Having colleagues is good, but having friendly colleagues is better. However, it is not given to everyone, because on this planet, many of us suffer from the dislike of the people we work with. And I can tell you that at the editorial staff of Topito, hatred is daily, no one can be offended. If you still have doubts about the love your colleagues have for you, here’s something to detect the amount of pheromones in the air when you’re with them.
1. No one eats the breakfasts you bring
You may vary the pleasures with brioches, pains au chocolat, cookies and Viennese baguettes, nothing helps: no one wants to touch your food, even with a stick.
2. Sometimes managers have meetings with the whole team without inviting you and tell you “I promise, we’re not talking about you”
And they come out of the meeting saying “hush, hush” laughing. It’s true that she looked funny this meeting not on you.
3. Your office neighbor always bumps into your chair when he gets up to pee
When you point it out, he says “Oh sorry, I’m going to be careful”, and starts again 30 minutes later.
4. No one organized a party to celebrate your permanent employment
In fact, no one had noticed (even you, you ended up doubting this promotion).
5. Half of your co-workers still call you “the new one” even though you’ve been in the club for four years.
The odds that they don’t know your first name are 150%.
6. When someone offers coffee, they always forget to pour you a cup.
“Ah, but we thought you were more tea! Except that there is no kettle in the office.
7. None of them came to your birthday
However, they wish you almost every two months even if you repeat to them each time that you are Cancer.
8. They always take their holidays at the same time as yours
And each time, your boss takes you aside to ask you if you really need to leave at that time, because there company would really need you.
9. They use your office as a dumping ground for their belongings and trash.
You’ve started to make a drawer of found objects because your colleagues don’t even remember what belongs to them (so far you’ve won a polka-dot scarf, used cinema tickets, a hairbrush and leftover cereal moldy).
10. They organized a corporate photo shoot the day you were on TT
To make amends, they added your face to the group photo by Photoshopping a photo of you drunk taken without your knowledge during the Christmas party.
11. They all go out to eat when you bring your food back.
When you offer to follow them and eat your dish tomorrow, they insist that you don’t let it go moldy and explain the cold chain to you.
12. There are suspicious thefts at the office but the victim is always you
Strangely, when meal tickets disappear, people give you suspicious looks while it’s always yours that are stung first.
13. They always throw away the food you kept in the fridge because it’s “expired”.
Even your orange juice that you drank yesterday in front of their eyes.
14. You’re strangely the only one to be in video when there are meetings
However, you were told that it really wasn’t worth moving, that it was better for you to stay at home.
15. Nobody is ever keen to test the restaurants you offer
Too bad, he looked very nice this new little Lebanese…