Top 10 tips to stop being victimized by your cat

Those who are lucky enough to have a cat know that we are often forced to make many compromises to find common ground with this singular being who assumes that you are not his master, but his subject. Beginners can quickly get overwhelmed by what this relationship requires and we will give you some tips to avoid being victimized, because I don’t know a lot of things in life but I can at least say I know cats .

1. ALWAYS leave him something to eat

At first you will want to ration, give him at regular times or pace his diet, and despite your veterinarian’s advice to prevent him from gorging, you will quickly understand that it is not you who says when he should eat, but him. who decides if he can freak out when he sees the bottom of his bowl of croquettes a little too much for his taste. And there you are wrong.

2. Never overdo petting

When your cat wants affection, he will let you know by coming up to you. This is about the only real time you can pet him without risking losing a hand without warning, unless you have a 100% friendly cat, which is rare. When in doubt, don’t overdo the hugs.

3. Leave all doors open

Depending on the type of cat you have, he might not like being in front of a closed door at all, especially if it separates you from him. He will then probably start scratching it until you open it to him without coming into the room, just to piss you off.

4. Make sure your litter box is clean at all times

If you want to avoid ending up with a puddle of piss on your favorite sweater or good old shit in your shoe, it is absolutely necessary to ensure that its litter box is kept clean at all times, your cat will not hesitate to make you pay for it in the most horrible way.

5. Assume that all your furniture that allows him to scratch belongs to him

You’re really disgusted because your cat smashed into your sofa, the edge of your bed, your armchair, your parquet floor, a friend’s child or something else to scratch its claws well I’m sad to tell you that There is nothing to do. It is his property. One had to think before adopting one of these representatives of hell.

6. If he presents his stomach to you for petting, don’t fall into the trap.

It’s rare, and when it happens you think you’re the luckiest person in the world but yet it’s a trap: your cat enjoys about three strokes on its belly, after which it will close its paws on your hand like a wolf trap and cause you a lot of pain by getting excited like you just insulted his grandmother. If he shows his belly, ignore him.

7. Do not leave a suitcase open

Already if your cat feels that you are going on a trip, he risks making you pay a lot of money for it by pissing everywhere or setting fire to your apartment while you are away, but in addition he risks settling in the suitcase for approximately eight weeks, taking care to move only when you are not there to avoid being able to put it away.

8. Have nothing in your apartment except toys

Your books ? He will eat them. Your posters? He will tear them apart. Your clothes? He’ll shove hair all over it so much that any of your clothes will look like part of Chewbacca’s costume. Nothing that is in your apartment should be used for anything other than its little pleasure, this is by far the most important lesson of this top with the Pythagorean theorem (A2 + B2 = C2).

9. Don’t let him sleep with you in the bedroom to avoid getting hit in his sleep

WARNING REAL INFO: your cat can choke you in your sleep, it happens without warning when he decides for example to lie on your face and prevent you from breathing or when he confuses your feet at the end of the bed with a frolicking rabbit in a field. Well it rarely happens but it does happen.

10. Take krav maga lessons to master it

At some point in your relationship your cat will be able to show its true form: that of a two-meter long creature, strong as a bull and whose eyes spit out powerful lasers. At this point it would be useful to have taken a few krav maga lessons to know how to master it, which can also be life-saving when it is in its normal form, that of a cute furry ball which nevertheless remains capable of extreme violence.