Well, we have to stop with all these taboos, huh! Life is not a romantic comedy, actually. We all fart, we all burp, and we all do weird things, but which would be less weird, if we assumed we were all doing the same. You see what I mean ? Nope ? But stop to act like we said!!!
1. Farting in public
Who has never dropped a small cash box on the job, in a supermarket, or in the middle of a French course? Who ? In any case, when there’s gas, you have to let go! As my grandmother says: “Fart contained, boil at Q! »
2. Pick your nose
And be particularly satisfied to detach this kakine fiercely clinging to your nasal wall. A personal satisfaction that we don’t talk about enough, right?
3. Being too lazy to reply to a message, and using a bogus excuse afterwards
“Ah sorry, I thought I had pressed send”… But yes of course… We believe you… (Also works when you let your phone ring on purpose, then text the sender 20 minutes later for him say “Ohhh sorry, I missed your call!”). Fake ass that we all are.
4. …Or pretending to have watched the video sent by your friend, when not
“AHAHAH excellent man, thank you for this video! Laughter bar! “. Either it was really funny, and your friend will see nothing but fire. Either it’s a report on the misery in the world, and you’ll come across as a very bad person, and possibly destroy a friendship. This is the risk to take in the name of laziness and tranquility.
5. Having Intrusive Thoughts/Impulse Phobias
What I am about to tell you will perhaps reassure you: we ALL have intrusive thoughts, more or less violent. We’ve all wondered “hey, what happens if I swerve to the right? “, “Hey, if I jumped from these 10 meters high, what would it do? “, etc. You are not crazy, you are not dangerous, you are not an abominable person. You simply suffer from these thoughts, which are unfortunately taboo, which makes you think that you are the only one in this situation. It’s wrong. A lot of people around you have already had this type of event, at different intensities. What you need to know is that impulse phobias never lead to acting out: moral rigor feeds impulse phobia on the one hand, but protects us on the other.
6. Look up the words a person uses while kind of understanding
“Ah yeah, you’re right, so good to pandicate in the morning when you wake up!” “. Also works for celebrities that everyone is talking about around you, but you don’t have a clue who these people are.
7. Re-read/look at own posts, comments and posts
Why ? No idea. Who has never done it, at least once?? Nobody. Why don’t we take it?? Boarf, perhaps the somewhat megalomaniac side of the thing.
8. Smell our sweater to know if “it’s okay, I can put it back”
Best technique for slicing: no smell, it’s clean. Smell, I wash. Hey there!
9. Tear off scabs
There’s no more disgusting phrase than “tear off the scabs”. However, there is nothing more satisfying than doing it! Why do you think your little wounds always leave you with scars? Bah precisely, because you tear off all that! Good appetite to those who read us during the lunch break, of course.
10. Talk to ourselves out loud
It is often to yell at ourselves. As if our brain would better understand its error if this same brain explained to it that it was not good. Yeah, we’re not always helped by life.
11. Rejoicing that a party is canceled, but pretending otherwise
” What ? Am I going to be able to stay under my plaid, quiet, talk to no one, drink hot chocolate and watch a rotten TV movie? Oh nooooooo, so sad! »…
12. Kicking the thing you just dropped, instead of picking it up
Hey hop, the ice cube under the fridge, the crumb under the furniture, and the sock under the bed. Neither seen nor known.
13. Modify a word in a text, because you don’t know how to spell it
Among ? Among? Among ? (No, don’t overdo it, though.)
14. Pee in the shower
Rooooh, we really make mountains of insignificant things!! Besides, it’s not even our fault, it’s our brain that associates the sound of water with the need to urinate! Come on, we stop the manners, and we link the useful to the pleasant. The planet will only be more grateful to you.
15. Spy on people on social media
Small tips: avoid going to check the profile of your potential recruiter on LinkedIn (this network from hell), before an interview. Report to the fact that he will receive a notification to warn him of your passage on his profile! In terms of discretion, we have known better.