And he was miserable.
“My goal of 1 million seems so far away,” he wrote. “Waiting every two weeks for a couple grand is so slow… It’s such a slow grind.”
That, right there, is the entire problem. The single biggest obstacle to building wealth isn’t a lack of information. It’s not about finding the “perfect” stock or a secret strategy. The real barrier is psychological. It’s the agonizing, fingernail-biting impatience of the “long middle.”
We’ve done the math. We know the plan works. But we’re wired for now, and the “slow and safe” path feels bad for a very long time. It feels like you’re losing, even when you’re winning. And that feeling is precisely why so many people get tempted by the financial equivalent of dynamite.
The Seduction of Financial Dynamite
The “slow grind” is hard because we are constantly, constantly bombarded with stories of the “fast” path. We see the 22-year-old crypto millionaire, the day-trader who “timed the market,” or the person who yolo’d their savings into a meme stock and paid off their house.
The promoters of these “get rich quick” schemes promise “minimal input for maximum output”. And the media amplifies the few who succeed, making us believe that “hitting it big is extremely common”. It’s a carefully curated illusion.
I saw this firsthand with a friend’s cousin during the pandemic lockdown. He started “day-trading” with his stimulus check. At first, he made some “decent gains”. Of course he did—the entire market was going up. But then he had one magical day. He made a 6% profit in a single afternoon on a risky bet. He admitted later it was a total “fluke,” but it didn’t matter. The hook was set.
He got addicted.
He started trading with emotion, not logic. The next day, he lost three times what he had gained, trying to chase that high. He got wiped out.
This isn’t just a one-off story. Look at the meme stock craze of 2021. It was a fascinating, compelling “David vs. Goliath” narrative. It wasn’t about fundamentals; it was about “social coordination”. It felt like a revolution. But when the dust settled, the math was brutal.
Here’s the part they don’t tell you online. The core premise of the “fast” path—that high risk and high volatility lead to high returns—is, for most people, a statistical lie.
An academic study titled “When Investing in Stocks, Is Boring Better?” looked at data from 1994 to 2024. It sorted stocks into ten groups based on volatility. What it found should be carved into the wall of every new investor’s office.
- The lowest-volatility portfolios—the “boring” stocks—didn’t just survive; they thrived. They produced the highest risk-adjusted returns (Sharpe Ratio) and delivered a total return of $2,473%.
- The highest-volatility portfolios—the “lotto tickets,” the meme stocks, the dynamite—were a catastrophe. They had the worst risk-adjusted returns and, over the 30-year period, produced a total return of… negative 46.4%.
Read that again. The “get rich quick” path didn’t just underperform. It wasn’t just riskier. It was, over the long term, a losing game.
“Boring” isn’t just safer. It’s more profitable. The slow path wins.
The Two Leaks That Sink the Ship: One Fast, One Slow
Okay, so we’re convinced. We’re on the slow path. We’re grinding. The real threat to our wealth, then, isn’t a market crash. The real threat is us. Building wealth isn’t just about accumulation; it’s about retention. And most people fail at retention because of two “leaks” that sabotage their own plans.
The Fast Leak: The Windfall Catastrophe
The first leak is a sudden, high-pressure gusher. It happens when money arrives too quickly—an inheritance, a big bonus, or selling a company.
I’m haunted by a story I read from a person who received a $250,000 inheritance at age 25. They had zero financial education. “No one ever taught me a thing about money,” they said.
Within a couple of years, the entire $250,000 was gone.
But here’s the crucial part: they didn’t blow it on fast cars or extravagant vacations. The money vanished because of a series of psychological traps. The person admitted to “thinking the money would last a long time” (naïveté) and, most poignantly, “guilt at having so much”.
This guilt led to “over-generosity.” They spent a fortune on medical aid for friends, financed a family member’s adoption, and “funneled absurd amounts into charitable works”.
This is a profoundly human and tragic story. They didn’t lose the money because they were a bad person; they lost it because they were a good person who was emotionally unprepared for the psychological weight of money.
