That’s it, life no longer has any meaning because you’ve exhausted all the Christmas movies on your list? We understand, but as Voltaire once said, “we must not panic because there is nothing more panicking than panic”. A wise man. To remedy your anxieties, we suggest you watch the first two seasons of the incredible Netlifx original series Emily in Paris, in anticipation of the third, available from December 21, 2022 on Netflix. Enough to give you a good laugh in front of these not at all cliché things that you had certainly already forgotten.
1. Maid’s rooms of 30 square meters
In the series : Emily discovers her new home and it’s a “little maid’s room” barely attic of about thirty square meters with a view of a beautiful square near the Pantheon, on the 5th floor without a lift. So cocooning.
In real life : You actually hit the five floors without a lift, only to come across a 9 square meter studio with the shower in the kitchen and beams at shoulder height. Of course, you can’t see anything but the windows of people no better off than you.
2. Good weather
In the series : The sky is blue, the sun is shining, Paris is too romantic and Emily never has a wet dog style having forgotten her umbrella.
In real life : We still see the gray sky of pollution more often than the sun and when it rains once every three days, all the metro stations end up flooded.
3. Taxis from Charles de Gaulle that take you to all the most beautiful places in the capital
In the series : Lalala, Emily walks from Rue de Rivoli to the Opéra Garnier via the Champs-Élysées, when she has to go to the depths of the 5th arrondissement hihi, tro bo Paris.
In real life : All schuss on the A3 before losing a good hour in traffic jams and discovering that Parisians use their horns more than their muscles to smile. The pura vida parisiana.
4. Streets so clean you could see your reflection
In the series : Not a cigarette butt on the ground, not a spit, not a bulky item, not a building block, not a homeless man lying on the sidewalk, not an old metro ticket and hardly any dog shit.
In real life : You never walk in your outdoor shoes in your apartment or you’re good to bleach them for the rest of your life.
5. The French who work from 10:30 a.m.
In the series : Not too fast in the morning, shouldn’t rush his lazy French people who start at almost noon, then take a two-hour lunch break to drink before really starting to work by doing the bare minimum to not work the weekend (unfortunately, it’s illegal).
In real life : About three people in Paris start after 9:30 a.m. and no matter how much I contacted all the labor inspection branches, no one was able to find any line prohibiting work on weekends (but if you know where it is, come pv, it’s for a friend).
6. Free and sunny terraces
In the series : Hey, it’s a little hot, so Emily decides to get a kick out of it by having a little rosé on this beautiful, calm and almost empty terrace with a view of the Seine.
In real life : You spend 45 minutes in the heat wave waiting like a fool for a place to become free two centimeters from the road, all that to bitch on people passing by and come out with hair that smells of tobacco.
7. Sleeper trains worthy of the Orient-Express
In the series : Emily discovers at the Gare de l’Est a train with pretty wooden cabins, super well-made beds and little flowers to welcome her so that she has a pleasant trip to Saint-Tropez in luxury and calm, without a single minute late.
In real life : You’re going for an extra three hours of travel stuck between Orleans and Brive after hitting a boar, in a squeaky bed with Vincent’s smelly feet and Nadine’s snoring.
8. Parks almost always empty
In the series : Come on, Emily has a little free time so she takes the opportunity to go for a little jog in the Jardin des Plantes or settle down in the Place des Vosges with her friend Mindy, there’s no one, you might as well take advantage of it!
In real life : Hello, could you push yourself a few centimeters so that I too can take advantage of this shady patch of grass coveted by half of Paris?
9. The French who spend half the time naked
In the series : Nothing but the Darons sunbathe naked on the edge of the pistoche and the chicks have hammam afternoons with their friends, drop the top!
In real life : Everyone has a more or less equal relationship to nudity, except in Cap d’Agde. In addition, it is forbidden to walk around naked, even at home.
10. Quiet Street Birthday Dinners
In the series : To celebrate her 29th birthday, Emily invites all her Parisian friends to the square below her house and sets up a large table for the occasion with good food and good wine.
In real life : Called by your neighbors, the police arrive to ask you if you have permission from the town hall before fining you for drunkenness on the public highway. Meanwhile, crackheads steal your bottles of Chateau Latour and pigeons shit on your brownie. Happy birthday.
11. The cigarette in the beak everywhere, all the time
In the series : Sylvie and her friends from the Savoir agency eat their lungs every minute of their lives by smoking cigarettes stored in stylish cases, whether in their offices, on the terrace, at a pro party or in any public place. .
In real life : No one has smoked in offices since 1991 (but it’s true that we don’t say no to have a little chat on the terrace).
12. People who are always super well dressed
In the series : The nannies are in mini-skirts, people are going to work in stilettos on the cobblestones and everyone is wearing pieces from small designers as if they had found it at H&M.
In real life : There are more black jeans than berets in the dressing room of the French (even if I haven’t studied the dressing rooms of all of France so maybe some data escaped me after all).
13. The good bakeries without a queue
In the series : Emily sees a super stylish bakery, walks in, gets a pain au chocolat, gets a bad look from the saleswoman, and walks out two minutes later with her delicious pain au chocolat.
In real life : Hello, it would be to wait 20 minutes in line to pay me a classic baguette at €1.50 while having the impression of having asked for 18-carat bread, is it possible? Thanks !