Top 10 dumbest news stories, champions of the week #384
Hello my grapefruits, how are you today? If ever, it’s not phew, we invite you to see the champions of the week, these unusual miscellaneous facts that we find in part thanks to Instagram.com/ajustetitre/?hl=fr” rel=”noopener” target=”_blank”>@Well NamedRobin Hood of the internets.
1. Forced to pay €600 for two mojitos and a dish, they denounce a tourist scam
Topito’s analysis: So yes, whatever the place at that price is obviously a rip off. Even if the mojitos and the food were good, it’s a bit overpriced. Personally, I’ll do all that for you for 300 bucks, mint supplement in the cocktail and everything.
2. A drug baron “died of covid” last year arrested in Hungary
Topito’s analysis: It’s nice because he had almost succeeded. Dying of covid for a drug baron was not super believable but it was okay, on the other hand there he did shit. Shame.
3. Presidential candidate in Colombia, he wants to distribute coke for free
Topito’s analysis: Fortunately for some and unfortunately for others he was not elected, but his program was not totally insane, if we distribute freebies it avoids enriching the cartels. Finally I say that but I have absolutely not studied the trick.
4. The gendarmes intervene after several fights at the snail festival
Topito’s analysis: So this story of a failed snail party can make you smile like that, but in reality it’s hot because it’s still a story of big assholes who prick other people with syringes, a real scourge of big bastards.
5. Quimper: in court for theft of beers, crisps and lollipops…
Topito’s analysis: The Quimper bigwig as he is called, the Breton Scarface who stops at no theft and no limits. But reality and the police have caught up with him, too bad for him but with this kind of loot we can say that he has lived life to the fullest by living at 100 km/h.
6. A couple put under sound surveillance because they are having too much sex
Topito’s analysis: Neighbors having sex while making too much noise is nice for two minutes, but it can quickly become boring. But to get to be under sound surveillance you really, really have to go there. Limit respect to the couple, it’s almost a performance.
7. A woman eaten by her 20 cats after feeling unwell
Topito’s analysis: It’s been said for a long time that these creatures are real filth that will stop at nothing to satisfy their insatiable appetite, and above all that they don’t give a damn about their masters to the point of eating them. But at the same time they are so cute.
8. Legislative: Alexandre Sabatou elected against Valérie Labatut in the 3rd district of Oise
Topito’s analysis: Frankly, there was a clue in the names of the candidates, right? Did it affect people psychologically, no idea, you’d have to study all that, but in any case there’s a winner’s name and a loser’s name, that’s enough to make the difference.
9. The students do not like her text in the baccalaureate, they will cyberharass the author
Topito’s analysis: The students are idiots these days, we have the right to find a difficult text but from there to yell at the author who didn’t ask for anything, it’s not great. We should give everyone 8/20 just to remind everyone of the basics of respect.
10. They drove without the headlights, the trunk full of stolen exhaust pipes.
Topito’s analysis: Every week we have the right to new information from people who are not very talented who still haven’t understood that when we are doing something illegal it is better to try to keep a low profile. But without them this section would not exist, I dedicate this top to them.
And while waiting for next week, I advise you to go see the teubés of the week, an affectionate rendezvous.