Hello my little four-color pens! As Quentin has been away all week in Limoges to try to beat the record for the greatest number of porcelains worn with the head, I’m the one taking care of the teubés this week. And believe me, they haven’t been idle during that time. Come on, let’s get on with it right away, no time to lose, this is the factory.
1. “Having a son terrifies me. The odds of him growing up to be a rapist, serial killer, pedophile, jerk, are too high.”
“Or you can just believe in yourself and him and make sure you raise him to be a good person in this society.” »
2. “At 24, I’ve just been prescribed anti-depressants again.”
“One thing that really helps out of depression is getting out there and helping someone who can’t give it back to you, someone who is really in need. If you put your whole heart and soul into helping others, the depression will go away and you will be proud of yourself. »
3. Not very hair-wise
“I went to the hairdresser today.
– The hairdresser: And suddenly, what do you do for work?
– Me: I am a writer, and you?
– The hairdresser : …. Well… I’m a hairdresser.
We didn’t speak for the rest of my cut. I am happy to report that I may never interact with human beings again in my life. »
4. Climate skeptics never disappoint
“The climate change described by the media does not exist. In reality, we have four seasons and the climate changes four times a year. Don’t send your money to profiteers who rely on your stupidity to make a profit. »
5. “Spanish and Dutch are Europeans”
“- The Dutch, yes. The Spaniards, no.
– Spain is in Europe…
– Still false. Spain is in South America.
– Oh shit, okay man. »
6. “Why are Nintendo e-shop codes so long??”
“GUYS, MY CODE IS NOT WORKING!!! »
7. These kids are dumb
“The baby was screaming ‘Cookie, cookie!’ I brought him his toy which he named Cookie. He threw it on the ground. I gave him a real cookie. He threw it on the ground too. Then he walked over to his little sister, swiped a nugget from her plate, said ‘Cookie’ while holding it, and ate it. »
8. “If all you whiners think Christopher Columbus caused all this bullshit, just go back where you came from!”
“I love it when you tell people to go home when you try to defend someone who literally invaded someone else’s land and decided it was theirs.
9. “You call the Nazis an asshole. My grandfather, my grandmother, their family and their friends were all involved in this party. They are also the sweetest, most incredible people I have ever You just judge them on the generalization of a group.”
“I would love to introduce them to my grandparents, but they were gassed in concentration camps. But I’m sure they’re nice. »
10. “Person 1: They don’t look like twins to me.”
– Person 2: My twins don’t look alike either.
– Person 3: Not all twins are the same.
– Person 1: it’s just the principle of twins in fact, otherwise they are just brothers and sisters. »