Needless to say that millennials are those people born between 84 and 96 (more or less)? Well, if like me you are part of this strange population fed on boy bands and educated by TV, you will undoubtedly recognize these elements which define our generation and which are destined to die slowly with us. Strength.
1. The memory of a childhood without internet and the noise of the ADSL connection
“In my time we lived on not much, you know” Millennials often say when they come across a person who has the misfortune to be born in January 97. Let’s calm down guys, we still had TV and a whole bunch of very modern technologies for our old age. But if there is one thing that Generation Z won’t steal from us, it’s the heady noise of the laborious connection to ADSL.
2. Les Nokia 3310
If the mobile phone of our youth has experienced a vague return to hype, it’s a safe bet that its marketing will not survive us… Too bad because it would be less costly for the planet to live with rotten and not smart phones at all but OK.
3. The concept of listening to the radio
You know the thing that produces non-stop sound all day that’s almost komalatele but without the picture? The stuff that looks like a podcast but kind of never stops? Let’s be honest, if a few radical millennials still listen to France Inter and Europe 1, there is little chance that the next generations will remain loyal followers.
4. Passion for the 90s
And frankly, can we really be saddened by that? Let’s end this decade of hell once and for all.
5. Learn phone numbers by heart
And one would think that by releasing this area of our memory we would have learned much more useful and interesting stuff, but I assure you, it is not so. Personally, since I no longer memorize my new telephone contacts, I learn by heart the ISBN codes of the books I read, which is completely stupid. Luckily I don’t read more than one every 5 years.
6. But also phone calls
If many of us among the millennials hate phone calls (a rejection no doubt due to the trauma of our childhood which consisted of calling distant members of our family “to say hello” under the physical pressure of our parents), we are however the last guarantors of it. Only the messages will remain after us (can we still really talk about texting?) and perhaps the voices if this fashion does not end up dying out too.
7. Custom builds
You may not have made any more for a certain number of years (at least I wish you not) but compilations have necessarily animated part of your distant youth. It all started when we were made to buy Compil de l’été. It must be said that Hit Machine has a lot to do with our destruction of musical culture. And afterwards we are surprised that our worthy heirs are not screwed to listen to an album of one and the same artist in full.
8. Watch TV
But especially watching TV on Saturday mornings because that’s where there are cartoons and like all self-respecting millennials, we never agreed to pass the milestone of maturity so long awaited by our eternally disappointed parents. to have made kids fans of comics.
9. Tanning
Oh that. Skin cancer did not really exist in our collective imagination. That’s how we end up at 30 banks with white spots that come quietly to the border of the forehead and that now you can never again fuck yourself for three seconds in the sun without coating yourself with sunscreen index 50 every three minutes. Farewell ugly murderous tan.
10. Standard Heavy Dredge
The last generation has grown up in a pre-metoo world that involves some heaviness and many odds that are still too common. It may be utopian to think that a deconstructed sexuality will be the norm after us, but I want to believe in it since my heteronormative cis-tadel.
11. Meat consumption
Whether you like Sandrine Rousseau or not, you will have to accept it one day: we are the last to still consume meat, thinking that it is completely normal.
12. Good old fags
The electronic cigarette may have conquered the living rooms of the millennials, it is certainly the last generation that will put as much in the lungs. On the one hand because when the packets will cost 50 bucks apiece, we can imagine that the little youngsters will have something else to give a damn than to smack all their dough in there, on the other hand (and it’s not a good new) because new ways of smoking are emerging like the abominable phenomenon of puffs: a disposable electronic cigarette. Please don’t eat this shit, I’m not even talking about your health (you’re old enough to know what’s bad or very bad for you) but above all the ecological aberration that it represents.
14. Wired Headphones
I don’t know how long Bluetooth will work, but one thing is certain: it will leave us with just a dark memory of the earphone wires always tangled in your pockets which were your main source of depression in life (this was before we fuck hot summers, pandemics and war three blocks from us).