As much as there are plenty of good reasons to wear glasses, a visit to the ophthalmologist is not one of them. Unfortunately, all the big short-sighted people on this planet have already had to go there and experience very special moments that only miros can relate. If you too have -3/10 in each eye, you know what I’m talking about. Come on, put on your glasses, we’re looking at this.
1. Looking at the little hot air balloon without really understanding how it works
Ah it makes you want to travel huh! But if someone could explain the concept to us, that would be nice (yes ok, it’s to measure our correction, but still??).
2. Not seeing the diff when asked which lens you feel best with
Your ophthalmologist may make you try the two glasses ten times so that you can see which one suits you best, you clearly respond at random (and you always choose the worst).
3. Crying because of the machine blowing into the eye and refraining from insulting the ophthalmologist
This device was obviously used by very ferocious torturers in times of war. No doubt about it.
4. Wear ten-kilo ugly glasses to test lots of glasses
At that point, you pray that your ophthalmologist isn’t the mother of your crush and that she doesn’t tell him about the ass head you had with that machine.
5. Hesitate between H and M when reading small letters, not easy anyway
The last time I saw this blurry was when I had three grams of rum in each arm.
6. Going to bluff by confidently saying a letter at random when you only see a blurry spot
Even the ophthalmologist believed it so much you said it with a lot of confidence. So much charisma, it’s rare.
7. Telling ourselves that we must look stupid with our eyes hidden
Remember that we will always look less stupid than when we wore a mask with a drawing of a toy car on the right eye in kindergarten.
8. Having to be accompanied because you put drops and you see everything blurry
Yeah, your roommate once held your hand at a crosswalk so you wouldn’t die before you got to your date.
9. Waiting two hours in the waiting room while being the first patient of the afternoon
Maybe your ophthalmologist himself is late because he was waiting for his ophthalmologist, who knows?
10. Crying while paying a €60 excess fee because it was the only appointment available in the next eight months
That was where you plunge your head into a basin of acid to try to calm your ophthalmic migraines.
11. Respond “I see” to the explanations of the ophthalmologist and laugh internally
What is the height for an ophthalmologist? Being taken into custody, mdrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Unbelievable.
12. Find it awkward to read stuff out loud when you haven’t since middle school
It was in sixth grade, when you were reading Friday or Wild Life and you already had ugly glasses with yellowed pads.
13. Putting your chin and forehead on the device, wondering if they were really cleaned before
Think of the oozing and greasy foreheads of the people you met in transport before coming. Feel the sheaf pointing the tip of his nose.
14. Telling yourself that this little chin and forehead support is still comfortable
Is there a way to import some into the office? It would still be so much more practical to work on, wouldn’t it? There’s a business to be set up, that’s for sure.
15. Struggling to put the parrot in its cage while squinting
Fuckin’ piaf, you’re going home yes????