Top 20+ tweets that made us laugh this week #466

Hello friends, it’s time for the top tweets of the week! You are lucky, very lucky because this selection could never have seen the light of day. Indeed, our beautiful site fell in battle for a morning and after a long battle against the 503 error, our web warriors managed to save it. Knowing all this, you better enjoy and like, comment, share… you know the song.

MONDAY NOVEMBER 21

1. No effort

every time I drive I think of my driving instructor Pascal what would he fuck me up if he saw me driving like that
— Sasou (@sasouumk) November 21, 2022

2. “I would so much like to quit my job so I can focus on my true passion, which is sleeping”

i wish i could quit my job so i can focus on my true passion which is sleeping
— IG: closedapp (@ih8rts) November 21, 2022

3. We see people gifted in fractions

It’s completely stupid to call it a four quarter. We should have called it a
— PHT (Par Roady) (@TelePeach) November 21, 2022

4. “If we organize Euro 2028, we should put his gay sex scenes in the opening ceremony and tell people who are not happy that they have to respect our culture”

if we get euro 2028 we should put rough gay sex in the opening ceremony and tell anyone who doesn’t like it to respect our culture
— alice (@alice_the_saint) November 21, 2022

5. The biggest discomfort of the year

I find you very hard with the video of Mcfly and Carlito I really laughed when
— syl (@syylllia) November 21, 2022

7. 6 euros the normal cigarette

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 22

8. The classic

There’s my neighbor on the 5th floor who knocked to tell me “tonight I’m making a raclette” I said yes with pleasure when in fact he just wanted an extra chair for his guests
— la meuf là (@niemesia) November 22, 2022

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 23

9. Floppy Gold

Phrase contest to answer if a guy hits on you with his moldy floppy disks:
“Hey, wouldn’t you be a soup? Because you look super miso”
– ???? (@bleaching) November 23, 2022

10. Imagine you go to the restaurant with Elon Musk he makes you pay your share

I will remember all my life this colleague who earned 7000 euros and who made me pay for a pizza that we shared in proportion to what I had eaten on it when I was an intern.
— plaguemasked ? (@masquedelapeste) November 23, 2022

11. Of Course It Matters

Two important things to discuss BEFORE moving in with someone that will avoid a lot of arguments:
1/ sharing of common expenses (rent, bills etc.), 50-50 or each according to their income
2/ if spitting on the floor and rubbing with a paper towel counts for mopping
— John Marshall Bolt ? (@marechalboulon) November 23, 2022

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 24

12. Happy Thanksgiving !

“Remember that Demi Lovato moment?

– Farm Sanctuary : Turkeys are smart, outgoing animals that love to be taken care of, just ask Demi Lovato!

– Story de Demi Lovato :

13. Five, six, seven AND eight?

Why do dancers count down from 5 to 8???? “5,6,7,8”
What is your project ?
— Alix (@GroussetAlix) November 24, 2022

14. You have to flee at the first signs

If you think you’ve had awkward moments as a couple, know that I dated someone who was a first-degree fan of the minions and who spoke like them IRL
At 24 years old.
— Louise (@AmeEnSoie) November 24, 2022

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 25

15. They must really understand nothing

Chien : *brings a stick inside*

Moi : No, it has to stay outside

Me at Christmas: *brings a whole tree inside*

Chien : What is this mess ?

dog: [brings sticks inside]
me: no that belongs outside
me, at Christmas time: [brings entire tree inside]
dog: what the actual shit is this
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) November 25, 2022

16. Want to go to the office by helicopter

It’s like I’m going from my bedroom to my kitchen on a fucking scooter
— Maximaxime (@MaxiMaxime) November 25, 2022

19. It vomits in the scred sandwich

The worst in subway work isn’t work, it’s @DOBBERMAN’s order people how does it barbecue raclette olive tuna
— Forest Bamboo (@Bamboussse) November 25, 2022

20. “I just learned that my father’s nice text messages telling me “You’re the best”, it’s actually one of the three automatic replies offered in his Toyota Rav4″

just learned that all of the “You’re the best!” texts my dad sends me are one of three quick reply options in his Toyota Rav4
— christain? (@boyruminating) November 25, 2022

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 26

21. “My parents left their villages in Greece to give us a better life and all I want is to go and live in a village in Greece”

My parents left their villages in Greece to give us a better life and now all I want to do is live in a village in Greece.
— Eva Basilion (@EBasilion) November 26, 2022

22. He’s a teacher of sentences to post in Insta description I think

my psychology teacher told me one day ”Love is the most beautiful thing
To love is to rise so high
And touch the wings of birds” & I think everyone should know that
— GeoDaisy (@DaisyLetourneur) November 26, 2022

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 27

24. McDonald’s

I was away this weekend.
When I get home, I ask my daughter what she ate while I was away.
“Pumpkins, carrots, celery, cauliflower, leeks, tomatoes, lettuce…” she said looking at her father.
It’s weird
— Louise. (@Adelouisephine) November 27, 2022

That’s it for today ! Have a nice week everyone and come back next Monday for an even better top tweet.

MONDAY NOVEMBER 21

1. No effort

2. “I would so much like to quit my job so I can focus on my true passion, which is sleeping”

3. We see people gifted in fractions

4. “If we organize Euro 2028, we should put his gay sex scenes in the opening ceremony and tell people who are not happy that they have to respect our culture”

5. The biggest discomfort of the year

7. 6 euros the normal cigarette

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 22

8. The classic

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 23

9. Floppy Gold

10. Imagine you go to the restaurant with Elon Musk he makes you pay your share

11. Of Course It Matters

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 24

12. Happy Thanksgiving !

13. Five, six, seven AND eight?

14. You have to flee at the first signs

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 25

15. They must really understand nothing

16. Want to go to the office by helicopter

19. It vomits in the scred sandwich

20. “I just learned that my father’s nice text messages telling me “You’re the best”, it’s actually one of the three automatic replies offered in his Toyota Rav4″

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 26

21. “My parents left their villages in Greece to give us a better life and all I want is to go and live in a village in Greece”

22. He’s a teacher of sentences to post in Insta description I think

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 27

24. McDonald’s

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