We’ve been waiting for this for 4 years (for those who don’t boycott and who rather go to the movies, to the restaurant, or in the cellar covering their ears). The Blues are putting their title on the line in Qatar, starting with a match against Subway-sponsored bad beer drinkers, the Aussies. First we freaked out, then we huffed, then we liked it.
1. The air conditioning is not so strong in the stadium because at the beginning it was very hot
7 minutes of play, one action, one goal, one injury. We can say that this World Cup started off on a pretty good foundation.
2. We will therefore have one big injury per game
That’s pretty much the pace since the start of this World Cup, with Hernandez tonight. You have to choose the player at the start of the match, and put Mbappé in cotton.
3. Why cry Benzema when we have Giroud?
51 goals. Top scorer in the France team tied with Henry. Best hairstyle. Best smile. Best man. We love you Olivier, marry us.
4. Who needs Pogba and Kanté?
Not us. At least not us against rotten teams. We have Rabiot and Tchouameni and many others. If however it were to go bad in the next matches, forget this point, we never wrote it.
5. Dembele is going fast. Mbappe too. Like Coman
Too fast in any case for the Australian yellows. way too fast
6. Australians must stay in rugby
Because in football, it’s breles. And even in rugby we hit them. Let them stick to Australian rules football and lukewarm beer.
7. The Aussie jersey should never be worn again
By no human being. It’s as ugly as the Netherlands shirt. Who is among the ugliest.
8. Pavard will probably cost us a goal per game
It will therefore be necessary to score 2 each time. But we know how to do it, you just have to be aware. Now we know.
9. Mbappé will finish top scorer
He is in good shape, he wants to, and he scored with a header. Yes, you read that right: FROM THE HEAD. It will just take him not to do too much to achieve this result, but if he is patient, it will come by itself. You will have read it here. And we’ll get the Pulitzer Prize for that info in advance.
10. The Curse of the Defending Champion is Bullshit
Stats are made to be outwitted. Maybe the defending champion often gets a crust, well we are told that the champion is going to be a hit. Just because we say so, yeah.
11. (bonus) We still haven’t boycotted too much tonight
Neither this morning for Argentina, nor this afternoon for Tunisia. And therefore even less tonight for the French team. We shouldn’t say we don’t regret, but in truth, tonight we don’t regret too much. But tomorrow, boycott. Alright.
Now we’re going to hit the Danes and that’s it. Give us the cup right away, we’ll save a lot of time.