Tips Clear News Portal Your Ultimate Guide to Clear Tips on Life, Tech, Health, and More Hi little friends, another great week is starting! First of all, happy October (because any excuse is good to turn a normal day into a celebration of life) and welcome to this week’s top tweets. We know that you are impatiently waiting for this moment and we go to great lengths to select the crème de la crème of tweets, those with a lot of humor and fat. Good tasting !
MONDAY SEPTEMBER 26
1. “But what is he doing here??”
2. In pajamas under the duvet
3. It’s hard to imagine a more ridiculous death than being beaten to death with a candlestick in a library by a guy named Colonel Mustard.
4. Termites on Twitter
Let’s eat Jerry’s house, it looks delicious!
Ok – ok – ok – ok
TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 27
5. Would be about saving energy
6. Do you prefer soup or raclette?
WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 28
7. Why it looks like they’re going to start a podcast
8. Everyone makes an effort
9. Can’t wait for them to tell us that they take showers and not baths
10. Graphic design students cry blood
11. Prince George says to his classmates: “My father is going to be king so you better watch out”, so Prince George is a mini Draco Malfoy
THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 29
12. It’s true that people in shorts in winter always make us laugh.
13. “We actually met before” Okay well I don’t remember you. Have you ever thought about being more memorable and less insignificant?”
14. To err is human but this is abused
FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 30
15. It didn’t make sense to bring out the first film in theaters.
16. My wedding didn’t even make it to my sister’s September Instagram carousel but her Starbucks order did.
17. A little genius
18. My 7 year old daughter told me that Jeremy gave her all the answers at school. As the conversation progressed, I realized that it was her brain that she had called Jeremy”
SATURDAY 1ST OCTOBER
19. I would have cried too
20. “He should take over the role of Christian Grey” so…
21. Best of all punchlines
22. Me: *Opens the fridge* / Bag of broccoli: Please… / Me: *Closes the fridge*
23. The good ass as we like it
24. Bad timing, it’s really bad luck
SUNDAY OCTOBER 2
25. Timothée Chalamet is the new Benedict Cumberbatch because you can say any word that sounds a bit like and we understand who you’re talking about. Tiffany Chevy. Timpanogos Charlemagne. Symphony Cabernet. Jiminy Castaway
26. When I learn that my family ate something good when I was not there
Come on, it’s time to eat so I’ll leave you. Have a nice week and start thinking about your Halloween costume (it’s soon).