the shape she was in a few decades ago, but she still has that iconic flair that makes other women go crazy with jealousy. If you’ve got it, then you should surely flaunt it every chance you get. She obviously lives by this saying, sparing no effort to remind her rivals that she is precisely 20% hotter than all of them together. Considering the fact that she’s Asian, she must have done her math to come up with the exact her-vs.-you hotness ratio.

100% imprisoned

It looks like the arresting officer didn’t take her T-shirt as a good enough excuse, but maybe she’ll have some better luck in front of the judge. Her lawyer could seriously appeal due to the fact that her angelic 2% has a chance of coming out at any moment. Because of that, it would be a bad thing to convict her, as she could only be naughty in prison. Sadly, naughtiness is sometimes a criminal offense, and she’s certainly guilty.

Hello indeed

Cue the “Officer, I really do have a permit for these guns” jokes. In this case, this guy decided to embrace the situation and flex as much as he could. There is just something hilarious about wearing a shirt that is three sizes too small for you while trying to look as tough as possible in it. We just can’t imagine the horrors he had to endure to take it off without cutting off blood flow. Yikes.

Help, anyone?

Will Ferrell was awesome in the movie Elf, but something tells us that this guy must have had something to do with the screaming face Will has on the pic. In what seemed like an attempt to flash his cool T-shirt, the poor man accidentally made it seem like Will is trying to escape from the warmth of his sweater. We wonder how women respond when you approach them with a screaming Will Ferrell on your chest…

The best pants of all time

You’ll never see the need to wear pants when you’ve got this t-shirt on. Maybe she wore that t-shirt to encourage people to wear skirts or jumpsuits. Whether she took this picture with that intention in her mind or she just wanted to take a funny picture to post online is anyone’s guess. There is one fact about this photo, and that is I’m sure she’ll chuck that t-shirt away when winter comes because she’ll need those pants! But hey maybe she won’t get rid of it, no pants are the best pants after all.

Why, though?

Unlike all the other entries on our list, this shirt doesn’t involve anything inappropriate. No offensive language, no spelling fails or bad translations — just one big design flaw. Apparently, someone thought it would be a good idea to add a bit of baby blue on a random spot, making it seem like you’re carrying a big wedgie the entire day. Let’s just hope someone turned around and told the poor guy about the fashion problem he was facing.

Quick, call the cops

Hmm, we don’t think the local police force would be distracted by this guy’s sexiness, but they might think twice about pressing charges because of that Comic Sans font. Additionally, if there was ever a thing like the fashion police, this guy would have a warrant out for him at all times. Hopefully, he embraces his life of crime and stops being so goddamn sexy and distracting us. He has to learn he has responsibilities as well.

Crossover

No, Avengers: Infinity War is not the most ambitious crossover event anymore. Someone invested the effort and made a pun with an accompanying picture, fusing the faces and names of the first black president in U.S. history and the famous Chinese communist leader. We can’t read Mandarin, so there is no telling what the characters below could say. Is Obama as bad as Mao? Is Obama loved like Mao? It seems that these shirts are mind-boggling in addition to being funny.

Off to a nice start

All the cute girls are “cute but psycho,” and there is no avoiding it. Every single pinch of angelic cuteness is followed by a few tons of craziness, and this shirt is a clear indicator why. Everything starts off normally before you get an offer to be a murderer. We all have weird fetishes, but we can’t recall getting murdered being one of those. Oh well, at least she gives us a heads-up so that we don’t fall into a trap or something…

Bowties and crack

Whoa, that’s surely a bold statement. The guy must have good dealers for both crack and bowties. In order to flaunt his feel-good attitude and happiness, he decided to promote his crack guy with a cool sweater. Not bad for a marketing plan, though. And we can’t help but notice the flashy golden Rolex on his left wrist. Either the guy doesn’t know English or he’s seen too much of Migos’ music videos in the last few months.

Just do it

Even though Nike is the indubitable leader in athletic clothing, they’ve made some blunders. Thankfully, these happen very rarely and are most likely the result of the company trying to appeal to kids who follow current trends. The entire pose and the neon green hat complete the 2010 douchebag outfit. Of course, when you look at the redness in his eyes, it might make sense as to why he wore what he did.

Friendzoned

It’s clear that this guy has his priorities straight. Sure, his girlfriend wanted them to wear matching clothes for some kind of fair outside, but he didn’t want to abandon his beloved fedora. The love for this iconic piece of hat knows no bounds, as this guy is well aware of the fact that he might be required to pack his things and move out soon. However, it’s possible that his wife would fall for a “m’lady” or two. *tips fedora*

Education and looks

We need more epic T-shirts like this. Most of them promote either bad humor or feature some kind of mistake, but this one motivates young people to both take care of their skin using daily treatments as well as to stay in school and work hard for that degree. By the looks of the lady in the background, the trend is spreading, and soon we’ll see more and more people wearing this iconic piece of clothing. Who needs North Face when you have the Sexy Face?

