Tips Clear News Portal Your Ultimate Guide to Clear Tips on Life, Tech, Health, and More Hi little friends, it’s time for the top twittos! Today is the turn of @DrakeGatsby to offer us good slices of laughter and it must be said that his tweets are really funny. If you don’t find it funny, go watch compilations of “Just for Laughs” on Youtube, what else do you want me to tell you…
1. I thought I was getting sick but it’s just that I haven’t eaten a single vegetable for 9 days
2. Google Maps: Arrival at destination
Me: Oh I took a wrong turn
Google Maps: Drive 5km and turn right
Me: Can’t I just turn around?
Google Maps: Drive 15km, turn left twice and right once
Me: Seems a bit overkill
Google Maps: Stop to the side and think about what you’ve done
3. All cooking recipes should start with “wash the dirty dishes lying around in the sink because you’re going to need them”
4. Imagine grabbing a condom off the nightstand using this
5. “No one wants to work these days” Personally, I’ve never wanted to work
6. I’ll show this to a baby and watch him have an existential crisis.
Click on each image that contains an airplane
7. If I were a millionaire, I would make my wildest dreams come true like buying raspberries when they weren’t on sale.
8. “Your cat would eat your body if you died” you’re right little man, get all those vitamins I don’t blame you
9. “An update is available, would you like to install it now?” Kiss my ass. Rather die.
10. I’m writing a letter to Santa now because I don’t want to be that kind of friend who only checks in when he needs something
11. The only thing that gets me up for the week is knowing that something I ordered online is going to be delivered soon.
12. I parked too far from the pump at the gas station. I’ll try again tomorrow, I don’t need gas that bad
13. Future employer: Where do you see yourself in… / Me, cutting him off: In a mirror
14. Saying “What a big ballsucker…” when my best man makes his speech at my wedding.
15. Me: It’s so beautiful outside, warm and sunny. I feel really good, nothing can ruin it / My allergies: Hey you stupid moron
If you want to have more fun, you can follow @DrakeGatsby on Twitter. And you can follow Topito also while you’re at it.