As another observer of a similar situation noted, “Most people don’t lose money because they’re bad with it. They lose it because they’re not ready for what it changes in them”.
The Slow Leak: Lifestyle Creep
This leak is more common, more insidious, and much harder to spot. It’s not a gusher; it’s a slow, steady drip.
Lifestyle creep is the natural tendency to let your spending rise in lockstep with your income.
I know a real estate agent who says the most “shocking” thing he sees is the number of people who, in the middle of a 30-day mortgage application, go out and buy a brand-new car on finance, blowing up their debt-to-income ratio and killing the entire home purchase. That’s lifestyle creep in its most dramatic, idiotic form.
But for most of us, it’s quieter. A high-earning individual on a forum perfectly described the moment he noticed it: “I found we started eating super noodles rather that koka noodles”.
That’s it. That’s the entire battle.
It’s the daily-driver car that turns into a luxury lease. It’s the “I deserve this” rationalization. It’s the treat that becomes a habit, which then becomes a baseline expectation. Before you know it, you’re making $150,000 a year but are just as broke as you were at $70,000, leaving you with the same “anxiety of the grind” as our 31-year-old friend, but with nothing to show for it.
The person on the “slow and safe” path has a hidden superpower: their habits, identity, and emotional maturity are forced to grow at the same pace as their net worth. The windfall and the rapid salary jump are dangerous for the same reason: the money arrives before the discipline to manage it.
The only antidote to this is to “Pay Yourself First”. This isn’t just a folksy proverb; it’s a non-negotiable, mechanical rule. The instant you get a raise or a bonus, before you even think about super noodles, you automate it. You go into your payroll portal and increase your 401(k) contribution by 1%. You set up an automatic transfer for half of that new raise to go directly into your investment account. You make sure that “future you” gets paid before “present you” even knows that money is there.
Building the “Boring” Machine
So, how do we actually do this? We build a machine. A boring, automated, wealth-building machine designed to do one thing: protect us from our own worst instincts—our impatience, our greed, and our fear.
The beautiful part is that this machine is incredibly simple. You don’t need to be a finance whiz. It’s not about complex math; it’s about discipline and automation.
The machine itself is what finance nerds call a “Lazy Portfolio” or a “Three-Fund Portfolio”. It’s the “Boglehead Favorite” (named after Vanguard founder Jack Bogle).
It’s just three funds. That’s it.
- A U.S. Total Stock Market Index Fund (like Vanguard’s VTSAX / VTSMX)
- An International Total Stock Market Index Fund (like Vanguard’s VGTSX)
- A Total Bond Market Index Fund (like Vanguard’s VBTLX)
You can debate the exact percentages (a common split is something like 42% U.S., 18% International, 40% Bonds), but the principle is what matters. JL Collins, the “Godfather” of the Financial Independence movement, famously argues you only need the first one (VTSAX).
Simplicity is an advanced strategy, not a basic one.
Once the machine is built and your paychecks are automatically funding it, there are only two operating instructions. And they are wonderfully counter-intuitive.
Rule 1: Do Nothing.
Your instincts will scream at you to tinker. When the market crashes, you’ll want to sell. When a new technology is hot, you’ll want to buy. You must resist. As the legendary investor Peter Lynch said, “Far more money has been lost by investors in preparing for corrections… than has been lost in the corrections themselves”. If you feel the itch, perform an “inertia analysis”: pull up your trading history for the last year. Now, calculate what your returns would have been if you had done absolutely nothing. I’ll bet “nothing” wins.
Rule 2: “Cope Ahead.”
This is a brilliant behavioral trick. You know you will fall victim to greed and fear, so you set up automatic rules to “cope ahead.” Right now, people are hoarding cash in high-yield savings accounts to get a “risk-free” 5%. They get addicted to watching that cash balance grow. A “cope ahead” rule is to set a “cash ceiling.” You decide, “My emergency fund is $50,000.” The moment your cash accounts (from bonuses, savings, etc.) tip over that number, the excess is automatically swept into your “Boring Machine” investment account. This makes the correct decision for you, removing your flawed, emotional brain from the equation.