Does anyone have a pair of sunglasses?

He may not be the sun, but he damn sure is sexy enough for us to go blind because of his uncanny looks and unique charm. Despite our moms always telling us not to stare at the sun, it may be possible that this guy was the center of the solar system all along. There is no way a guy as sexy as him could be hidden from the world. He may not be white, but he sure is white-hot, and we can imagine the temptation a lady feels whenever she passes him by.

Umm, OK?

Our guess is that this guy was already 15 beers deep into the night before his friends decided to capitalize on his lack of brain cells and pull a prank on him. By the look on his eyes, it’s clear that this guy was blasted into another dimension. Or he might not know a word of English, and someone gave him this shirt. Either way, it’s still amazing to see emoji symbols and shitty fonts being exploited to create situations like this.

Player’s world

Due to a limited number of females around them, some guys have resorted to some pretty unorthodox tactics. And because the fight for ladies’ hearts has gotten so intense, this guy wanted to remind them that it isn’t worth fighting for him. He doesn’t want to abandon or disregard them. He’s a pacifist willing to share his delightful body with every interested candidate around. And we all know how many lonely women are roaming around his local Wal-Mart at 3 a.m….

FBI of a different kind

The FBI is one of the most serious arms of the DOJ. Whenever these guys come in, you know shit’s hit the fan or as they say, ‘It’s about to go down.’ You may never hear of them, but if you’ve ever been a really big party, there’s a great chance you’ve run into the other FBI. Their job is to attend parties (preferably ones they’ve not been invited to) and immediately try to get ground on by the closest lady they can find. They are: ‘the Female Body Inspectors.’

A Proper Father

Once guys become fathers, something that has always been inside them is awoken, a secret gene that even scientists have never been able to describe. They suddenly get an affinity for terrible puns and, every day at 7AM, they are compelled to wake everyone within a ten-mile radius with their obnoxiously loud lawn mowers. It’s all well and good if you’re the average person, but if your dad is celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay, he’s not yours to worry alone. We know the pain.

The Clothing Doppelganger

Sometimes, the forces of the universe come together and conspire to make your day just right. If not, you will probably come to the realization that guys have really limited fashion choices and most of them just decide to wing it with whatever works. The coincidence is definitely pretty eerie, though. It goes down to the color of the glasses and the belt. This was either some creepy serendipity or a really well thought-out long con of a marketing gimmick.

Jesus Or Pepsi: The choice is right

Remember that one time when the Pepsi marketing team apparently didn’t know racism was a serious issue and they thought they could fix it with a fizzy drink? Well, there comes a time when you have to choose between the ultimate temptation and the ultimate savior. There are no two ways about this folks: you either love Jesus or you love Pepsi. Only one can get you bloated, and only the other can get you a free ticket into heaven. Choose wisely.

Yeah, Quite difficult

The English language is notorious for having more synonyms for individual words (rather than more words to describe more situations, like German) in the world. This makes it notoriously difficult for non-natives to pick up. Throw on a mustache, a certain distaste in minorities and an irrational love for American trucks and you have with you an impossible task on your hands. Might as well give up while they are all still kids, so they don’t get exposed to that nasty ‘public school’ stuff.

License plate on my chest, sergeant

Encountering a person with a t-shirt such as this in real life, only one real question comes to mind: are you high? Ninety percent of the times, it answers itself. The more pressing issue is knowing what they are high on so we can stay as far away from it as possible. More importantly, however, is this a real license plate? If so, is whoever that’s driving it forty yet? To be fair, though, there are a lot of sexy forty-year-olds out there, so it holds no merit.

Legally Blonde

You can be anything you want if you dream about it hard enough. If you want to be blonde, for example, you can accomplish it in one of two ways: have enough cash and secret knowledge other scientists haven’t discovered yet and transport yourself into the future. You can then utilize the very convenient gene-changing technology they have. On the other hand, you should have like twenty bucks and go get your hair dyed blonde at the nearest salon. The second option sounds pretty hard, though, better get that time machine fired up.

Friends don’t mind, no matter what!

Yeah, you think this decades-old kind of humor is for your aunt or dad, and even they no longer find photos like this one funny. But then you remember that one friend you just have to wear it with and stand next to him! Everyone has that one friend. Luckily, you bought a couple of these tees at a car boot sale for a dollar, so you will be ready when the moment comes. Your aunt will find the photo hilarious! Without being ‘stupid.’

