Life is cool, especially when you’re doing cool stuff. But what’s less cool is when cool stuff is actually not so cool as the level of cool it should be. Yeah I denounce yeah. Here is the list of things that ask too much for the meager happiness they provide, like writing this top for example, because I know it will not fill me with as much joy as you and your beauty. Yes, yes, I think so.
1. Cleaning
Ahhhhh, the satisfaction of seeing the tiling of her shower wall shining, her shiny baseboards and those windows so transparent… Until you’re disgusting all the next day.
2. Puzzles
The joy of having finished your 3,000-piece jigsaw puzzle in less than six months quickly turns to dismay when you wonder what the hell you are going to do with this thing that has been occupying your dining table for far too long. Come on, cut the cord, put it all back in its box, it’s better for you, you’ll suffer less.
3. Eat healthy stuff
Already, eating healthy requires too much effort because it implies knowing how to read food labels correctly (even though you haven’t done bac + 10) and after that, you have to know how to cook all the products. sleazy that we just bought, but above all how not to break down and rush to the DoMac 10 minutes later. Yes, we’re happy after our first quinoa-goat cheese-kiwi salad because we feel like we’ve taken control of our lives. But it stops there.
4. Cooking in general
Have you ever tried making sushi at home? A lot of suffering for few results and above all, an appreciation rate of 6.5 on a scale of 1 to 38.
5. Debating politics with people
You may say “But siiiii, it’s so cool to debate with people who don’t have the same ideas as us”, we know very well that this excitement only lasts thirty seconds, until you realize that you will never agree and that you will just get upset for nothing. Great atmosphere, thank you.
6. I dominated them
All this skillfully mastered patient to place one by one the small pieces of plastic that you will smash a few minutes later in a movement of your knees a little too abrupt. It’s almost beautiful to see.
7. Eat langoustines
120 minutes of shelling for three minutes of kiff until you’re out of mayo and remember that now your fingers are going to smell like old shrimp for three days.
8. The couple
No, but yeah, the pleasure/effort ratio provided in the relationship is not really to the advantage of life together. Thanks, but no thanks.
9. Getting up every morning to go to work
Really little pleasure, but little little little what!
10. Les cocktails
No, but aren’t we better off with that good old rum/Coke for a good evening, huh? Rather than worrying about dosing, shaking, frothing your egg white and counting the ice cubes!
11. Attend your friends’ kid’s birthday party
Overall really very little fun for a lot a lot of effort. Luckily the brownie is there to catch up.
12. Play sports to look good
Well, we’re not going to lie to each other, it’s still really frustrating to bother doing 150 hours of sport a week, all to see the first results ten years later. Especially since once you’ve reached the good-looking stage, well, you feel obliged to do more and more sport to continue to be good-looking and you end up developing dysmorphism coupled with a weird addiction to ultimate. Thanks, but that wasn’t the basic deal.
13. Get your baccalaureate
We’ve all heard this “Noooo, but you’ll see, the baccalaureate is super important for your future”. Without messing around, two years of learning 15 kilos of lessons and hundreds of pages for that??? Thirty seconds of joy when you discover that you have it in front of the doors of your high school and presto, we forget all the sacrifices to continue with partials which are two baccalaureate per year??? The nerve !
14. Sex
Years of finding good contraception, hormones in one life mode because of the pill, fungal infections all the time, positions that are far too acrobatic and cause aches and pains… All that, for only 30 seconds (and again, I am generous) waves of pleasure from my ass. Enough is enough !