A Truly Uncommon Idea: Maybe Don’t Buy the House?
This is the part where I might lose some of you. But if we’re talking about uncommon tips for building wealth safely, we have to challenge the biggest sacred cow in personal finance: homeownership.
We are all fed the line: “Paying rent is just throwing money down the drain”.
This is, forgive my bluntness, nonsense. You need a place to live. That always costs money, whether it’s rent to a landlord or interest, property taxes, maintenance, and insurance to a bank and the government.
“But,” the argument goes, “homeowners have a net worth 40 times that of renters!”. This is true. It is also a perfect example of confusing correlation with causation. As financial expert Ben Felix has pointed out, it’s not that “home ownership is the causal factor in making people wealthy.” It’s that “wealthier people can afford to own homes”.
Homeownership is, at its best, a “forced discipline”. It forces you to build equity. But renting, for a disciplined individual, can be a far more powerful wealth-building tool.
Let’s do the math. As a renter, you have:
- No multi-thousand-dollar repair bills.
- No property taxes.
- No high transaction costs (realtor fees, closing costs).
- Total flexibility and mobility to move for a better job.
The “disciplined renter” takes all that money—the down payment they didn’t make, the monthly difference saved on taxes and maintenance—and plows it directly into their “Boring Machine.”
This isn’t just theory. An analysis titled “Renting is Usually a Better Investment than Buying” compared a buyer to a renter who put their capital into a 100% stock portfolio. The result? The renter’s wealth out-accumulated the buyer’s in 223 out of the 270 30-year periods analyzed.
The debate isn’t “rent vs. mortgage.” It’s “liquidity vs. liability”. A home is a single, leveraged, illiquid asset in one neighborhood. A stock portfolio is diversified, liquid, and has historically high growth.
Choosing to rent is not a financial failure. It can be a deliberate, strategic, and smarter way to build wealth.
When the Cure Becomes the Sickness
I want to end on a warning. The “slow and safe” path works. But it has a dark side.
There’s a haunting story of a man who was well-paid, debt-free, and a perfect saver. He maxed his accounts, took his own lunch, obsessed over every pound. He sadly took his own life. A reflection on his story posed the question: “is seeking FI just another form of obsession that can become just as damaging psychologically?”.
This path requires discipline, frugality, and a “scarcity mindset.” You build this psychological armor to survive the “slow grind.” But what happens when you win? What happens when you get the money?
Can you take the armor off?
There’s a man on a forum, in his early 40s. He has $2.3 million</b> in index funds. He earns $300,000 a year. He has two years of living expenses in cash. He won. He is financially independent.
He is also, in his own words, “ready to have mental breakdown”. He is “shaking constantly” and “can barely get out of bed.”
His $2.3 million fortune was built on fear—the fear his small business would fold. It was built on resentment—of his wife, who he felt “abandoned” him to work 50+ hour weeks while she “enjoyed ‘early retirement'”. He “works 24/7 in his head” and “can’t just let go”.
The very “scarcity mindset” and “OCD tendencies” that built his $2.3 million fortune are now destroying his sanity. He won the game, but he never learned how to stop playing. He’s a prisoner of the very habits that made him rich.
This article started with a 31-year-old man who is miserable because he doesn’t have $1 million. It ends with a 40-year-old man who is miserable because he does have $2.3 million.
The money was never the point.
The ultimate, and final, step in building wealth slowly and safely is the hardest one: learning that the goal isn’t to hit a number. The goal is to buy your freedom. But freedom is a psychological state, not just a financial one. You have to be able to shed the scarcity mindset that no longer serves you. You have to know what you’re retiring to, not just what you’re retiring from. The whole point of the grind is to one day be able to stop grinding.