His sister’s shirt

No better way to show off your muscles than to wear your four-year-old sister’s Hello Kitty shirt. The kitty’s eye will fit right where your muscular chest is, spreading the face to that of a koala. Your sis will be impressed and motivated to try even harder in life just to be like you. Seriously, if you thought pics like these were a good idea, your little sis will probably not communicate with you as soon as she gets independent consciousness, so all’s fine.

I need this shirt

If you want to make people stare at your body, this T-shirt is the right choice. Sounds so smart and important, people just need to re-read it a few times, so they don’t look stupid to themselves. Orthography and capitalization Take another few reads to fully process, but it will pay off. Under NO circumstances should you admit you have no clue what this is and where you got the crazy garment from. If you do understand the meaning, please please please email us to explain!

Nothing like potatoes

It’s important to teach kids to appreciate the little things in life. No better way than getting them potato-loving T-shirts. Don’t we all love potatoes? The French fries, mashed potato….yummy! If your kid asks for a Nike shirt or one with Pokemon themes, just repeat the question in a low voice “Don’t you like potatoes sweetie?”. They will never argue with you again.

Caution captivity man

Nothing spells toughness like captivity man. Was chase, hey! You run awey? Well, you ware warning. This is probably what conversations with Captivity Man look like. Everyone needs one in their life, but real men are hard to find these days. Tough T-shirts luckily abound, so those less fortunate can at least pretend. If you have a son or a brother turning to the wimpy side, this is the New Year’s present to get.

Cuties

Okay, in every ten thousand T-shirts with inscriptions, one is actually cool. Or two. It’d be worth patenting these for couples to brag, with increased value as time passes by. Together since 1962, these two surely have something to boast! Let’s hope that’s the meaning of the shirts; if not, it sooooo should be! Worth patenting nevertheless – if a famous brand made them, millennials would leap into the trend right away, and then get new ones again and again as they break up.

Is that so?

Did you know: The pig is full of cats. Well, this might confuse you once. But there’s some science behind it. This may be some new British slang, a pop song or pure gibberish (or all three), we’d say it’s impossible to guess. But if we searched for the most pointless sentence with animals in it, it’d be hard to beat, so this is a garment worth having. And seriously, no one will EVER ask you what that means, it’s just… too much of… pig.

I dream of Jail

You know those dreams where the board games you played suddenly turn into real life? It happened to this guy, and he’s stuck in the Go to Jail T-shirt. The prison folks didn’t seem to care, and monopoly money can’t seem to bail him out. He can just wait for the next monopoly card to cover his belly, hoping it’s the You Win a Beauty Contest this time. Poor guy! Hope he puts on a better t-shirt next time around and hopefully that will bring him luck.

The best days of our lives

Many people say that college is the best time of everyone’s life, and we can’t blame them. All those incessant parties, bonds and moments result in…badly printed T-shirts. She sure loves those frat parties because that’s the only place where you can find enough alcohol to be able to omit such a mistake. Oh well, maybe her major is marine biology or something — not English. However, what’s important is that she’s having fun. Spelling is such an elementary school thing…

Please feed the models

Those t-shirts were unnecessary. I’m certain those models already do what’s written on them all by themselves. Or are they trying to keep guys from asking them out to dinner? Well, fat chance! I’m sure that almost all the men who saw that written on their t-shirts took it as a challenge and offered them chocolates and steak dinners. If they fell for those temptations those t-shirts are probably too big for them now, and they could be taking a ride in a garbage truck right now.

Random printing

Clothing factories in East Asia have the adorable habit of printing out random English words to make the wearer look stylish. Many people buy such T-shirts, but the whole concept ends up backfiring terribly in the end. In this case, they must have googled the most popular English words and put them on a piece of fabric. The most ironic thing is that the woman’s face almost radiates with anguish from realizing the meaning of the writing.

She’s a beef maker

Don’t look for hidden meanings. Daddy was drunk while buying presents from that street vendor pretending to be blind. C’mon, it was a great deal and also helped those less fortunate. People who read others T-shirts are mean by nature anyway. In any case, you can wear it at night time, like really dark night time in a really dark place with no people inside. OK, the red-white contrast might still show, but you can wear it in bed, for instance. Plus, he got the size right this time. People never stop complaining.

It kind of does

This shirt is a witty play on the popular female phrase “Does this make me look fat?” which comes with a mandatory positive answer. While she’s obviously fit, she’s alluding to the fact that no jeans, shirt or skirt can make you look fat if you take care of your body. If you really are fat, there is no piece of clothing in the world that can hide that. So everyone look up to this lady, leave the pastries alone and hit the gym ASAP.

