We young people (well, I’m over 30, but I convince myself that I’m still young), we are still big, fragile people. Don’t get upset, let me explain: we find everything hyper passive aggressive. Limit, we have to take it with a grain of salt so little can seem nasty to us. Look, all the things mentioned in this top were normal before, so why do we find them passive aggressive?
1. The smiley
This little smiling face was invented to show a little kindness to others. But no, we prefer to imagine that his smile is false and even totally malicious. We’ve totally perverted that poor smiley with our crazy minds.
2. The ending period “.” in posts
One day a guy invented punctuation and showed that with dots sentences would still be so much easier to understand. Then we, in the 2010s, decided that the period at the end of the messages was a little too dry and aggressive. When it’s just the right way to write.
3. The message with just “ok” in it
Same for messages with just “ok”. And it’s even worse if the “ok” or the “agree” are followed by a period. There, we are on the verge of a declaration of war.
4. The thumbs up emoji
This little drawing supposed to be used to validate, even to encourage an interlocutor, has almost become a synonym of “I don’t care” in our sick brains. We definitely manage to transform every positive thing into something dark. How sad.
5. That a friend doesn’t like your last insta post
REAL friends MUST like your posts on Instagram. This is an unspoken rule of friendship, and any breach of this rule will be seen as willful and vicious betrayal. Think about it the next time your friend posts a lame photo of his mussels and fries dish on vacation: you’ll have to like it, even if this content gives you hemorrhoids it’s so boring. For the sake of your friendship.
6. Messages beginning with “thank you for…”
It’s one of the passive-aggressive work phrases that we often find in our emails. And it is true that this turn of phrase sounds slightly authoritarian. We have the impression that the person who sends it to us is necessarily an old woman with a too tight bun who can’t stand the annoyance.
7. Drop a “seen”
Sometimes we just have nothing to answer, and then the conversations have to end at some point, otherwise we would be talking continuously with all the people we know. So you have to let go of a “seen” from time to time. However, it always hurts to take one, and we experience it as a very unpleasant little attack.
8. Have a friend make you lose your flames on Snap
A little explanation for young people who are already too old for Snapchat: when two people chat at least once every 24 hours, they maintain their flame. If they speak at least once every 24 hours for, say, 276 days, they will have 276 flames. But if, unfortunately, they don’t speak to each other one day, the counter goes back to zero. And that is very frowned upon.
9. Not replying to a Whatsapp within 3 minutes
It’s crazy, but we’ve lost all form of patience, and yet we continue to think that everything is someone else’s fault. If your friend doesn’t answer you right after you send her a message, she’s probably busy, but you see it as a mark of contempt. It has neither head nor tail.
10. “Regards”
BUT CORDIALLY OF WHAT IN FACT? DO YOU WANT ME TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND DROP YOUR FURNITURE WITH A CROWBAR OR WHAT? I WILL MAKE YOU FLUSH YOUR “CORDIALLY”. I WILL PRINT IT ON AN A1 SIZE SHEET THEN ROLL IT INTO A BALL AND PUSH IT DOWN YOUR THROAT YOUR CORDIALLY.
Sorry, but that pissed me off a bit.