Movies are like life, sometimes you see completely stupid characters and other times completely respectable people. But if stupidity is not a sign of incompetence, we can look into the case of people who suffer from this second curse, and believe it, some movie characters are even more useless at their job than your colleague the more inefficient.
1. Vincent Vega in “Pulp Fiction”
Ok, to sum up what happens over two days with this hitman / bodyguard: he does not check the only room of an apartment when he arrives and almost gets killed, he accidentally kills a guy who ‘he’s interrogating, he gets into trouble at a drive-in instead of keeping his mouth shut, his boss’s wife he has to watch overdoses, his boss gets kidnapped and abused by a crazy cop and in the end he gets hit by a guy while he was shitting in his apartment. Worst employee.
2. James Bond in almost every “James Bond” movie
When you’re a secret agent you have to have a cover and be relatively discreet, the watchword is “don’t make waves”. Not only does James Bond get captured by almost every villain that crosses his path, but he’s also as discreet as a drunk student trying to get home quietly to his parents. He races, blows up countless things, kills people, gives everyone his real name, and leaves an arm’s length damage and repair note as he leaves every town he passes through. .
3. Harry and Marv in “Mama I Missed the Plane”
When we are two adult professional burglars and we fall into absolutely all the traps of an eight-year-old kid all alone in his house, it means that we are as efficient in his work as a koala under tranquilizer in the cabin piloting an airplane. These two big morons get fooled by every little trap and never manage to get rid of the kid, enough to think about another career because they really aren’t made for it.
4. Tony Stark in several “Marvel” films
The guy is a billionaire/inventor/superhero. The problem is that he uses his billions to invent stuff that will fuck up and have to fight against his own creations. He is basically his own sworn enemy. He invents a super-intelligent AI named Ultron who turns against the Avengers and fucks shit up, his equipment is used by the villains of a Spider-Man movie and he even tries to get the Avengers to sign some bad deals that make them fuck each other on the face between them in Civil War. No need man.
5. John Hammond dans “Jurassic Park”
The old gentleman behind the park quickly realizes that his plan to recreate dinosaurs and play God is completely screwed up. But the worst thing is that after the events of the first park and the large number of deaths, this old psycho decides to create a nature reserve on another island by giving even more freedom to the dinosaurs. Worst corporate director in all history, that old asshole.
6. Dewey in the “Scream” saga.
We talked about him with the worst film cops because it’s very serious. The guy has been there since the very first film, he’s always on the scene whenever there’s a crime and he’s never done to catch the killer once when he’s seen them all. Other than getting stabbed more times than there are shutters in the saga, he’s no good and what’s worse is that his buddies still consider him a super badass protector.
7. Doctor Goldthwait Higginson Dorr in “LadyKillers”
Ok so this man is at the head of a group of criminals that he hired himself to dig a tunnel between the cellar of an old lady and the cash reserve of a casino. He made the plan, assessed every recruit and hired every one of them, and absolutely everything went down the drain. Kind to the point that everyone is dying one by one in front of a poor helpless old lady. Clearly the worst robber in history.
8. All the villains from the “X-Men” movies
Every movie villain X-Men has exactly the same plan: choose a super strong mutant and exploit him against his will while increasing his powers tenfold. How’s it going ? Super bad, every time. Wolverine, Jason, Phoenix, Malicia, Mystique… Each time it goes completely nuts and no one learns from this stupid mistake.
9. The team of 300 geniuses who must solve the puzzles in “Ready Player One”
To get the famous key you have to solve three stupid puzzles. Everyone’s been looking for 15 years but no one has thought to drive in reverse during the famous race? And then five teenagers manage to solve the two different puzzles in two days while a team of 300 video game experts work day and night on the same stupid puzzles? Fire these people, they are clearly useless to the company.
10. The “Star Trek” Doctor
The notorious “enterprise” crew doctor realizes that the villain Khan’s “genetically advanced blood” can save lives. So the whole crew is trying to get their hands on the notorious villain so they can use his blood, but Doctor McCoy doesn’t think for a second of using that of the other 72 people from Khan’s crew who are already on their ship all the time. fully anesthetized and therefore harmless. If this guy is as good a doctor as he lets on, I wouldn’t recommend going to him for a cold.