Looking for attention

It’s not easy to make others listen to you. Whether it’s at the office, in school or in your own home, we’ve all dealt with this problem one time or another.
This young lady, however, seems to have found the solution: farting. It might be unorthodox, and it’s not the most refined way to do it, but it definitely works. So next time you want your voice to be heard, you know what to do!

Under construction

Obviously, this lady didn’t feel quite comfortable sharing her true figure with us. Instead, she went with a bold strategy that worked, believe it or not. By having that cartoon on her T-shirt, she showed us what she would look like in a few months when she’s done with all the gym work. We’ve heard that black makes you look slimmer, but this strange white combo is still a worthy option to consider while trying to conceal your body.

Attitude is everything

There are many people who believe that your attitude governs the way you live, and they may be right. If you are in a good mood, you tend to ignore the bad things or even perceive them in a more positive way. This guy must have woken up on the wrong foot and was pretty insistent on screwing up. With a prologue like that, it’s no wonder that his day ended up “really sucking.” Your day may be bad, but please avoid the backs of police cars.

The perfect one

We have to admit it, there’s nothing else men like more than beautiful women and a good amount of bacon in the morning. So it’s no surprise that when we saw her wearing this t-shirt, we immediately fell in love. If you guys happen to find a girl wearing this shirt: marry her!
It’s essential for the people involved in a relationship to have things in common that they both enjoy, and what better than sharing this delicious passion.

You have some explaining to do

“Josh, if I can’t do a backflip over a table after 10 shots tonight, I am going to go to a Bieber concert!” We just hope the reason for this image is a quote like that. There are just so many strange things about the entire situation. They might have lost a bet or even accepted a certain amount of the money to do this. Another likely scenario is that they are desperately trying to break out of the friend zone by accompanying some female friends to the concert. Either way…yikes.

Beware! Warrior dad ahead

One of the most important aspects of being a dad is keeping the wolves at bay. From a young age, most girls are taught how to sniff out guys’ bullshit from miles away, so they don’t get tangled in webs of idiocy. Being a dad, though, why go for the long way around when you could just slap your naked upper body onto a t-shirt? Public humiliation is one of the best ways to keep your child in line for breaking rules, too.

Hastiness, Tony Montana and more

When you combine the star of the movie Scarface, ducks and hastiness, what do you get? Apparently, this shirt, as there is no other way to explain this weird syntax. This might be some kind of internal joke, but it’s as absurd of a joke as we’ve ever heard. The weirdness is amplified by the ellipses after every sentence signifying that there is surely something after that — something that we’ve managed to omit and not think about. Hmm…

Perfect

There are T-shirt fails, and then there is this. Everything is perfect in this mugshot. His face literally screams the fact that he is aware that he screwed up, with the shirt being icing on the cake. The orange hue is exactly the same as the one on prison uniforms, and ‘GUILTY’ appearing in big text isn’t helping his case. Innocent until proven otherwise, huh? Not quite. Who in their right mind would buy something like this, let alone wear it? Not to mention committing a crime dressed like that. Some things, you just can’t make up…

I may not be perfect but I may be drunk

I’d like to know why she bought that t-shirt but she looks happy with it, so we’ll let her be, for now. If she bought it for what’s written on it, I’d like to know if she bought sober or under the influence of that whiskey. If she bought it under the influence that would be perfect because then she might get rid of it when she sobers up. On the other hand, if she bought well aware and sober, I think we will need to drink that whole bottle before we agree with what’s written on it.

Yoga pants and that

Admitting you don’t like yoga is like saying you think puppies are not cute; wine is close as well, or alcoholism in general. So, the T-shirt is a safe choice. Wait, is she even wearing pants? Maybe there is something genuinely funny about this pic? Nah, probably not, just like with yoga. And wine. Puppies are OK. Couldn’t she have found a puppy T-shirt? It’s her choice so let us leave her with that. Enjoy, lady!

Very convincing

Her t-shirt is very reassuring, right? But we hadn’t said anything about silicon so why would she try to assure us that she has no silicon on her? Maybe she is right about having no silicon, which could be because she and silicon have become one. She’s just snitched on herself we wouldn’t have started asking ourselves about her deal with silicon. But let’s take her word for it, she’s put it loud and clear on that t-shirt that she’s anti-silicon.

He won the battle and the war

All jokes aside, anorexia is indeed a serious condition that affects millions of people on a yearly basis. There are many reasons why it’s misunderstood, and we’re still beginning to understand it better. However, this guy decided he should have a little fun with the fact that he himself is overweight. He didn’t just beat anorexia — he smashed its face and threw it in his basement. Let’s just hope he takes it a bit easier in the future.

