It’s shit, like really shit, since we’re going straight into the wall in ecological and energy terms, but very fortunately our good government is there to offer us intelligent and above all useful solutions to reduce our consumption and save the planet. So since we are all about to experience a particularly drastic winter during which we will have to tighten our belts, we have decided to remind you of the government’s advice which is not necessarily bad even if sometimes absurd, we I’m just allowed to add some advice that we wanted to give them so that it goes both ways.
1. Turn off the lights of the Eiffel Tower
It’s THE BIG decision of the French government to reduce the country’s energy bill: cut the lights of the Eiffel Tower two hours earlier, because in the end no one lives in it so there’s no need to leave everything on time.
The alternative that we propose to the government: Banning the private jets of ministers and billionaires, but obviously the Minister of Energy Transition Agnès Pannier-Runacher does not think it would be such a good idea since she does not want to get angry with the wrong people.
2. Turn off wifi at night
If you switch off your internet box before going to bed, you should quite logically make significant energy savings on the scale of your personal bill. But that’s just a bit of government bullshit.
The alternative that we propose to the government: Stop filling the coffersAir France with our money by giving them aid so that they can keep their empty flight slots during confinement, for example.
3. Use your appliances during off-peak hours (like 3 a.m.)
If you are lucky enough to have a washing machine or a dishwasher, then you should consider using these machines during off-peak hours between 2am and 5am. You can also decide to live totally at night, much less hassle on a daily basis.
The alternative that we propose to the government: Boycotting the World Cup in Qatar because it’s a beautiful climate aberration but once again the Minister for Energy Transition Agnès Pannier-Runacher does not think it would be such a good idea since she does not want to get angry with the wrong people, let alone a second time.
4. Do not heat your home (or rather choose well when to heat it)
Indeed heating the day when you are not at home is not super useful, any more than leaving the radiators running when you go on vacation. It is better to change old radiators by taking advantage of state aid from elsewhere.
The alternative that we propose to the government: Stopping organizing and endorsing Winter Olympics in places where there is no snow, for example, is quite a counterproductive concept.
5. Travel less often by car and prefer public transport
Or the bike, it’s also cool the bike. Of course it’s better to avoid taking the car for short journeys, even if you don’t want to, since it’s raining and it’s ugly in winter, but if everyone thinks like that we will continue to go straight into a huge wall that stinks of the mouth and that overlooks a ravine.
The alternative that we propose to the government: Stop slamming a lot of money anyhow by paying expense reports and fabulous salaries to ministers who have more pans in their ass than a kitchen store. Nah, because asking people to turn off the wifi and take the bus is nice, but we should be careful not to take us for hams by doing nothing in front of us.
6. Change your hobs to induction hobs
Yeah, because it consumes less, except it’s expensive to change your stove like that, but the government doesn’t care. As far as possible, of course it’s better to have that rather than another system.
The alternative that we propose to the government: Tax Total and the big companies who don’t give a damn about the excavations. Sure, on paper it makes more sense to tax a big bunch of big money than people struggling to pay their bills, but if the state won’t, there must be a reason.
7. Don’t cook your pasta like you used to
The advice does not come from the government but from an Italian Nobel laureate who has suggested a method of cooking pasta where you turn off the heat after plunging it into boiling water and leave the pan covered adding a minute to the cooking time. Not dumb.
Another alternative we offer: To add another piece of advice that has absolutely nothing to do with pasta, we also advise you to change banks to go to ethical and solidarity-based banks, that’s one more thing.
So yes, this advice is not necessarily bad, but if the only measure that comes from the government is to cut the lights of the Eiffel Tower, we are still in trouble. I advise you to go see Crevard’s tricks to save energy, if really, it’s shit at the end of the month.