A wedding = ultra embarrassing PowerPoints, a DJ who plays Patrick Sébastien 12 times, girls in high heels tearing their hair out for a bouquet or even a thousand people that you absolutely do not want to see, gathered in the same room. As if that wasn’t bad enough, it also has to cost a blind. Really. An arm, a lung, your soul and your PEL. Well… That’s only true if you’re ready to rake. If not, we have a few tips that should relieve your wallet a bit. Come on, it’s our wedding present. And youhouuuu, long live the bride and groom, huh! (I’m kidding, we don’t care about all this love, there.)
1. Get it sponsored (Hello Kourtney Kardashian)
On May 22, 2022, Kourtney married Travis Barker in Italy. A luxurious wedding, sponsored, and therefore, partly financed, by Dolce & Gabbana. The family doesn’t really need help to finance anything, but hey… Don’t they say that to stay rich, you have to live like a poor person (or live in Dubai in fact, it depends on the mood) ?
The little difficulty : you have to be known for a brand to be interested in your union. It’s hard, but life is not a long calm river, actually. Wake up.
2. Make a dedicated TV show
For those who like competition and bitching about other brides and grooms: it will be “4 weddings for a honeymoon” (and if you do well, you can get your wedding AND your honeymoon financed, in style.) . For lovers of thrills and big challenges: “Married at first sight”. The opportunity to discover the Gibraltar Botanical Garden and your husband/wife on the same day. Very good.
3. Divert funds
“François Fillon likes your publication. »
4. Launch an online fundraiser
And don’t be afraid to play a little on the emotional side. Gender… ” I suffer from marriageopathy, a rare disease that forces me to get married. A luxurious union, in a dress with at least 3 and a half Smic is the only known remedy to date. Unfortunately, health insurance does not cover this type of disorder. I’m sorry to bother you, but I need money. If everyone puts in just 1 euro, I might be able to heal one day. Thanks. ». On a misunderstanding…
5. Ask guests to bring a bottle for two
As well as one thinner per person. Ecocups are also welcome. Note that no straws, napkins or toothpicks will be provided. It is therefore up to you to bring your own. Thanks.
6. …And make a Spanish inn for dinner
On the other hand, make an effort, and agree on who brings what. It’s out of the question to have 12 surimi pasta salads, 15 bacon quiches, and just 1 tabbouleh, in fact. Don’t be stingy, it’s my wedding, anyway!
7. Having rich parents…
« Daaaaaddy, I want a pony » and a bridal carriage, a designer dress, bouquets of peonies at all the tables, a giant fireworks display, a release of doves, caviar as an appetizer and Soprano as a host. Thanks.
8. …or rich in-laws
Even better: rich parents AND in-laws. COMBOOOOOOO.
9. Make it an expense report (especially if you’re a minister or deputy)
“Pénélope Fillon reacted to your post with the emoji “HAHA””
10. Seek advice from Valérie Pécresse
And little tricks to make a lot of wheat in a minimum of time, believe me she has heaps! Selling cakes on the market, opening a Vinted account, stealing the collection basket from the church… Ahhhh sacred Valérie.
11. Don’t get married
By far the most reliable of all these tricks. I can swear to you!
12. Bonus: divorce without a marriage contract
It is not a technique to finance it, but simply to reimburse it. And that’s not so bad, right? If you bet on the right horse, you can even make a little profit. Hats off to the artist.
If you are really invited to a stingy wedding like these and you want to ruin it (it’s not super cool, but we understand you a little, anyway): here is a small selection of very qualitative techniques . What to fuck the atmosphere for sure.