Confidence is everything

There just might be something to this picture after all. The hilarious statement that this brave fellow is wearing might be enough to snatch the heart of this visibly drunk lady. Maybe she isn’t drunk due to alcohol — maybe his alpha-male aura was the thing that confused her and caused her to fall in love with him. And judging by those cargo shorts, there is so much going for him that we can’t blame the poor girl for falling for him.

That friend…

We all have that buddy who seemingly always gets injured, and you have to drive him to the ER at 4 a.m. because he did something idiotic at a party. There are always unlimited possibilities when it comes to having your hand smashed like this. Either he drank too much tequila or lost a beer pong match — those are our likeliest reasons. Regardless, he must have done some planning in advance because he had his attire on point.

Paris Hilton, is that you?

Ah, the good old bleached hair with an all-pink combo. Somebody must have found their old 2000s magazines and wanted to know if the trend would still catch the same reactions it did 15 years ago. There is so much to ask about this photo that we don’t even know where to start. Is the ‘almost famous’ because of her chest? In what language or culture is an ‘ow’ considered a viable replacement for the letter ‘O’? Why the purse? So many mysteries…

Not on his level

This guy must be living an extremely tough life. How does he even find the time to breathe with all the women throwing themselves at him? He must have had a lot of problems arranging his schedule with all the interested ladies, so he came up with a plan. This T-shirt quite possibly solved all the problems and limited the ladies throwing themselves at him to only models. This way, he will know which ones are serious and which ones are just messing around.

If there isn’t a toilet around…

Our favorite thing is definitely souvenir shirts sold in foreign countries. You would think that the locals want to come off as educated or knowledgeable about English, but oftentimes they’re too lazy about getting the writing done right. As a result, this fine fellow here is encouraging everyone to defecate in their hands. While this may not be the thing most of us do when in a good mood, there is much to ponder about this cryptic writing…

Just a heads-up

Farts are sometimes worse than nuclear bombs, mostly because they appear as silent killers with an intent to prevent us from breathing ever again. This lady has taken it upon herself to let us know how much beans she ate yesterday and that there is a real possibility that she will gas the room on short notice. And there is even a loading bar allowing you to make a run for it before the counter reaches 100%.

Don’t bother

It’s always nice to run into an honest person, especially when it comes to alcohol. Most people play nice and try to convince us they’re angels all the time, but when that tequila gets poured, all hell breaks loose. This lady here was nice enough to let everyone know that she’s out of our league, but she’s also down for whatever when she gets smashed due to a cheap spirit in a bar somewhere in the Midwest — both confident and open for adventure. Nice!

Life pro tips?

Ah, good old ethanol. We often get a little too tipsy and end up mistaking the local jock or ugly girl from high school for Antonio Banderas or Heidi Klum in the process. However, some people are aware that alcohol is the only way they will ever be attractive to others and have taken advantage of it. This particular guy put his strategy on a T-shirt, and by the small amount of beer in the jug, it’s working!

Now we get it

In most cases, we would be weirded out by the sight of an older gentleman wearing a neon pink shirt in the middle of the day, but he was kind enough to explain it and prevent us from cracking a joke at his expense. He actually had sexual relationships with our significant other but was prevented from taking his own shirt, so he borrowed hers. And why would our girlfriend wear a sign that is so meta? Does anything even make sense anymore?

Epic fails for everyone

OK, we get that people often struggle while learning English as a second language, but there is a line to be drawn. When someone steps over it, we can safely enter them in some kind of competition for fails per sentence. If there were such a competition, this would be the undisputed champion. Hamberger? Eat a him? Why is friendship involved? Why are there French fries there? There is too much to think about.

Failing geography

It’s OK to say we’re not talented in a certain field of life. Some of us find all the equations in math class to be just too much. Others will say that English classes and all the literature make them puke. However, there is one subject that nobody should fail and we should all pay attention to: geography. Because it must be so hard to remember that the thing with a pointy horn in the Eastern part is actually the motherland of all humans…

No, no, no

We’re sure Minnie wasn’t a fan of this shirt and this guy’s Disneyland trip didn’t go quite as planned. If you didn’t know, deadmau5 (pronounced “dead mouse”) is an electronic music DJ from Canada who has a logo so similar to that of Mickey Mouse that he even got sued by Disney. Nevertheless, one of his fans chose to wear a T-shirt at the wrong time and in the wrong place, making for a funny situation.

Afternoon philosophy

There is so much about this T-shirt that we would love to dissect. Could this be a corporate scam for us to buy some new product? Or is it a clever saying that states that the less we think, the more stupid things we do? We can’t be sure just yet. It can also be a piece of advice to lead a carefree life. Thinking too much can often be burdensome, and being stupid can more often lead to awesome things in life. We’re not yet sure how this works…

At the supermarket

This shopper is so comfortable in the store that she disrobes and is going to be trying on those clothes off the rack.  Not sure about the fashion sense darling…..those undies need to be retired. Perhaps the orange would go better with your hair!

