« Gnagnagna season 4 of Stranger things came out and she’s so good, she’s freaking out, has an amazing script and she’s also introducing the world to artists from the 80s that nobody listened to before like Kate Bush”. Sorry for the free throw of salt, but it’s starting to hurt me to hear about this show all the time like it’s the best work ever. And the big problem with this series, in my humble opinion, that I’m throwing at you in the face, is that some of the characters would have done better to die a while ago, because if it’s to use them badly, as much to throw them.
1. Jim Hopper
Screenwriters who freak out a little too much about killing one of their characters, it gives a whole season where the character is useless. Because if the goal from the start was to put him in a prison where there are more clichés about Russia than prisoners and where the character seems to be just staring at the horizon and looking like a great guy damaged by life, it was better to kill him in season 3.
2. Joyce Byers
Concretely, if you are being completely honest with yourself, apart from opening your mouth when she is not speaking and constantly displaying a puzzled or shocked look on her face, what good is she Joyce? Because if Hopper wasn’t in jail in a Russian prison imagined by a scriptwriter more patriotic than an American flag, she wouldn’t be doing absolutely anything this season, are you well aware of that? Suddenly to die it would have been not bad, it would have brought a little drama.
3. Martin Brenner
We think he’s dead, he’s coming back, we think he’s dead, he’s coming back… He’s more of a character from Stranger Things it is the political career of Manuel Valls. FIND ANOTHER SCIENTIST DAMN even Matthew Modine doesn’t seem to understand where his character is going and the scenes in the lab reek of the rehash of previous seasons which were already a rehash of much better works like Akira I don’t manga Monster.
4. Jonathan Byers
If you want to get rid of a character you strip him of his motivation (e.g. a love interest), put him up somewhere away from the other characters (e.g. across the country) and arrange that at each time we see him we say to ourselves that he is useless (for example by showing him smoking joints and not doing anything useful to the scenario). No messing around, make Jonathan Byers die, even he doesn’t deserve that, especially since you rekindle the flame between his girlfriend and Steve.
5. Will Byers
Boarf, even if it means killing the Byers family, why not get rid of Will? Because apart from showing him painting without anyone seeing what he’s painting and giving him completely enigmatic lines about his “friendship” with Mike without him having any real role in the story, he doesn’t doesn’t do much. Once again, might as well make him caner, it will make a nice funeral scene.
6. Mike Wheeler
Okay he’s one of the main characters, okay he’s part of the hard core of the child heroes of this series but he’s as useful for the evolution of the story as I am for the proper functioning of the Swedish government. It does nothing, brings nothing, is useless and moreover it is boring. Kill him, at least it will give Eleven extra motivation to blow a big cable.
7. Le demogorgon
Why didn’t they just put that bitch to death? Because between the Flagelleur mental who, by the way, has the rottenest villain name since Skeletor, and Vecna, which is named after hemorrhoids ointment, he doesn’t seem so terrifying to the flower-headed villain anymore. Suddenly it was necessary to make him die and capitalize on the other bad guys, the proof, there’s only Hopper who crosses his path, namely a secondary character without motivation.
8. Barbara Holland
Nan I’m kidding, she was clearly stubborn without restraint, and I can tell you that she did not die a beautiful death. And suddenly even if it was not used for much we remember it because its death was remarkable, so they are able to do it these damned scriptwriters. Get your fingers out.