A great sage said “it’s better when it’s free”. I don’t know who uttered this mantra (a sacred formula with spiritual power), but I agree 100%. To all of you rather ugly everyday items that we’ve never paid for, know that you make us happy. Very happy. As happy as you are dusty.
1. A broken umbrella
The one your buddy forgot at home 3/4 years ago. He’s got his mouth askew, half the canvas breaking his mouth, and it’s been a long time since you’ve seen the cover to put him away. But he helps out. And that’s good enough, right?
2. The pub keychain of any association
Attention, it is not a question of the simple key ring which decorates your keychain. No, it’s the keychain in the literal sense of the word. The beautiful lanyard flocked by the brand, which you are supposed to pass around your neck to hang your keys on. The essential accessory for anyone who went home alone in elementary school.
3. A monstrous amount of pens
Flocked, this time, by your bank. The opportunity to sign big checks while remembering who is going to smash your face on the phone the next day.
4. The 32 crumpled tote bags lying around your house
Recovered from a thrift shop, forgotten by your friends, stolen from your sisters, found by surprise in a forgotten drawer, stolen from a party… In short, you have a whole bunch of them without ever having put your hand in your pocket. And that is beautiful.
5. Almost empty lighters (that you don’t dare take anymore for fear of ending up in trouble)
Clearly the thing that can’t be bought, but that can be stolen. And therefore logically, which does not cost a penny. On the other hand, don’t come whining when someone steals yours, when you’re doing exactly the same as the others. Yes yes yes yes they stole the thing I stole.
6. Clothes given to you for free
The only catch is that if the person opposite thinks it’s not worth a penny, it’s probably pretty ugly. But it’s free. We can not have everything.
7. About fifteen ecocups
We don’t say that you never paid any (the deposit you never brought back). They only say that in your cupboard with eco-cups, there’s a good 90% of glasses that you’ve snuffed out from your friends, or worse… from the complete stranger who left it lying around. Big filth.
8. An old importable cap/hat
Often offered by brands, which had the immense good taste to flock their logo on it. They clearly screwed up the full potential of the product to show off a bit, but hey… We still like it, our white cap with red polka dots picked up at the Tour de France.
9. Hotel products
The smallest players are content with shower gel and shampoo. The real ones run off with the bathrobes, the shower towels, and the little terrycloth slippers. The best.
10. The Burst Gift
The rotten board game, the funny but not funny book (sex for dummies hihihi tro dé lol), the ugly old porcelain statuette offered by grandma, the creepy doll of your mother-in-law, the sweater as ugly as too big… The list is long, but the conclusion is the same: it sucks, useless and ugly, but it’s a gift, so we keep it. We hide, but we keep.