Pin the paper

There’s a battle going on in the cereal aisle between the Rice Krispies and the Froot Loops and innocent shoppers are being targeted with paper posters being stuck on their backs. This sign means back off buster I’m in charge here.  Beware going down this aisle you too may be papered.

Straight to the point

Some people just don’t have time for nonsense and they let you know it straight away.  As there are many visually impaired people in shopping aisles this customer decided to wear a luminous vest just to make sure you did not bump into her. Wonder what she has on her number plate?

Menopause mania

For those women going through menopause and hot flushes, do we even need to explain what this lady was doing? Not sure that climbing into the meat shelf and covering your hot body was quite the right thing to do……..but if you’re menopausal you can understand this.

Thriller and a thong!

It would appear that Michael Jackson has risen from the dead and decided to shop at Walmart.  What really fascinates me about these shoppers is not that he looks a lot like Michael but what is his companion wear. It looks like she decided to wear her grandma’s tea tray cloth.

The joker isle

No matter how old you get, you should never grow too old to be silly. It may not exactly reflect what’s going on here – Jesus knows what’s going on here – but what can be attested to is that it’s never too early to enjoy Halloween. It looks like a classic case of being too comfortable to get out of. It’s not a sight you get to see every day, so might as well enjoy the wild Walmart circus while it’s still in town.

Has anyone seen grandma-pa?

Society has grown a lot more accepting of people dressing the hell the way they want without attracting too much attention, but… At some point, we just have to stop all we’re doing look all around you and admire the kind of beauty life has to offer. Not this guy, though. He looks like he’s had a rough week at the theater trying to audition for a role as Red Little Riding Hood without any luck.

Open toe sneakers

Which designers, exactly? It’s impossible to say, but literally, everything is wrong with this picture. At least they look like they are properly ventilated, but beyond that, she’s (he’s?) broken the cardinal rule of never wearing open shoes with socks. Speaking of socks, what kind of socks is she wearing that cut off right at the front of the toes? Whatever she’s on, a whole lot of us out here might appreciate every Monday morning.

The blueberry fetish

Of all the odd things the internet has ever exposed us to, blueberry fetish has to be one of the most insanely odd things you will ever see (apart from furries, of course). It’s hard to tell if she was going for that since everything seems in order to be in that train of weirdness of she was going to pull off a Smurf costume. Truth be told there’s not much of difference between the two, and we’re just as baffled as you are.

The Invasion of Normandy, circa 1944

Have you ever looked at a picture and felt both pitiful and laughing at the top of your lungs at the same time? If you’re a resident of the United States, this shouldn’t be too odd, since you see it every other day (or are one of these guys). The rest of the world is pretty worried about the obscene rates of obesity over there, though. On the flip side, it does take quite some practice to ride those things (or so we’re told), so kudos to them.

Monkeying around

Kids can be quite a handful. If you’ve ever witnessed one of those three-year-olds throwing a tantrum in the middle of the store, you’ll likely put off any desire for kids for a few years. In fact, to hell with kids! Monkeys are the easiest animal to adopt, and all they do is eat bananas and hang around all day, so why not get one for yourself? Just look how calm, relaxed, old, and worryingly sick-looking that one is.

Gender fluidity!

You’ll often be told never to be afraid to be yourself. It’s a piece of advice you shouldn’t take lightly, especially when it comes to selecting your pieces of clothing. On one hand, you want the ladies to know you shoot straight, so you don’t have time for chit-chat. On the other hand, you’ve got to let everyone know you’re still in touch with your feminine side: a G-string and t-shirt like that is the perfect way to kill, well, two birds with two stones.

Miracles happen

Apparently, miracles happen in the canned goods aisle.  This lady and insisted on taking a handicapped cart and ambled up and down the aisles reaching for the goods she needed. Then she landed in the canned goods aisle and was struck by a miracle…………she stood up and reached that elusive can of beans on the top shelf.

Give today

This man took it literally. He had seen this sign in the store the day before. Went home and shaved all his hair off but somehow managed to keep that bit at the back.  Not too sure why? Perhaps he is saving it for the “donate a tail” poster.

Threes company!

Imagine 3 toddlers in a trolley on a sugar high and throwing a triplet tantrum. Well, they may have been easier on the ear than these 3 furbie, who insisted on howling every time someone made an announcement over the PA system. You should have heard them on …..Clean up on aisle 3!

The tail end of the hair!

Holy hairy dreadlock smokes! We’ve heard on long dreads and we may have seen a few in our stores, but this guy takes the hairy tale award for sure.  How many decades of growing did this take?  Wonder how he washes and dries it?

