1. You have your own racquets (and they’re not even from 1997)
You always carry them with you in case someone on the street offers you an unexpected ping pong (which never happens, let’s be honest). At least you have your own gear like the professionals, and that’s nice.
2. Sometimes you go play in parks with people you don’t know and it makes you happy.
Most of the time, you marave kids who don’t have the level at all to face you, but sometimes you come across someone who stands up to you and manages to fight you. It’s rare, it’s frustrating, but as you have a competitive spirit, you love these unexpected oppositions.
3. Your friends don’t want to play with you anymore
As you give them effects from the future and you smash them on the basis of 11-0, they obviously no longer want to make matches against you. It’s the other side of the coin: you’re too strong for ordinary mortals.
4. You say “table tennis player”
As soon as someone says the words “ping-pong players”, you take it back and shout “ON DIT PONGISTE”. It’s very serious for you, so pay attention to the vocabulary. Already that you ended up accepting that we say “ping-pong” instead of “table tennis”, we are not going to overdo it either.
5. You yell FAULT when the opponent puts their hand on the table
No, because if we start not respecting the official rules of the table tennis federation, where are we actually going? We’re going straight to chaos, yes my little lady!
6. You store your snowshoes in several separate pockets to avoid damaging the grip
It’s simple, you value your snowshoes more than your own children. That’s why you pamper them, put them away carefully, and why you wouldn’t lend them to your friends for anything in the world. You did it once, your racquet was dropped, and you’ve lost faith in humans ever since.
7. Sometimes you fold up half the table and practice on your own
People who look at you from the outside think you look really stupid playing like that on your own, but you know it’s the best way to train your forehand. They can laugh, the others: you will take revenge by breaking them in 1 VS 1.
8. Have you ever been to a ping-pong shop?
Ordinary mortals don’t even know that this type of store exists and are far from imagining the entire shelves filled with racquets of different weights and thicknesses. For them, it is a total mystery. For you, it’s paradise.
9. You get offended when it’s not considered a “real sport”
People who dare to say this kind of nonsense have probably never played a single match in their life and don’t know that you sweat like a cow when you really play ping-pong. Your athletic physique and your muscular legs can testify to this (well, after that, you don’t look like a swimmer either, don’t overdo it).
10. When you rent a house for your holidays, you always check the “ping pong table” filters
Swimming pool ? You do not care. A barbecue ? No matter. The important thing for you is that there is a table and that you can play from 10 a.m. until sunset during your entire vacation. And don’t let anyone suggest you go for a hike or visit the local church: you’re too busy practicing your service.
11. (Bonus) You play e-pong with the Decathlon adapter to train with the feeling of a real racket
And even in a very small room of 2m², so even when you’re in your room and your fellow table tennis players are busy, you can still train in virtual reality. It’s official, ping-pong really is your drug.