Top 10 reasons to hate tourists when you live by the sea
It seems that the most difficult thing when you live by the sea is the back season, when all the tourists have left and you find yourself alone, looking a little lost in the face of the emptiness and silence of the place. . A theory which in reality is nothing but a good big bullshit probably invented by city dwellers who are a little too navel-gazing. Because in truth, the worst period when you live on the coast coincides surprisingly (no) with the mass arrival of tourists with their share of hassles!
1. Neighbors who rent out their shack to big partygoers
Under the pretext of having paid a blind price for their villa for the week by contributing 12 for a house planned for 6, tourists allow themselves all the excesses… including noise! Besides, there is nothing worse than living next to a beautiful villa with a swimming pool. It’s the best way for it to turn into a party hut all summer long, with new tenants every week who will make your nights a hell of a sound.
2. Opportunistic price inflation
According to the capitalist equation that the more tourists there are, the more prices and profits increase, each year in July and August, the influx of visitors to the seaside is accompanied by price inflation worthy of the consequences of a 3rd World War. An unfair increase for year-round residents who would like not to have to suffer from this opportunistic increase in the cost of living. For example, we could set up a dual currency system like the one that coexisted in Cuba until 2021 and which allowed locals to pay for the same goods and services cheaper than tourists. Hasta la victoria siempre!
3. Being forced to leave your apartment to make room for seasonal rentals
Finding an apartment to rent year-round when you live by the sea often looks like an obstacle course carried out by an asthmatic. The owners prefer most of the time to rent their very expensive property by the week during the summer months. As a result, the tenants who live here in the region year-round find themselves on the street between May and October, all that so that tourists can find accommodation in peace… What a way to have it slightly bad!
4. Thefts and burglaries multiplied by 10
The arrival of tourists in the summer by the sea is a godsend for petty thefts that are rampant everywhere, whether at the beach, in restaurants, in the street, or even in apartments. Thieves are, like mosquitoes, a scourge of summer. Both are as boring as each other, with the difference that unlike mosquitoes, the burglar can rebel after someone tried to stick a horn on him.
5. Swimming pools that work at full speed with the sound of a refrigerator at the end of its life
They don’t look like that, but swimming pools are an endless source of trouble, especially for the peace of the neighborhood. To function properly, they need extremely noisy electrical systems both to filter the water and prevent it from rotating in contact with the air, but also to heat it to the desired temperature. This equipment often makes the noise of a fridge at the end of its life, or even when it is badly adjusted, of a trawler engine. And since the tourists don’t give a damn, the neighborhood neighbors just have to barricade themselves in their homes… or have a swimming pool installed!
6. Small planes flying over your house from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.
Good news, the advertising planes that flew over the beaches during the summer have been banned since 2022. Bad news, no law prohibits other small tourist planes from flying over the coast, even if it means pissing off all those who live below. The law is so well done that, except in the big cities, there are no regulations on air pollution caused by these budding pilots.
7. Queues everywhere, all the time
To feel good, the tourist has a physical need to feel surrounded or even jostled. Whether on the road, at the beach or at the supermarket checkout, queues reassure him. A place without anyone and it’s panic! The proof that we got lost again, or that the thing is so bad that no tourist guide has ever deigned to mention it.
8. A hassle to find a parking space
In a perfect world, all seaside towns should offer a valet parking system that would save tourists from driving around for hours to find a parking space, only to end up parked haphazardly between a handicapped space and a protected area of the littoral.
9. There are even traffic jams of cyclists
In summer, the cycle paths by the sea, especially those which connect the town centers to the beaches, are veritable two-wheeled highways, where cyclists on the move cohabit, self-proclaimed successors of Julian Alaphilippe and Sunday pedallers propelled at high speed on their electric bike. A hell of a mess in perspective very far from the quiet ride on two wheels that smell like holidays!
10. Dogs forbidden on the beaches (but who shit everywhere on the sidewalks)
If these tourist lizards are welcome on the beaches of the coast, the dogs are asked to remain wisely in their niche from April to September. A measure full of common sense, except for the owners who find themselves walking around everywhere else in the city, leaving them for revenge to forget themselves on the hot sidewalks.