This morning, after waking up in a bad mood, after taking a shower that was too cold and drinking a disgusting coffee in my rotten apartment, I had this very not very positive reflection: we had a shitty year after all. And even more: we may have just experienced the worst year in history (which still goes back a long time). You may say that I’m exaggerating and that I should just move house, learn to make coffee or hire a good plumber, but no, I’m telling you this on purpose: this year smelled of old scum.
1. There is war in Ukraine
It was already not joy in recent years in Ukraine, but we can say that in 2022 it got a little worse with the invasion of the country by Putin. The guy is actually talking about using the nuke if it gets screwed up, so everyone clenches their ass waiting for him to have a heart attack or fall down the stairs one of these four. Until then, support for the Ukrainian people.
2. The World Cup takes place in Qatar
And beyond all that has already been said about the scandal of this edition, I would like to add one thing: the World Cup in winter is really shit. Nobody wants to watch matches outside when it’s 2 degrees. Give us back the sun and the damn bermudas.
3. The far right has taken power in Italy
The Italians have chosen to make Giorgia Meloni their prime minister even though the girl is a big fan of Mussolini, she is anti-LGBT and she is slightly anti-vax around the edges.
4. We re-elected Macron
While the majority of French people no longer wanted to see his ass resting on the chair of the Élysée. It still sucks though.
5. Francky Vincent was named Chevalier des Arts et des Lettres
No, but if we’re able to give this title to a guy who wrote You want my penis, The Cat to the Neighbor et You well du cul, do we agree that it no longer has any value? Soon we will go to the Legion of Honor at Kev Adams and the National Order of Merit at Adixia des Anges, right?
6. Heuss l’Enfoiré remixed the Marseillaise
I who thought that Macron was the person who was doing the most harm to France, I planted myself.
7. Elizabeth II died when we thought she was going to bury us all
RIP Lizou we miss you already. Yes I call her Lizou, so what? Are you jealous of our closeness?
8. It was a little hot this summer, right?
Kind hot enough for half the globe to be on fire and we want to marry our fan for life and death. We sweated a lot of armpits, huh?
9. The right to abortion has declined in the USA
In some states, women can no longer have abortions, even when they have been raped. What kind of scum do you have to be to actually pass this kind of law? Come on, don’t even want to joke about it, let’s move on.
10. Celine Dion is sick
She suffers from a neurological disorder which gradually stiffens her muscles and prevents her from touring Europe. This is the big sadness.
11. TPMP still exists
Wouldn’t this be an opportunity to take another look at Hanouna’s worst moments on TV to regurgitate our lunch?
12. Sardou’s tour is extended
When will he finally say goodbye to us? Pity.
