Summer is coming and with it hot eventful evenings where you will have to know how to distinguish yourself from the others in order to conquer your crush. On this everyone plays the cards they have received: humor, summer body, dream hair, shapely calves, brand t-shirts that exploit children… All shots are allowed to stand out, but very often we fail to treat a major charm asset: the voice. And if you have a shitty voice know that there are techniques to gain a sweet voice like honey that makes everyone warm and I’m going to give them to you.
1. Sleep three hours a night
Lack of sleep can cause all sorts of things: micro-sleeps, drowsiness, accidents, inattention and all the mess that are very clearly bad things. BUT it also gives a deeper, tired voice, and that’s super classy.
2. Scream for 24 hours straight
Be careful, there is a risk: either you will break your voice and it will be more serious and sexy, or you will completely lose your voice and that’s it. If you get there you just have to play the card of the mysterious person who never speaks, it also has its effect.
3. Do karaoke every night
How to treat your tired lover’s voice better than by using it excessively every evening? Doing karaoke damages voice, classic music, credibility and self-esteem, so this is what you need to tick every box.
4. Catch a cold while licking the subway bar
If you get sick chances are your voice will change a bit. A cold, flu, covid, nasopharyngitis or even diarrhea can change your voice. For diarrhea it’s not so much that your voice is naturally modified, it’s above all that by wanting to prevent you from getting hurt, you will speak in a more restrained way, and people like that.
5. Have vocal cord surgery
Be careful, it’s a double-edged sword, because it can actually change your voice, but it’s not recommended at all. Finally, I believe that doctors generally have other things to give a damn about, but I still offer you the trick while advising you rather to smoke a lot and sleep little.
6. Smoke a lot, all the time
The cigarette fucks the voice, the lungs, the throat, the clothes, the marriage, the bank account and lots of other things like the teeth. There, like that, it doesn’t seem like a good project, but believe me, smoking a pack in one evening promises a lover’s voice the next morning.
7. Already have a sexy voice
Probably the easiest way to have a sexy voice: have it naturally. But of course, since life is unfair, you probably don’t have it, any more than you have a flow or a confident gait. It’s by starting to accept the fact that people only want to catch you because they don’t want to end the evening alone that you will begin to realize your limited potential.
8. Drink boiling drinks
By burning your throat well with your coffee or tea heated to 200° there is a chance that it will give you some composure. Plan on a week of voice recovery, though, because it will hurt so much at first that the only word you’ll be able to say to the nurse is “morphine.” But after this time you will finally have the opportunity to say to him “so, what is your nickname, the nurse? in a voice that made the crotch of the walls tremble.
9. Drink alcohol
I’m not completely sure that drinking alcohol really changes your voice, but if in doubt it’s a parameter not to be overlooked. And then at worst you will already spend entire evenings partying while smoking cigarettes so you might as well do it while drinking a lot of alcohol.
10. Eat sand
Honestly, there’s more chance that it’ll fuck your body in general, but I have the idea that the sand scratches the throat well when you eat it, suddenly it will scrape all that a little until altering the voice so sexy that people will cum before you even speak to introduce yourself.