If you hadn’t noticed that every year you take on a few wrinkles and that your naturally fresh and dapper complexion becomes gray and dull, that your carelessness has given way to bitterness and the fear of an approaching death, it’s because you are clearly in denial of old age. Admittedly, at 25, we can say that you still have a few good years left, but I have to tell you that you have put your first foot in the grave and there are a lot of things that you can no longer do. do at your old age. That’s enough now you have to grow up.
1. The look you proudly sported at 15
15 years was already ten years ago and not only have you evolved but the world around you has evolved too. It’s now or never to distance yourself from those dark clothes that adorned your teenage wardrobe.
2. Being ashamed of your tastes
Yeah well OK at 20, you still have trouble assuming your tastes (mainly because they are shitty tastes) but at 25 there is no longer any question of living in shame. You have grown up, you have gained in self-confidence, in general culture and in asserting your personality so even if you still have shitty tastes you are now entitled to assume them, well done.
3. Call your parents to ask where your bills are.
So you won’t like it but I have something not nice to tell you… It’s neither sexy, nor funny, nor cute to be a big burden in life after 25 years unable to organize a minimum and obliged to ask his parents for money because he lost his phone three times in the same month. It’s time to take things in hand. And when I write this moralizing old bitch message, know that I address it first and foremost to myself.
4. Not cleaning up your shit
Not doing the housework, not doing the dishes, messing things up everywhere you go without ever tidying up a little bit after you, it’s not only a lazy attitude but above all an idiot attitude. We forgive you a lot of things at 20 years that we won’t forgive you at all at 25 so grab this sponge and do your dishes son of a fiac.
5. Have an “Anarchy” sticker on your smartphone
In principle, you’re a little less dumb at 25 (watch out because there’s a short-lived window until you’re 30 and then you’ll be dumb again, and on the right). So you should have understood that anti-capitalist markers are completely irrelevant to conspicuous signs of capitalism. So your cardboard rebellion you put it in the foundation and if you want to be a real resistant of the modern world, stop posting stories of your ass on Instagram.
6. Go camping during a festival
It’s an understatement that you’re much too old for this bullshit.
7. Start a career as a gymnast
I don’t want to make you depressed, but if you were planning to become a contortionist or participate in the next acrobatic gym Olympics, a priori if you didn’t start training at the age of 5, it’s bad luck. But it does not matter eh you can do the gym quietly nobody asked you to have a medal.
8. Ecouter Tryo
I’m not judging you, you’re not the only one to have gone through this terrible musical phase by getting lost in the abyss of the groups we listened to as teenagers but are ashamed of today. Admittedly, I said above that at 25 you could finally assume your tastes, but that’s no reason to have the same tastes as you had before. Evolve a bit for damn it.
9. Have a comforter
I’m sorry to break the mood but it was already creepy to have it still at 20 years old so at 25 it’s downright creepy. I don’t know where this strange fashion comes from, which consists of keeping one’s cuddly toys even as adults… I wonder what that says about our society… are we going to end up believing in Santa Claus again?
10. Sing Disney music in the evening
“Gnagnagna I love Disney songs I’ve never known anything better in my life gnagnagna come let’s put them ALL” that’s typically the kind of balls-kissing phrases you can hear in the evening after a certain hour.
11. Go clubbing
A sticky floor, overpriced cocktails, oily guys who smell too much of deodorant, a smoking area that kills you in less than two minutes, rotten electro music that you can just dance to in repetitive movements without no form of grace. Who can still want to spend an evening in a club after 25 years?
12. Say “dad” and “mom” to tell other people about your parents.
We haven’t said anything about the fact that you already called your parents “papounet” and “mamounette” but hey, it’s the private sphere so ok, let’s let it flow. In public you will do me the pleasure of holding you a little.
13. Bring Montbazillac when asked to bring wine
You pack me your big syrupy piss-colored shit and you go get me a good biodynamic wine bought at the wine shop, no, but where are we?
14. Overall, drink one of those crappy liquors: Manzana, Malibu, Despe, and any cherry-flavored beer.
Just writing them is freaking me out. Give me pet ‘nat’ that it will pass everything.
15. Talking about your baccalaureate grades
“Yeah yeah I had 15 in philosophy”. But TG in fact, do you really think that we still have something to do with your baccalaureate grades supposed to validate your intelligence? well no. Besides, if you ironed it there right after your baccalaureate, you surely wouldn’t have it.
16. Say “zézette” again
FYI, you’re not supposed to use that expression since you were 12 already.
17. Thumb sucking
And I would say even worse: sucking his friend’s thumb. No, but where do you think you are? Need to grow a little.
18. Smoking cigarettes to fit in
On the one hand, it’s not at all fashionable today to smoke (but don’t start smoking Puffs, it’s not your age either and it’s person’s age, just of the age of idiots in a pinch) but in addition if you start smoking at 25 years old just to be a cooler person it’s really that you’re wrong all along the line.