1. “One potato will be enough for me, thank you”
Far be it from us to force overconsumption, but a raclette with a single potato is like a football field with a single goal or a village with a single roundabout: it makes no sense.
2. “One skillet for three people? No problem, I love sharing, and it’s more convivial.”
Yes, raclette is conviviality. But no, sharing a skillet is not possible. The skillet must remain individual to ensure the well-being and satiety of all the guests. If the number of pans runs out, simply invest in a second raclette machine (or ask your friends to bring some, if they are good friends, they must have one at home).
3. “Have you finished all the salad already? Come on, I’ll make some more”
We have nothing against salad, but there are times in life when you have to recognize when things are not in their place. And the salad is as much in place at a raclette party as an eco-friendly in the private jet lounge or a rabbit in a pack of wolves.
4. “I’ll save the rest of the cheese for next time, okay?”
Let it be clear: the raclette is not finished until there is some cheese left. Anyway we always have a friend whose stomach is a kind of bottomless hole and who will never be against one or two (or ten) more slices of cheese.
5. “After we go for a little jog to eliminate all that?”
No, after that, we’ll just roll over to the couch to think about our life choices. “Was I right to make myself 12 pans of raclette tonight? », “Did my body need all that cheese? », “Am I proud to have busted my belly? »… The answer to these questions is always the same: of course yes.
6. “Nah, I don’t have a wooden spatula, who cares, scrape with your fork”
Oh dear unfortunate!!! The pan is scraped with a wooden spatula, everyone knows that. If you want your device to have a long life and be passed down from generation to generation, you have to pamper it and treat it with the respect it deserves. A striped skillet is a good skillet for retirement, so we’re not going with a fork.
7. “I’m still a little hungry, I’m going to order myself a burger”
Unless the person in charge of the errands made a shameful mistake, there was enough food to feed a regiment of 50 firefighters for 5 days. And tonight, around the table, there were only 8 of you. No one is hungry anymore, that’s obvious.
8. “It’s a bit chilly isn’t it?”
It is exactly 45 degrees in the room. Between the raclette machines that have been running at full speed for an hour, the 8 guests whose bodies work like a boiler fed with cheese, and the radiator that we forgot to turn off, the atmosphere is simply tropical. Nobody can be cold during a raclette evening.
9. “We should still make raclette candles, the smell of melted cheese is so pleasant when we get up in the morning”
Let’s be honest: even if the raclette is a divine dish, the smell it leaves behind is not the most appreciable when you wake up. We will therefore opt for an operation “opening the windows” followed by the technique of the “scented candle” after the evening, just to avoid living in regret.
10. “We do it again next year?”
No. We do it again every weekend, until the arrival of summer. And again, isn’t a little heat wave that will prevent us from eating melted cheese with friends anyway?