Turtles tag along

Is it any wonder that this turtle is heading off in a different direction to its human Mom, the woman is in camouflage for heaven’s sake, and he can’t see her? I guess he is off to the turtle wax special in aisle 5.

Sumo wrestling time

Its official; there are miniature sumo wrestlers hiding under this shoppers clothes. Then they went left and then they went right. One thing is for sure there’s a lot of wrestling going on under those grey layers. The ones on the right are trying to bag the ones on the left.

Fast lane ferret

Not sure which fascinated shoppers more? The ferret or the interesting pot shape hairstyle of the cart driver doing his shopping.  Either way, this duo turned heads in all the aisles. Could have either been the hooting of the cart of the squeaking of the ferret.

Bugged leg warmer

Leg warmers were the rage in the eighties. Today it’s a somewhat different trend. Apparently, the new fashion statement is to wear a single bug leg warmer when you shop. Make sure it’s worn exclusively on the right leg and please don’t forget to accessorize with a gold bow.

Facing up to it

We have all had those days. You busy and you have half an hour to spare so you decide to give yourself a face mask treatment, but then you realize you forgot to go to the store. No problem, just pop out for a bit and get what you need. Seriously no one will notice the mask.

A family affair

There’s always a great bond between dad and daughter. But this may be taking it too far. Skinny jeans are in and dad wants to be cool. Drat no skinny jeans in the closet. Not to worry will wear my 1970’s shorts and my wife’s tights. No one will notice they’re not skinny jeans.

Shorts for the over 30’s

You still want to be cool and dress like a teenager. Problem is you don’t look so good in shorts. It’s too hot to wear long jeans so you remove the bits between the butt and the knees in the back to keep you cool.  Easy!

Superhero

We all need a super hero in our lives. I just love it when Captain America comes to my local Walmart. He’s a bit shorter than I imagined and may have to cut out those donuts. Wish I was closer so I could see what music he ways buys. Perhaps it was Bonnie Tyler’s I need a hero.

Four men and a streaking shopper

It was hot, really hot on this day. This shopper was just strolling along the aisles and disrobing to cool down. Little did he know that today was store securities day to clean the store floors.  Nowhere did it say you have to use a mop……a shopper will do!

Wedding shopping

Even on special occasions the shoppers never miss a chance to pop into their local Walmart.  They had just got married and take a few pictures and then popped into the store to print them out. Loving the shoes! They say comfortable is the new wedding style.

Girl in a bubble

Hello! Do you know your child has a plastic bag over her head?  Whilst we may be enjoying the silence of the kid who just two minutes ago was throwing a tantrum this is just not right. Keep your eyes on the kid mom and less on the specials ahead.

Getting festive

We all love the holidays, especially Easter time. Some people however go a bit overboard. Like this Easter egg tree – oh wait man.  Colourful and entertaining for the kids in store. But I’m not sure if I would let my child reach for an egg.

Honesty is the best policy

This is a smart chap. He is guaranteed to not have people queuing around him or bumping into him whilst shopping. He has stated the facts and told you he has farted. The question is do you want to join his queue? Only problem for him is that he will have to walk backwards.

Record holders

You are always guaranteed to run into someone at Walmart that you know. Remember this woman?  Well, she has the longest nails in the world and is in the Guinness Book of Records.  Next time you in the store and the kids are running up and down the aisles just call on this lady, she will scare the silence into them.

There are warning signs!

Puppies, kittens, and babies always attract attention. This shopper has had enough of people coming up and touching her baby. Now she goes prepared to the store with a warning label on her babies carry cot.  Do Not Touch the Baby!

Raggerty Fashion

There are frayed jeans, there are skinny jeans and then there are regular jeans.  Who knew that Edward Scissor Hands had come out with a range?  They are certainly airy and well ventilate both in the front and the back.  Good thing it was not a G-string he got hold of.

I see you

Forward thinkers always have an eye on the back of their heads. It allows them to see both ahead and behind of them simultaneously OR was this left over temporary tattoo from a party he went to and just forgot to wash off. Either way, he’s watching you!

Mom and Dad we need to talk

I cannot believe you are wasting time and money again at these machines. We do this every week guys and you never win anything. You just keep feeding coins into the machine and get nothing back and you tell me I don’t listen!

It just exploded

Seriously man I just picked it up and then it exploded gold fairy dust all over me. Look even my money is covered in this dust. Do you think its aliens from Goltopia that were hiding behind the packs and as I touched it they just jumped out, like seriously dude.

Going backwards and forwards simultaneously

It was just one of those manic Mondays. The alarm did not go off. The milk was sour and there was no coffee. Then the power went out and I just grabbed some stuff and put it on and ran down to the store. Or was I just leaving the store?

