Hello my little techie torches. So how is your life going in the metaverse for you? ah? Have you ever set foot there? Oh?? You have nothing to square? Ah, you mean you don’t give a fuck other than jerking off in this crappy virtual world? Ah well okay. The words are said. The terms are set. But you won’t prevent me from giving you jobs that already exist in this not really parallel world, because the future belongs to people who know how to use a virtual reality headset.
1. Translator
Obviously in all the clique of professions that have a future in the metaverse, it is certainly one of those who arrive at the head of the line. Not only can many performers telecommute, but the metaverse also offers them work as such (Source).
2. Advertising
If there is one profession that knows no borders, it is that of advertising. Already on the point to invade the moon, advertisers of course have an avenue ahead of them to conquer the metaverse. Will you take back a cup of sadness?
3. Architect
Obviously, what would the metaverse be without the architects? We already needed them Inception. In a space where there is everything to do, without the slightest constraint, an architecture firm got into the game of fully designing a city. Boah afterwards it’s their delirium huh. As long as they plan to help rebuild the ruins of Mariupol, I’m fine.
4. Doctors
A Rennes start-up (probably former repentant dog punks from Rennes 2) has developed the first hospital in the metaverse. Well in fact the idea is not totally stupid, it is above all a question of virtually reproducing the operation of a hospital with the aim of training young doctors. We just hope they’ve thought about making filthy hospitals with understaffed and underpaid nurses. (source)
5. High Fashion Stylist
Designing an unwearable outfit for an indecent price is no longer the privilege of the real-world rich. It is now possible to buy a high fashion dress in the metaverse.
What’s the point ? Ah well if you are against progress I can do nothing for you afterwards too.
6. Prostitute
Since the pandemic, virtual prostitution platforms have experienced a boom, as evidenced by the article. The metaverse would therefore become the new ideal place to sell its charms virtually. Does it make you dream?
7. Comedian
If you have never managed to break through despite your thousands of visits to Paris, it may be time for you to bet on the metaverse where the most elaborate forms of humor resemble a Linkedin post from a start-up CEO -up.
8. Terrorist
Wait wait… A space where you can change your identity, choose an avatar and communicate with the whole world could be used for illegal activities????
Welcome to the metaverse, a beautiful space with a future for traffickers of all kinds and terrorists.
9. A homeless man
Yeah ok it’s not a job. The character was created by the Entourage association to raise awareness among users. Well yes because if we all end up on the metaverse, that means we don’t go out in the street anymore and we don’t see people begging anymore and we let them die a little more with their mouths open. Really great this virtual world which finally deprives us of all the misery of the world. Very humanistic.
10. Cows
A really nice breeder tried a funny thing: put virtual reality helmets on his cows to make them believe that they are in a meadow. So yeah well ok it’s not really a job to be cow but it’s crazy to imagine that we use the metaverse to make them believe that they are not really in a tiny box without meadow or sun. The metaverse really takes cows for hams.