Top 10 things that are cute everywhere, but rotten in Paris

Paris, city of light, Paris, city of love, Paris, city of fashion… Paris, a city that is sometimes a little rotten all the same. The capital talks about it a lot, but on certain subjects, it is dismantled by all the other places in the country. Lots of things that are too cool and too cute elsewhere become completely screwed up in Paris. This is the flip side.

1. Pigeons

Everywhere : Cute birds that make their little life without pissing the world off.

In Paris : Monsters that come in packs as soon as you dare to get out of the food.

2. Beaches

Everywhere : Real beaches bordered by the sea. You sunbathe there quietly while listening to the sound of the waves.

In Paris : Yucky sand on the banks of the Seine containing 50,000 kinds of bacteria unknown to the battalion. We cram in as much as we can.

3. The banks

Everywhere : Places to sit to enjoy the scenery and meditate.

In Paris : Places to sit and enjoy the sound of cars honking their horns while being approached every five minutes.

4. Snow

Everywhere : An immaculate white carpet in which the children play happily.

In Paris : A greyish mud impregnated with the pollution of the ring road. It smells of sadness and death.

5. Walk in flip flops

Everywhere : Pleasure, fresh air, freedom.

In Paris : People stepping on you, broken nails, fungal infections.

6. Bike paths

Everywhere : An area reserved for cyclists who can go from point A to point B with complete peace of mind.

In Paris : An area regularly traveled by 4-wheelers who berate 2-wheelers because they dared to do urge urge with their bell.

7. Parks

Everywhere : A stretch of grass to lie down looking at the clouds while exclaiming: “Oh, it looks like an elephant”.

In Paris : An expanse of grass traveled by rats, under clouds that look more like François Bayrou.

8. Bodies of water

Everywhere : We bathe there with joy

In Paris : Rather die.

9. Elevators

Everywhere : Spacious and functional.

In Paris : Cramped and always down.

10. Prices

Everywhere : A little expensive.

In Paris : Very expensive.

11. People

Everywhere : « Bonjour », « Merci », ” Goodbye “

In Paris : « … », “Fuck your mother”, “Move from where I dismantle you”