Top 10 dumbest news stories, champions of the week #404
Hi company, how are you doing today? We’re not bad, since it’s time for the champions of the week, these incredible and improbable miscellaneous facts that we find every week in part thanks to the work of this friendly Instagram.com/ajustetitre/?hl=fr” rel=”noopener” target=”_blank”>@Well Named. Without wasting any more time, we invite you to start this beautiful list of geniuses from the miscellaneous facts section that caught our attention.
1. An Orleans woman discovers by chance that she has been in a PACS for eight years without knowing it… with Spider-Man
Topito’s analysis: It could have been worse, because Spiderman is still nice, imagine it happening to you with Voldemort or worse, Brice Hortefeux. Fictional characters, of course, but nonetheless creepy.
2. The first motorway without toll barrier inaugurated in the Allier: “In the end, it takes longer”
Topito’s analysis: It was a bit stupid to make a big deal out of it if it was to take even longer than in the good days of the barriers. But hey, it’s not the first stupid change, remember when we limited certain roads to 80km/h before going back to 90km/h a few months later? That’s fucking wasted money.
3. In Lyon, the finance assistant takes courses… Finance
Topito’s analysis: Ouch. The tile, the bullshit, the wound… If it’s a good thing to want to take lessons to do your job well, it mainly raises the question of whether this person was the right choice for the job at the base. Probably not.
4. Bordeaux: she hits her husband with a bag of meat and ends up in police custody
Topito’s analysis: Yes because on the one hand violence never solves anything and it’s never a good idea to hit people but on top of that we don’t play with food. Doubly deserved this police custody.
5. Laura rents her husband for 46 euros an hour: “I didn’t expect it to work so much…”
Topito’s analysis: But what can her husband do for 46 euros an hour? Don’t worry, it’s very putaclic in reality, he does odd jobs in people’s homes like fixing things and mowing the lawn, otherwise it would be pimping and it’s illegal.
6. Midterms 2022 in the United States: Democrat Tony DeLuca re-elected… one month after his death
Topito’s analysis: The United States and the vote have always made two, but from there to forget to remove the papers to put in an envelope when the candidate has been dead for a month is very stupid. As much as vote for him elsewhere.
7. He invents a virtual reality headset that kills in real life
Topito’s analysis: Fortunately his invention will not be marketed but we still have someone who had the idea of inventing a helmet that actually kills people when they die in a video game. A truly crappy, twisted and creepy idea, probably like its inventor who should be watched more closely.
8. She says she speaks to angels and is going to marry a “shaman”: Norwegian princess Märtha Louise resigns
Topito’s analysis: In the end, giving up her duties to marry a shaman if it’s her love, she can have fun, but does the thing of talking to angels make anyone react? It’s never a good sign to hear voices and respond to them, it seems to me. Maybe we should help this person.
9. He picks up a pebble on the beach and slips it into his pocket: his jacket catches fire
Topito’s analysis: It’s a little more complex than that, because in fact the famous pebble wasn’t one at all, it was a piece of white phosphorus that dated from the war, and this damn thing is all on fire alone when it’s dry. The next time you see a pretty pebble think twice.
10. An American locks a packet of crisps in a sarcophagus, not to be opened for 10,000 years.
Topito’s analysis: It’s not necessarily to criticize the project, but if we can leave a trace of us to the people who will live on this Earth in 10,000 years (apart from a smashed planet) there may be better than a packet of crisps Nope ? A good game console? A Twilight DVD?
See you next week and until then take good care of yourself and eat apples.