Life is made up of little daily hassles, more or less re-hired. If in some cases, we are all in the same basket (and a basket that is not in good shape, if you ask me), tell yourself that there is always worse. I swear. So think for 5 seconds about the life of left-handed people, in this world only designed for right-handed people. We’ll have to stop bullying them, they have a heart too!! (Placed on the left, by the way.)
1. Mugs
You crack and treat yourself to this superb cup with a totally crossed-out inscription like “I’m a fairy, the fairy doesn’t shit before my coffee” (mddddr too funny, right?). Hard blow: as on the vast majority of cups, the handle is on the right. You are therefore obliged to turn it to seize it with your left hand, and deprive all your colleagues of this distinguished tableware. It’s really not fair. (To console you, we still got you this SPECIAL left-handed mug. Giftuuu!)
2. Gates in the metro
Think for a second about your last metropolitan getaway. Which side was the card/ticket reader on? Yep, right. Nice little morning contortion for our left-handed friends.
3. The gear lever
Already that manual gearboxes are a hassle to understand when you start driving, imagine when in addition, the lever is placed on the side of the hand with which you are less skilled! Hell.
4. …And the cup holder
As luck would have it, it is ALSO placed to the right of the driver! Drink your coffee without giving a fuck everywhere or drive, you have to choose.
“Come on, hop there, contort right to get my drink back”
5. Ladles with a spout
Normally, these objects are supposed to make our life easier, by preventing us from putting them everywhere. The spout is designed to reduce the flow of liquid, which, on paper, allows you to pour yourself a glass of punch from a rotten tumbler without getting it on your fingers. Obviously, for left-handers, the beak is found at the top, and is of no use, except to promote your chances of pouring half on your sleeve. Owl.
6. Spiral Notebooks
What a delicious sensation to feel those damn metal circles sinking gradually and in no way delicately into our wrist.
7. Chalkboards
What could be more counterproductive than this invention? For a left-handed person, the mathematical rule is not very complicated to understand: as he writes, his arm erases the previous words. Dear teachers, be nice, don’t send your little lefties to the blackboard. Out of respect for their work and their dignity. Thanks.
“Hello galley, yeah”
8. Pens at your banker
Basically, pens are left-handed people’s anguish. Keep your hands clean after a dictation? Mission almost impossible! BUT THERE IS EVEN WORSE! You know, those pesky pens attached to their bases by a little cable or an ugly little chain… It’s already not very practical, but for left-handed people, signing a sheet turns into a real challenge! They can’t put longer wires, seriously?
9. Zippers
Right-handed people already struggle to fit the two parts of the zip together, but then when you don’t have good control with your right hand… Buy jackets with press studs, it’s easier.
10. Basically, all clothes, in fact
We talk about zips, but in reality… Necklaces, bracelets, watches, belts, jeans or jacket buttons,… EVERYTHING is hell and requires superhuman effort for left-handed people. Live naked or in joggs, you don’t do iech.
11. Can openers
Especially those with a small wheel to turn!!!! It’s enough to whet your appetite.
12. Joysticks
And not only play, in fact. Xbox, Wii,… ON ALL CONTROLLERS, the important buttons are on the right! Say it if you want to disqualify this whole community out of the gate, actually.
13. Tables in certain amphitheaters
Maiiis siiii, you know! These chairs absolutely not comfortable, decked out with a small tablet! You can find them in a whole bunch of universities, and guess what? Yes, the tablet is ALWAYS on the right.
14. Office chair joysticks
Did you think that once the school benches were behind you, you would never have any sitting problems again? Well no, surprise! Once in working life, you will discover (not without some annoyance) that the levers for adjusting the height of your seat are systematically on the right. What a pleasure !
15. Your classmates’ pairs of scissors
Of course, there are special left-handed ones. But if you have the misfortune to forget them at home, don’t count on your comrades to save you the day! At worst, they won’t either. At best, they will lend you their right-handed scissors, and there… A real ordeal begins. Courage, and try as much as possible not to leave too big a fingertip there.
16. Card Games
When the sign is noted on the 4 ends, no worries. But if, as quite often, it is only noted in the upper left corner and the lower right, things get complicated. No matter how much you turn them around, the result will be the same when you slip your deck into your left hand: you won’t see anything. Small game of president, with the real rules, but blind. Let’s go.