As we are people who love to judge books by their covers and monks by their clothes, we develop a whole bunch of funny and somewhat true clichés, you see the delirium. As we have already judged your personality according to your type of car, it is now time to move on to something more specific: how do you wear your sweater?
1. The sweater tied around the waist like a shlagos
Where we can find you: Sitting on a raincoat in the grass in front of your camping tent
Why you don’t wear your sweater normally: Because you always favor comfort and practicality over style. It’s ugly but it doesn’t matter.
2. The sweater on the shoulders of big bourgeois
Where we can find you: In Deauville walking on the beach with your hands behind your back and staring into space
Why you don’t wear your sweater normally: To show that you are from the CSP+ team which drives in 4X4 in town.
3. The jacket worn like a cape with the hood on the head
Where we can find you: In a primary schoolyard with all the other children your age (9 years old maximum)
Why you don’t wear your sweater normally: Because you seize all the fun opportunities that life presents to you so that you never have a dull and sad day.
4. The reverse sweater with the tags sticking out
Where we can find you: On a beer-soaked couch with marker on your face and three grams in your blood
Why you don’t wear your sweater normally: ‘Cause you’re still drunk from the night before and you haven’t even noticed your mistake
5. Held one hand over the shoulder like a Hollister model
Where we can find you: On the sidewalk in front of an Abercrombie store to show off your abs and sell 40 bucks t-shirts
Why you don’t wear your sweater normally: Because you’re already paid only 10 bucks an hour and you don’t want to get fired
6. The sweater tied across the waist, the new fashion
Where we can find you: At the Solidays in front of Polo & Pan with your other sore friends who wear their sweaters exactly like you
Why you don’t wear your sweater normally: ‘Cause you don’t wanna look like the shlagos who wear their sweaters around their waists
7. The sweatshirt that goes over your legs because you’re cold
Where we can find you: On the terrace of a country house at 3 a.m. with a can of beer in hand
Why you don’t wear your sweater normally: Because it’s 12 degrees, you’re in shorts and you’re too lazy to go change
8. The sweater where you pull the cords to find yourself in a cocoon
Where we can find you: Lying on your table in math class while the teacher glares at you
Why you don’t wear your sweater normally: ‘Cause you love that rebellious little teen style that annoys everyone
9. The sweater that hangs from the handle of the tote bag
Where we can find you: In the subway or the bus with halos of perspiration under the arms
Why you don’t wear your sweater normally: Because you already have the equivalent of a large family suitcase in your bag and there’s no way you’re wearing your jacket all day
10. The sweater too small because you put the washing machine at 60°C
Where we can find you: Whining at the laundromat in front of your mountain of faded and shrunken clothes, you even hesitate to drink the bottle of fabric softener
Why you don’t wear your sweater normally: WHY ARE YOU WIPING THE KNIFE IN THE WOUND???
If you own your style and say fuck the haters, you can get yourself an ugly Christmas sweater and wear it however you like.