What do you mean?

Lady I don’t know where you come from, but where I come from its normal to wear a Velcro white band around your head. What happens if you need to carry other stuff with Velcro on it? You just stick it to your head and keep your hands free.

Cute ass in camo

Man does she look good.  Nice behind and great arms. Her look is kind of a sexy on her. It’s such a pity that her boyfriend next to her is dressed like her. Seriously what kind of guy dresses like his girlfriend and then goes out in public

This sucks!

There they were just minding their own business when from behind the orange juice two toilet plunges leapt out and attached themselves to her back. They were so fast she did not even notice. Clearly, they also had teammates in the detergent aisle. The guy that was struck in the head thought it was cool though.

Long-legged lass or lad?

When you least expect it they appear behind you at the till point. They slink up silently in 8-inch heels wearing glitter bags, glasses, and head wraps. But fear, not they mean you no harm. They are just the friendly Leaning over you Angels.

I almost made it

Shopping is hard work and requires stamina and mental agility. If you have not kept in shape and loaded up with vitamins then taking a nap may be required just before you reach the cash point in a store. It’s a real struggle you know.

Sneezing may lead to cross dressing

I really don’t know what happened here. I suspect he may have sneezed and in the process his pants fell down around his ankles and a dress off the ladies rack just put itself on him. What other explanation could there be?

Roller-coaster derby day

I told grandma to meet me at the store and remember to bring the roller coaster derby tickets. I arrived and saw her waiting for me looking like this. Needless to say, I hid behind the display boy and took this picture. I sent her a text and said meet me outside in 5.

Take a load off mom!

We always see parents pushing their kids in the shopping trollies. I love this ladies style. She got her kids to push her around. Wonder if she also threw a tantrum in the toy aisle? Also wonder where she put all the groceries she shopped for?

Romantic angels

Just because it’s not Valentine’s Day does not mean that you can’t wear your cupid outfit and heart-shaped shades to the store.  Love is all around us and you could see your true love at the store and then you will be ready to shoot her with cupid’s suction arrows.

Pink tight Tuesday James?

It takes all types to make us smile. From a distance, he dressed like James Bond until I looked down and realized that is was actually Tinkerbell in pink tights and not James Bond in the queue in front of me. I think I would prefer mine shaken and not stirred sir!

Its nap time

When toddlers and puppies fall asleep just leave them alone. Even if it’s on the checkout counter and whatever you do please do not use the PA system to call for a price check or clean up on the fresh produce aisle. Just let them sleep.

Gotta have that designer label

Fashion conscious and designer label branded…………even if it’s a handmade one.  We all want to have those fashion iconic brands and if you can’t have them then I say create your own.  All this took was a black market and a white sticker to bring this chick happiness.

Heads Up

In the mark down bins you can find all sorts of wonderful things. This family traded in their heads for fancy furry heads.  Nothing like getting a head start on the “mark down” aisle I say. Wonder is they then went a pouncing around the store or stalked a shopper or two?

It’s a tale

Tired of hiding your true self? No worries. Put on your tale and start your day. Buts first let’s pop into the nearest Walmart and pick up something to eat before we head off to work.  Perhaps he is the chief Tale teller at the hounds store n more!

Reptilian hairpin

Every generation seems to have its own unique defining hairstyle. The early 50s had those strange moustaches, and the late 90s had punk pop all over. We’ve been through scrunches, Alice bands, clips, hair nets, and twists, but this one seems completely new. Maybe she’s just ahead of her time, or maybe fashion has taken a turn nobody had ever expected it to. You must give her the props she deserves, though, that lizard looks more dapper than 90% of us.

Crispy tan

This one presents a unique take on the whole ‘wear sunscreen’ vs. ‘go to hell, I’m a rebel. I don’t wear sunscreen.’ The side by side and top-bottom comparison should tell you all you need to know without getting too far into it. In her defense, though, getting an umbrella is definitely a good idea. All she has to do now is work on her timing. Again, the boxer-short bikini top choice is pretty brave. Well done.

Creative and classy!

Back in the mid-1900s, there used to be a popular line of fashion known as zoot suits – which consisted of suits that were pretty… odd, at least by today’s standards. If you followed Tom and Jerry back in the day, you couldn’t miss it. This guy seems to have taken that concept from the eyes of a toddler, twisted it with a sick sense of terrible creativity and spat it out in the form of clothing. This kind of sighting demands to bleach the eyes and a complete memory wipe after.

It’s carnival time

Yes, it’s that time of year when you dress in your fancy carnival threads and head down to the store. But don’t forget your layers of eyeliner and silver glitter on your lids and if you can you should just pump up your chest to the over pressurized size!