The college, period of all the upheavals! In addition to the hairs, the breasts and the pimples that grow, we also discover what it is to have a teacher by subject, the happiness of the perms, the joy of this incalculable number of college students in a single classroom, and… Overseers (more commonly known as “pawns”). We’re not saying they’re all the same, we’re just saying that well, from one college to another, we’ve all had a cool one, a stupid one, a very stupid one, a weird one, a bg one,… right? I let you put a first name on each of these descriptions. I’m sure I’ll bring back fond memories for you. My favorite was Emilie, and the worst… Florent. And you?
1. Half pawn, half prison guard
His bedside book? The Rules. What does he do in his free time? Overtime, especially if it’s to supervise hours of glue. His catchphrase? “You’re stuck”, “Follow me in the principal’s office”, or “Give me your notebook”. His dream ? To be renewed for another year. His philosophy of life “The rule is the rule. If it should go straight, no question of limping! “.
“So, young lady, do we allow ourselves to ask our neighbor for an eraser all the time? At the headmaster, right away! »
2. The lax
His mantra: Don’t give a fuck. He is there for money and for… money. The rules of procedure, the hierarchy, the pupils, the rules, the timetables, the hotlines, the administration, all that… Bah… He doesn’t give a damn. Dry. He will not be renewed next year, his colleagues can no longer see him in painting, but the students like him. He was the only one to answer “ah ok” when a top of the class says that we are putting on cigarettes in the toilet. We will miss him.
His conception of work, in one image
3. The Buddy Pawn
Even though “buddy pawn” is a fun enough word to say, the pawn that wants to be friends with everyone is usually particularly awkward. No, Arthur, it’s not cool to arrive in the middle of a group of ninth graders yelling “so, how are you guys? Come on, hit me five handsome! You want extra in the canteen? By the way, I’m having a party tonight, are you coming? ” Stopped. Please. You bother everyone. Do you know that 5 parents of students filed a handrail against you?
“Heeeeey lunches, I’m counting you for tonight’s party or what??? »
4. The one who stinks from the beak
But he does it consistently! Morning, noon, evening, Monday to Friday. The advantage is that with him, the students keep to themselves… Report to the fact that everyone does everything to prevent him from opening his mouth. Especially not to shout. Well done Maurice. It’s a questionable technique in terms of hygiene, but for the rest… It works!
“Why do you all hold your noses when I speak? Is it still a Toktok trend? »
5. He/she who has the authority of an oyster
A stale and stunted oyster, even. The one who shouts without anyone hearing him, who threatens to go to the CPE without anyone ever believing him, and who regularly reads personal development books. His last Google search: “how to get respect from cheeky teenagers? “. In truth… It’s not super funny. The guy usually ends up leaving the establishment in the middle of the year, by dint of being bullied by little demons not even 15 years old. Stop it, it sucks. You will be ashamed later.
“Can you untie me, please?” Come on, stop now, I’ll tell the CPE”
6. The Good Sister
Aka, the one who spends her life separating couples, and who makes sexist and backward reflections on girls who wear dresses or t-shirts that are a little low-cut. Seriously, Geraldine… What the fuck do you care if I hold Steven’s hand in the hallways, anyway?
“Lord, may young people be touched by grace, and preserve themselves from any love affair that does not lead to a union”
7. The one who sells hash to students
Business is business. You’re not saying I’m giving you weed, and I’m not telling your parents that you smoke. From an ethical point of view… Bouarf… There you go… But in terms of coverage, it’s hard to do better! Alright yeah.
“HOW IS IT A PION WHO GAVE YOU THIS TO RELAX?” »
8. The Real Nice One
The one who takes his time to help you understand a boring course, who allows you to go to the self-catering at the same time as your friends, who comes to see you when you look sad, and who drops his little tear when the third leave college. A real cute little apple. We need more like this!
“There you go: all you have to do is apply the Pythagorean theorem, on the square root of the hypotenuse of the exponent of the result of the application of the Thales theorem!” It’s quite simple. »
9. The one who has his favorites
And who does not hide it! In itself, he acts like the good guy, but only with a very narrow circle of people. With the others, he acts as the prison guard pawn. So, bah… Either, you are part of the elite, and inevitably, it is your favorite. Either, you are in the other camp, and inevitably: you hate it. Over all.
“I hate all the students except you hehehe. »
10. The athlete
It is he who organizes football or basketball activities at lunchtime. Generally, he is more determined and happy to participate in the activities than the middle school students themselves. In itself, it’s cute, but… It gets a bit awkward when he forgets that the goal is to exert himself, not to make half his team cry when they lose. Come on, let’s calm down and refocus: the important thing is? Of his… ? Having fun…? NO KEVIN, FUN, NOT WINNING, DAMN!!!
” The most important ? Shave the little idiots of the Jean Jaurès college at the next Olympics! »
11. The Medievalist
Rather discreet temperament, carefully tied ponytail and proudly sported metalhead t-shirt: only the students of the theater group really know him. Moreover, he asks his little budding actors to nickname him “Lancelot du bahut”, to handle humor, history and jargon of djeuns. Quite a bit of a train, this Lancelot! The little extra: he is more than strong in history (compared to the fact that he is in doctorate next to his work) and will have no trouble making your DM for you. Always have a Lancelot in your life, ALWAYS.
« LanceloooOOOoot you bahuuuUUUt »
12. The one who flirts with students
And who forgets that legally, flirting with a 14 year old child when you are 25, it does not pass. Can the profile of pawn number 1 take care of giving him a little reminder of the rules of procedure and the legal texts, please?
“Zaluuuut girls, who wants my instaaa? It’s @keep-calm-and-be-pion-sexy-tmtc”
13. The repressed librarian
Profile: colorful clothes, preferably from the Desigual brand. Small rectangular glasses, second-hand vegan leather bag and rather discreet personality. If you make mistakes, she won’t give you lines to copy, but rather a novel to read and a reading sheet to complete. In perm, drinking coffee is out of the question! For her, it’s herbal tea, from morning to night. On a little madness, she can let herself be fooled by a little jasmine tea… But in moderation! His favorite day: handing over textbooks at the end of the year. The opportunity to touch books all day, and to access CDI stocks… His paradise on earth, in short.
“I am a book. Victor Hugo himself said “A book is someone”, so… Doesn’t someone have the right to be a book? To meditate. »
14. The one who capsizes hearts
The service bg that suddenly makes you want to grow too fast. Fast enough to be able to declare your flame and live your love in broad daylight, without judgment and in all legality. Unfortunately, he/she has nothing to do with our face and already shares his life with a person of his age, just as hot. Life isn’t easy when you’re 14.
“What do I like best about my job? The poems I receive in my locker. Too mims these pitchous! »
15. The one we take for a student
Well yeah, but hey… He looks very young, what. Typically the same person who is still asked for his identity card at the bar and at the tobacconist, when he is 23 years old and he no longer even has the “A” on his cash register. Poor little father.
“But I juuuuuure you that I am major, bug! »