Top 30 tweets that made us laugh this week #467

Thiruvenkatam August 22, 2024 Lifestyle News

Hey guys, Christmas is coming and as no one likes to be at Fnac packed like sardines on December 23, we advise you to plan some original Christmas gifts a little in advance. You can also offer a reading of this top tweets to your loved ones but it’s sad (and a big stingy thing). With that, have a good laugh and plan ahead.

MONDAY NOVEMBER 28

1. The RATP prophecy

The year is 2054. The metro ticket is 600€. The Navigo Pass is reserved for citizens rated more than 8/10. Controllers shoot on sight. Line 15 opens “soon”.
— DOUG (@Doug_Harmoniak) November 28, 2022

2. Everyone thought of the peanut

A student asked me how to do it, I quote “the thing in the middle of M&M’s”.
I admit, it took me a few seconds to understand that he was talking about the ampersand.
“April’s daughter?” (@lafilledApril) November 28, 2022

3. “I just heard a guy walk into the bathroom and say, ‘Let’s go!’ while sitting on the throne.”

just overheard a guy walk into the bathroom and say “showtime” to himself as he sat down on the toilet
— fire fuck with me ???? (@bitchvibrations) November 28, 2022

4. She is very indignant

5. “When Zendaya and Tom Holland get married, he’ll take his last name and just become Tom”

when Zendaya and tom holland get married he’s gonna take her last name and become just Tom
— turandot (@godhelpthegrl) November 28, 2022

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 29

6. They don’t see the problem it’s crazy

I’m sorry but the fact that Americans call themselves DICK when they know what it means IN THEIR OWN LANGUAGE is beyond me ????????????
— mother goblin ? (@mangemanouille) November 29, 2022

7. Blurry image, funny joke

8. “serious situation My brain: Laughing”

9. Way too much hope

Tomorrow there are my parents (divorced for 15 years) who will spend the day together repainting my apartment, it’s almost December…
If that’s not the start of a Christmas movie, I don’t know what is.
— ??? ????? ? (@tatujesus) November 29, 2022

10. The graphic designers of the dealers go all out

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 30

11. It’s That or Best Life

I don’t want to open the spotify wrapped I don’t want to see click click pan pan in song number 1 I’m too scared
— orléna (@jsuisgemo) November 30, 2022

FRIDAY DECEMBER 2

12. Is he still a fan?

13. Rent the tickets

On the verge of spending my savings and buying €1,000 of metro tickets at €1.90 before the title goes up to €2.30
— Louis Witter (@LouisWitter) December 2, 2022

SATURDAY DECEMBER 3

14. WHO EATS ENDIVES??

15. “You too, the first story you tried to write as a kid was just a lame and plagiarized version of your favorite book? Or are you normal?”

was the first “novel” you attempted to write as a kid just a poorly plagiarized version of your favorite book at the time or are you normal
– July ? (@obIquidens) December 3, 2022

16. Dumb questions like this you can keep

– Excuse me, do you know where the rue de…
– You don’t have a phone?
If asshole my phone is at 100% battery but I said to myself “hey and if I improvise a little Beijing Express”
— Louisocele (@AmeEnSoie) December 3, 2022

17. Too hasty

I love electricity, in 20-30 days there will be no more
— Madame Nin (@TolergueNina) December 3, 2022

18. Punchline Validated

Wouldn’t you be a power outage baby because you don’t have light on all floors
— Lizzy Brynn ? (@lizzybrynn) December 3, 2022

19. Trees didn’t wear down jackets?

I passed Boulevard Haussmann this afternoon, it didn’t save much energy.
— Madame Corn (@MadameMais) December 3, 2022

20. We wonder what city she lives in

I see a guy in the laundromat, a book in his hand and staring into space I ask him “oh can you read with all this noise? » he rep me « no especially if you start talking to me » have a nice day
— la meuf là (@niemesia) December 3, 2022

21. Thank you Kinder for the surprise

3rd box of my advent calendar, I come across the body of my grandfather who died in 2016. I might as well tell you that it freaked me out
— Kevin “Erwan” Kiff (@erwanent) December 3, 2022

SUNDAY DECEMBER 4

22. Dream of a Lifetime

If I worked in a lab I’d take every tube and say “How’s the blood?”
— Louisocele (@AmeEnSoie) December 4, 2022

23. “Need vitamin C ash”

25. We want more!

And all of a sudden, the crowd, the noise, the shouting, everything was gone. It was just us, my legs around his waist and my gaze lost in his ocean eyes
— safia (@sxfia_tll) December 4, 2022

26. Coasting

I had lunch with my grandmother the gow is 76 years old she doesn’t care anymore she talks to me about her boyfriend saying to me oh you know he is boring sometimes but hey I don’t care about everything way I’m going to die soon you want some crumble come on take me I’m going to the bathroom
— charlie (@charliemedusa) December 4, 2022

27. “Why do all the guests on The White Lotus eat at the hotel every night? You guys are in Italy!”

Why does everyone at The White Lotus eat at the hotel every night? YOU’RE IN ITALY!!!!!
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) December 5, 2022

28. Let us fart in peace

I was queuing to buy a bus ticket and the guy behind me asks me IN FRONT OF EVERYONE if it’s me who just farted, from 1 we don’t ask that from a stranger and yes it’s me but it happens Don’t I find to ask it like that!!!
— ?Elian? (@bezigue_) December 4, 2022

29. What a beautiful story

Imagine Mathilde Panot and Thierry Solère have children and their names are Panot-Solère.
— Elliot Lepers (@ElliotLepers) December 4, 2022

30. Need Answers Please

Please what is the name of the netflix series where there is the girl, her name is Wednesday
— Pams0? (@Pams_o) December 4, 2022

31. Away from me this demon

“Very pretty doll” “we must pass it on quickly” “we prefer people without children or fragile people” “very urgent” there is nothing in this ad that inspires confidence pic.twitter.com/uK43dSfGxA
-? (@madamepretzel) December 4, 2022

Alright, well, there’s nothing more to see guys. Go buy your Christmas gifts and faster than that!