If you like children’s anecdotes and funny slices of life, you’ll love the tweets from @BunAndLeggings who talks about his daily life with his children. They are cute, but also a bit dodgy.
1. My 7 year old daughter told me that Jeremy gave her all the answers at school. As the conversation progressed, I realized that Jeremy was her mastermind. She called her brain Jeremy.
2. My 9-year-old son said “it’s time to make some money!” when I dropped him off at school. Apparently he sells his Halloween candy to kids who aren’t allowed to have candy in their homes.
3. My 5 year old daughter told me she wanted to be an astronaut. I told him that I too wanted to become an astronaut when I was his age. She looked at me saying “And now that you’re big you don’t have a job”. Silence.
4. My 5 year old daughter pretended to play Wordle at the same time as me. By pressing the keys of her cardboard phone, she says “Yeah I found it!”. I asked her how she found it so quickly. She: “I have a fake phone, I can do whatever I want”.
5. I love picking up my 5 year old daughter from kindergarten because she always says “my day was amazing” and starts telling me she had to color the letter J
6. I was super thirsty so I took a sip from my daughter’s water bottle and a solid thing came with the water. Learn from my mistake. I can’t go back but I can tell you not to do like me.
7. The best thing about being a parent is watching your kids sleep. Being able to admire your creation without them yelling at you or sneezing in your face, the dream
8. Picking up my daughter from school, she told me it was a horrible day because “someone drew a banana on the floor and I almost slipped.”
9. My child asked me for a checkup for his nuggets. After giving the nugget a medical exam, I figured out she meant ketchup.
10. When I was 4, my dad got pulled over on the side of the road and I yelled “I have to poop!” and the cop let us go. When I got home, I told my dad I lied so he wouldn’t get fined. I hope my children will do the same for me one day.
11. My 5 year old daughter can’t drive her fake car because she lost her fake driver’s license. She’s stressing out because she doesn’t know how she’s going to take her kids to the park. It’s getting too real, I’m stressing with her.
12. My 5 year old daughter asked me what my real name was and it sounded like a Batman interrogation. She looked at me aggressively saying “I know that’s not your real name mom”
So you still want to have kids now?