At Topito, our soldier Gagou, loved (even adored) by all, was injured. When we saw him arrive at work on crutches, believe us that our little hearts tightened, not to say… Broken. And that’s when Lise Gillet, source of inspiration and bottomless well of genius idea, exclaimed “Hey hop, great stuff we wanted to be small, but which are actually useless, like your crutches Gagoo! “. What a woman, this Lisou.
1. Crutches
From the outside, it looks fun to move by big jump on one foot, nice to have your bag carried and dodge all the sports sessions of the month. In fact, it doesn’t take more than 10 minutes of use for the plastic to burn your hands, the weight of your body to ruin your arms, and your snail’s pace to undermine your morale. Next time, try having only one splint, it’s more fun.
2. A cast
Waaaaw too bieeeeen, my cops will be able to write me lots of too cute words on it! I loooooove. Tututut, think again! In 3 days, two idiots will have drawn you there in red marker, you’ll want to tear off your cast as the urge to scratch will be strong, and above all: you’ll stink of macerated perspiration. Yum. At least, it will have left us with beautiful memories, this rotten plaster.
3. Braces
It’s teen in crisis, rebellious, and it’s just the same as our heroes on Disney Chanel and KD2A. Very cool ! In reality, it gives a silly smile, it hurts, it keeps a few scraps of food in reserve here and there, it excludes Carambars from your diet… We’ve had more fun, we’re not going to hide it. It’s not for nothing that braces rhyme with hassle, in fact.
4. A little brother / a little sister
You thought your parents would give you a new best friend to live with, and they finally created a monster that poops on itself, throws up when it eats, eats nooks and crannies, drooling on your clothes and crying at any time of the day or night. Thank you parents.
5. Responsibilities
So yeah, responsibilities are nice, but really when it’s confined to being a class representative, or having to erase the blackboard at the end of the day, what. When it starts to bother you at night, it’s immediately less funny.
6. Stop napping
Who would not pay dearly, today, for a siesta to be made compulsory in all companies in France, from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m.? Go set up a petition to impose the nap at work! I’ll take care of it after my nap.
7. A wheeled schoolbag
Which is nothing more, in the end, than a small cumbersome wheeled suitcase in bright colors. Stroll with your bag on wheels in the Parisian subway, and you will return very quickly to your good old Eastpak, it is promised.
8. An impressive collection of stamps or pebbles
Not sure that, if the evening of your first date, you present to the coveted person the extent of your collection of pebbles, that will make her crack. Conversely, don’t be too surprised if she finds a stupid excuse to run away quickly. Very quickly.
9. Get married
With children’s eyes, we simply see the princess dress or the BG costume, the dance party, the decorated old car, and the love. In real life, it’s above all a big loss of money, a lot of hassle and stress for 24 hours of celebration, a ball of false chips since your grandmother forced you to invite all the part of the family whose you nothing to do, and lots of paperwork. And I’m not even talking about the hassle of a divorce! Let’s hang a padlock on the Pont des Arts before it collapses, and seal our love in the most touristy of ways. Simple, economical, fun… What could be better, finally?
10. Be independent
“Haaaan I can’t wait to be big, to have my apartment and to do what I want”, told who wanted to hear the me version 15 years younger. Oh well, believe me that if I had discovered the paperwork, the overpriced shopping, the bills, the water damage, the disgusting landlords, the 6 floors without a lift and all the mess earlier, I might have thought differently, eh !
11. A bedroom decorated in New York City styleyyyy
So american. So New York. So kitsch. So bad taste (with the American accent). So not really too stylish, finally.
12. Quit School
“Yes, yes, I don’t want to go! It sucks! I don’t want to get up early! Madame Martin is horrible! Yesiiiiiiin! » STOP. Stop whining and enjoy. You have no responsibilities yet, no stress of filling the fridge, no annoying colleagues, traffic jams, no schedules that change all the time and vacations refused, besides, you are 16 weeks old school holidays (VS 5 for the average adult),… Stop complaining, learn to tie your shoelaces, and go play trap-trap. Quick.
13. A goldfish
Personally, I never managed to get any sign of affection from Bubulle. Nothing. Zero. Moreover, Bubulle 2, replacing the fire Bubulle was not more demonstrative. It is truly the least company pet on Earth.
14. A lover or a lover
Yuck.