Tips Clear News Portal Your Ultimate Guide to Clear Tips on Life, Tech, Health, and More Life is all about making mistakes. Well no, life is eating and drinking to survive, sleeping so as not to be tired, working to pay your bills, wishing the birthday of your hated aunt, saying hello to your neighbor while insulting him by his inner core because he scratches our car door every morning and opens the patio door for the cat 400 times in one afternoon. BUT, life is also about making mistakes, as happened with some directors and producers who decided to make a film that should never have seen the light of day for obvious reasons of peace in the world.
1. Hot Take: The Depp/Heard Trial Movie
Already the subject is crap, we’re just talking about the trial of a couple without being able to rely on interesting script tricks since there were none. But above all, we already know everything: the trial has been so publicized, we have talked about it so much that there is no point in filming it, especially since the story is not even over. What’s next, a Will Smith slap movie?
2. Matrix 4: because it didn’t start too badly, and then no
Ok, if we take a good look at the thing we see that the first forty minutes completely destroy the first trilogy in all its aspects, which is not necessarily a bad idea (it’s original at least). It also beats up the Hollywood production system, the box office films that all look alike, the power of producers over authors and that too, frankly it’s a good idea. But what happened next? Why does the second half of the film become exactly what the first tries to denounce? It was better to stay on the first three because there it is missed (limit only on the first for that matter).
3. 8 rue de l’Humanité: the film on confinement
We’ve all experienced it, it was boring to death, but there’s one who said to himself “well, I’m going to make a film of it”, it was absolutely inevitable. And this guy is Dany Boon, he wrote his stupid “screenplay”, Netflix agreed to produce it because even if it means spending the money no matter what, you might as well do it like that and we, like idiots, produced it by paying our subscription. We didn’t sign for that.
4. Indiana Jones 4 (and probably 5 for that matter)
Why go and dig up a perfect trilogy whose end was sufficient and the third part absolutely conclusive? For the money, of course. The problem is that with such a scenario and actors who seem not to know where they are going, the viewer is easily lost, and that does absolutely nothing good. Big mistake to make this film but I’m not going to destroy it more than that, the critics have already taken care of it.
5. Super Mario Bros: years of therapy for an entire generation
That was before video games were as popular as they are now, but Mario was already a hugely important symbol of pop culture and American producers said to themselves, “Hey, there’s money to be made here. “. But then we absolutely have to find the guy on LSD who came up with this screenplay and this artistic direction because it’s very serious what happened with this film, and it traumatized a lot of people.
6. Oldboy : le remake inutile de Spike Lee
Why ? Why would you want to remake a similar film just because people don’t like to read subtitles? Especially when the original film was a perfect example of successful adaptation coupled with a cinematic masterpiece? I don’t have the answers, only questions, like the one that has haunted me since my earliest childhood: what degree of race are the mosquitoes that decide to bite us underfoot?
7. Toy Story 4: How to ruin a great ending
Yeah there were nice scenes in the fourth part, yeah not everything is to be thrown away: but in reality, the end of the third was absolutely perfect. We understood that the toys were going to have a second life with Molly and that everything was going to more or less start from zero after the Andy era, and then we are shown in the first five minutes that in fact she does not give a fuck of Woody and in the end they decide to separate him from Buzz. It’s too, far too much to digest.
8. Battlefield Earth: The Scientology Movie
Based on the novel by Ron Hubbard, the inventor of Scientology (if a science fiction writer created a religion beware anyway), the film Battlefield Earth is a complete disaster brought to life by the no less Scientologist John Travolta. The story tells us about human extinction because of an extraterrestrial race, and as a review I found on the internet says: “after 15 minutes watching the film, the extinction of humanity does not seem be such a bad idea”. Just the trailer can make your nose bleed.
9. Movie 43: the movie that lied to all of Hollywood
We told you about it with the actors who were lied to on a set: Movie 43 is a strange production in which we find a host of actors: Halle Berry, Gerard Butler, Richard Gere, Hugh Jackman, Johnny Knoxville, Justin Long, Chris Pratt, Emma Stone, Uma Thurman, Naomi Watts, Kate Winslet, Julianne Moore and many others. In short, a huge bunch of big stars whose only common point is that they were lied to in order for them to stay on the film, although most of them want to get out of the project. The result is a pretty rambling, critically riddled sketch film that almost no actor agreed to champion during promotion, because besides being born out of a lie it’s bad.
10. Cats: horror has a face
The play had been a hit on Broadway for decades and until now no one had dared to make a movie out of it for the simple reason that it stank of failure. Especially since the piece was filmed and we could therefore see it as Hamilton, which works great on TV. Everything is scary in this film, but the costumes and make-up reach the level of nightmare 10, it makes you uncomfortable in two seconds and it ruins a beautiful work.
11. Dragonball Evolution: tied with Death Note
If I had to find a formula to sum up these two films I think it would be to watch a guy give me the middle finger while burning a ten euro note that I just gave him for an hour and a half. Not only do the two films completely sweep away the two works on which they are inspired without trying to give a damn about it, but the sets and costumes are also shitty (small mention for Ryuk in Death Note which was the only successful trick). You really want to see again the face of Piccolo which seems straight out of a bad convention of Star Trek ?
12. Rest a bit: the next film by Gad Elmaleh
Yeah nobody saw him since he didn’t come out. But there, like that, at a glance watching the trailer I’m almost certain that it will not be a masterpiece. I could be wrong. But I doubt it. Nah really, there, I doubt it.