Ah Elon Musk, this infamous mix between a billionaire, an internet troll and a dangerous megalomaniac. The guy is scary and has an aura of super villain, but what’s great about him is that you never get bored. Every week, he brings us a different madness, and we can say that in 2022 he hasn’t been idle at all in terms of bullshit. As a result, without too much difficulty, I was able to give you a month-by-month top of his feats of arms. This guy is inimitable.
1. January: Elon Musk wanted to pay a 19-year-old guy $5,000 to shut down his Twitter account
The Twitter account called @ElonJet traced (and still traces) all of Elon Musk’s private jet trips, and as much to say that he does a lot (too much) of the trips. Inevitably, as at the moment the climate is going down the drain, it’s a task, and Elon Musk did not like being displayed like that. He therefore offered the owner of the account the sum of $5,000 to delete it. Of course, the 19-year-old asked 10 times as much, because it’s a bit of a stretch to offer $5,000 when you have hundreds of billions in your pocket, but Elon refused. A little stingy, dude.
2. February: We learned that his company Neuralink was abusing monkeys
Neuralink starts from an idea that is both scary and perhaps life-saving: implanting chips in human brains to control equipment remotely. On the one hand, we can’t help but think “but it’s Black Mirror oukoi?? », and on the other, we admit that it can help paralyzed people, which is pretty cool. But the really bad thing is that Neuralink has been experimenting with monkeys, and apparently many have suffered martyrdom and several of them have died. Helping humans is cool, but killing poor monkeys isn’t.
3. March: Elon called his daughter Exa Dark Sideræl
He and his partner had this child in secret and decided to give him this first name that smells of interstellar travel. Frankly, after its big brother which is called X Æ A-12, it’s almost easy to wear.
Note that in March, Elon Musk still did something good: he helped the Ukrainians fight the Russian invasion thanks to his network of satellites. You can’t blame him for everything either.
4. April: Elon Musk announced he wanted to buy Twitter
We knew he did indeed have the $40 billion needed to take over the platform, so that freaked us all out a bit. Why ? Because a megalomaniac guy like Elon Musk who owns a platform on which all the politicians on the planet express themselves is dangerous. The guy could establish his own rules and favor some of them to make friends in high places who, afterward, will favor his projects (like implanting chips in human brains). Do you see the delirium?
5. May: Elon Musk suspends his offer to buy Twitter
I’m not going to lie to you, at that time I didn’t quite understand. If I believe the newspapers of the time, he wanted us to give him more info on the fake accounts hosted by the platform (because the more fake accounts there are, the less valuable it is, of course. ) In short, let’s not dwell on it.
June 6: Elon Musk wanted to fire 1 in 10 Tesla employees
While the box employed nearly 100,000 people, Elon had a “bad feeling” about the economic future and wanted to reduce its workforce by 10%. It must suck to get fired on a bad feeling from the boss. Well, in the end, he apparently just froze hiring, but it still hurts the ass.
July 7: Elon Musk backed out of Twitter takeover
Here again, I didn’t really understand why, but as I come from the future, I can tell you that there will still be twists and turns in this affair.
8. August: he called for having more babies and consuming more gas and oil
If you didn’t know that Elon Musk didn’t give a damn about the environment, now at least you know.
Come on, two for the price of one: Elon Musk also tweeted to say he was going to buy Manchester United before retracting saying it was a joke. This guy is super funny.
September 9: Elon Musk Criticized The Rings Of Power Series For Weird Reasons
In two tweets, the Tesla boss assumed that “Tolkien must have been turning in his grave” then claimed that the male characters on the show were all either cowards or jerks and that the only brave and kind character was Galadriel, a woman. Basically, what bothers him about the series of Lord of the Rings, it is above all that women are better than men. A bit silly of him, when he could have just told the truth: this series is boring to death.
October 10: Elon Musk bought Twitter and formalized his first rotten project
Lo and behold, our worst nightmare has come true. The guy finally bought Twitter and decided his first move would be to make official accounts pay $20 a month. A genius man.
11. November: Elon Musk made Verified Accounts pay off and fired a chunk of Twitter’s workforce
Big month for Elon, who started by ruining the principle of the famous blue dot which makes it possible to make certified accounts visible by making it payable at $8 per month and accessible to all those who are willing to spend the money. Later in the month, he simply fired important people from the box before addressing a dilemma to the employees: either they accept to work like crazy, or they break. Surprisingly, many chose to go find a new job, which put the platform in jeopardy. The manager of the year.
As a bonus, know that good old Elon simply decided to tweet by posting a photo of his bedside table. The answers are magical.
December 12: Elon Musk redeems Christmas
Fuck the motherfucker.