Top 10 benefits of global warming, too good a plan the burning planet
No need to be climate-skeptical to see all the benefits of global warming that we are currently experiencing and which looks set to cause quite a mess in the decades to come.
1. We will finally be able to sort out our clothes
Because the autumn-winter collections are very nice, but they take up a lot of space in our closets when in reality, what do we use them for? 2 months to break everything? Thanks to global warming, no more bulky down jackets and sweaters than really warm, make way for tank tops, shorts and other summer outfits. GREAT NO?
2. No need to drive for hours to go to the seaside
With the rising waters and the submersion of the coasts, the sea and the ocean have never been so close to home. It’s a bit like finding a job, all you have to do is cross the street to get your feet in the water! Good news, therefore, especially for all weekend lovers of laying around on the sand, lulled by the soft sound of the waves and the sweet melodies escaping from the connected speakers of your towel neighbours. GREAT NEWS, NO?
3. No more endless queues at the bottom of the ski lifts
Good news if you were hesitating between winter holidays in the snow or at the sea… thanks to global warming, ski resorts will soon become resorts. You might as well go to the sea, at least you won’t have to wait in line to take a crowded chairlift after paying for a pass worthy of a Paris-New York flight in business class. In addition, at sea, it’s still much more practical when you have a pressing desire without having to fight to take off your ski suit! GREAT NO?
4. We will finally be able to save on heating
Rising temperatures should logically cause our heating costs to plummet! On the other hand, air conditioning level, it could cost us candy if we want to survive the heat waves that will hit the country from February to the end of November. ENJOYING, NO?
5. We can swim from March in Brittany
In 2050, if all goes as planned, Brittany will become the new French Riviera with average summer temperatures of 32 degrees, when the rest of the country will suffocate under the effects of the heat wave. Enough to attract a continuous stream of climate refugees who come there as soon as the fine weather begins, roughly speaking as early as February/March, to cool off in waters over 20 degrees! EXCITING, NO?
6. We will once again be able to consume oil and gas like moguls
Energy sobriety is aptly named: behind the moral obligation, in truth, it pisses everyone off. But good news! The melting of the polar cap should open access to the mineral and energy wealth of the Arctic Ocean. New deposits of precious metals, gas and oil could thus be exploited, and allow us to accelerate global warming once and for all! Ideal to finish as soon as possible. PLEASANT NO?
7. We’ll catch fewer colds because of the cold.
No more runny nose, itchy throat and cracks on the face because of the cold! Thanks to global warming, winter and its traumas will only be distant memories for our body, finally rid of all these nasty viruses. JUBILATORY NO?
8. There will be no more climate skeptics on Earth
Faced with the reality of sub-Saharan temperatures, repeated droughts and other celebrations linked to global warming, we can without taking too many risks hope for the extinction of the species of climate skeptics which has been developing for several decades in most Western countries. And that, casually, it’s going to do a lot of good! Good after there will be no more humans at all but hey listen you have to see the glass half full. EXTRAORDINARY NO?
9. We will no longer have to talk about the weather with our neighbors
“We’re lucky, the weather is nice today, huh? “, “Well yes, a bit like every day in fact! “, ” It is not false. Have a nice day, see you next time…”…
10. We will have no choice but to change our lifestyles
In reality, the biggest advantage of global warming is that once we understand what shit we’ve gotten ourselves into, we’ll be forced to adapt, even if it means reformatting the software of our lifestyles. Transport, food, energy, housing, we will have to review everything and assume what we could and should have done decades earlier. Because as our mothers used to say when we were little: “you should never put off until tomorrow what you can do today”! YAY.