Top 14 dumb things we owe to old people (those sucky people)
The old people are endearing, the advertisements with sad grandpas make us cry in two seconds, and there’s nothing cuter than a gaga granny, I admit. But still… They don’t always make our life easier! Frankly, there are times, when it was necessary to make choices, they all decided to move forward united in the worst direction, what. NICE for the new generations, frankly!
1. TPMP hearings
According to the data collected by Le Monde, if the audiences of Cyril Hanouna, this very special man, break records (unfortunately), it is not thanks to the young people (contrary to what the guests say who repeat all 4 mornings “ouin ouin ce inportan den spoken for all the young people who are watching us! Kiku young people! We love you darlings”)! If in 2016, the average age of TPMP viewers was 39 years old, it is now… 52 years old! I’m not saying it’s old, I’m just saying that at 50 banks, we’re closer to the end than the beginning, that’s all. In any case, the over 60s are now 171% more likely to be stupefied every night on C8. As for the over 70s, we are breaking all records: the figures for this age group have swelled by 528% since 2016. But anyway… But what are you doing?
2. Macron, President
President of the old, and of the rich, therefore. Nice. We feel well represented all of a sudden, right? According to the words of the British weekly The Spectator, relayed by Courrier international: “The only age group in which the outgoing president came out on top, by far, is that of those over 65”. Thank you who? Thank you Brigitte and all her childhood buddies, so cute!
3. Having to stand on public transport
Little technique given by one of our readers: pretend to be hurt. Is this honest? Absolutely not. Is your karma likely to make you pay dearly for it? Absolutely. Is it worth the candle? Maybe…
4. Getting grilled on a public holiday every year to pay for their retirement
“The day of solidarity”, as they say. Take a good look at me! I have a face to be united, me? Give it back, and then we can talk about your back problems.
5. A climate that sucks after years of abundance
“Oulouloulou, I understand (yeah, you have to roll the “r’s”) rlink me, to your trill story, there! In my time, it was simpler! » Bah yeah, you surprise me that it was simpler, yeah. Nothing to give a damn about the Earth, the vida loca, carbon emissions and the depletion of natural resources galore, then now, we… We find ourselves in a mess. It votes Macron, but it rattles when you have to stop abundance, huh!
6. Afternoons explaining how a smartphone works to his grandparents
All this so that they continue to publish the private messages on our Facebook wall or that they send us 15 chains of messages a day…
7. La diffusion des fake news
A study published in Science Advances and carried out during the 2016 US presidential election, shows that people over 65 share up to 7 times more false information than young people (18-29 years old). We can’t say it enough: don’t believe everything you read online, but ABOVE ALL, don’t believe everything older people tell you. No, eating a packet of expired cake from the late 1950s is not without risk!
8. Some food poisoning
We’ll come back to this, but… Yeah grandma… If it says “to be consumed before September 24, 2010”, it’s not a good idea to serve it for lunch on November 20, 2022, what…
9. Beautiful homophobic arguments to oppose equal marriage
In the early 2010s, when the Law Commission finished examining the bill opening up marriage to homosexual couples, guess how many people in their fifties and over were opposed to it? 62%, ladies and gentlemen (according to the community site Quintonic.fr, dedicated to people aged 50 and over)… “Funny”, for people who, in the majority, lived through May 68. (Source)
10. Slippers
I don’t mind it being comfortable, but to a given… You have to respect yourself. Either, and his feet.
11. Organized tours
Who, apart from the over 60s, spend their holidays touring the city by bus, with a retired former history teacher who spits into a microphone “Aloooors, to your drooooite, the Montparnasse tower, because that it is on the place Montparnasseeee…. »? Who ?
12. Lunches that end at 6 p.m. on Sundays
What is this masquerade? There’s never a way to just come and eat at grandma’s and leave with a coffee in your stomach at 2 p.m.! NEVER ! You always have to take a day off to eat your roast, or spend a quarter of your weekend at a table!
13. The return of Michel Sardou on stage
You have to stop with this guy. Really. Let him move there to Connemara, and stop breaking our sweets, actually.
14. Lines in the supermarket on Saturdays
Where is the confederation of caddy maniacs, which orders all old people to meet on Saturdays, between the fish and cheese departments of the hyper U in my village? STOP, huh! That’s enough now !