Food is not just a matter of tastes and colors. There are foods that spoil a dish and foods that have a texture to puke. That’s a fact. If I had to eat exclusively the foods on the following list, I would rather choose to drink only tuna juice for the rest of my life. Because these foods are simply filthy to eat. Bidet scrapings from the fridge. The poop bags from our shopping. And I weigh my words.
1. Canned Button Mushrooms
If the “scouish-scouish” was a wish, I would have taken Quebec cheese for Poutine. I just wanted to eat vegetables and I end up with an imitation slug, who do I have to thank??
2. Rice pudding
Just imagining this dessert, I’m on the brink of puking on it. What pleasure can one derive from it, I ask you, apart from having the impression of eating milk with lumps.
3. Spinach with cream
Like the impression of eating wet and moldy salad for two months while tasting spinach with cream. Go it’s good, spin me a basin.
4. Apricot
Can you get any weirder than the texture of apricot? A fruit that is both dry and hairy, without any juice, which nevertheless tastes good. Like what, it’s not just the physical that counts.
5. Stirred plain yogurts
I personally have nothing against these types of natural yoghurts, but it’s true that after having spoken about it with several people around me (that is to say two colleagues), I understand that we can confuse this food with a little late-night vomit.
6. Dumplings
This specialty may be the pride of Lyon, but I have a little trouble understanding that they defend it body and soul when its texture is matched only by pasty white pudding.
7. White clementine threads
EEEEEEEWWWWWWWW.
8. Beef tongue
I can’t believe that they give beef tongue to children in the canteens by forcing them to taste it. Even an adult can’t consent to eat this.
9. Flambies
So the flamby’s are very good huh, don’t make me say what I didn’t say. But we can not deny that their texture is more gerbos. Even their fun side when unmolding won’t make me change my mind, sorry.
10. Octopus
Yes, I have already bitten into a tire and yes, I actually had the impression of savoring a small octopus (with a slightly more pronounced bitumen taste all the same).
11. Lychees
Lychees may be a tasty and exotic fruit, but they are still really bad to eat. I think the core has a lot to do with this rotten taste experience.
12. Chickpeas
Twin brothers of white beans, they have the particularity of being covered with a small skin which gives the impression that they have dental plaque on the epidermis.
13. Kidneys
I won’t go so far as to say that the kidneys are good (it’s like animal kidney, huh). But it is obvious that the horrible feeling that invades us when we bite into a kidney absolutely does not make us want to make a slice of it for breakfast. Yeah, I say the terms, yeah.
14. Passion Fruit
Already, we are on a fruit that is far too strong for what it is. But above all, its texture gives the impression of chewing fish eggs full of crispy little fetuses. Yeah, I know, it’s gross, but look, I didn’t create the passion fruit.
15. Boudoirs
I am still looking for the interest of this biscuit which is good neither dry nor soaked.
16. Runny Omelets
No, but in fact, if I wanted to eat an uncooked egg, I would have simply opened the shell in my mouth, it’s not more complicated.
17. Liver mousse
In addition to being made from a not very appetizing food that is duck liver, the mousse also had to have a filthy texture in badly whipped cream mode. Cherry on the Garonne, the liver mousse is also surrounded by good, juicy fat. Pure delight.
18. Oysters
If you’ve never swallowed your own molard, taste an oyster and you’ll understand what it feels like.
19. Guts
Having never had the immense chance to taste this succulent dish, I will quote only one colleague: “We are between the hot water bottle, the gum and the putty for the bathtub”. That’s all you need to know.
20. Pebbles
Cha crouchtille cabbage the tooth.