We often talk to you about the worst influencers on Instagram, but know that everyone participates in this culture of the perfect photo to post on the networks. Yes, yes, don’t believe we haven’t actually seen you! We know that you too want this beautiful dish captured in an “aesthetic” restaurant to show in story how much you are a person of taste. And because of this new obsession, quite a few cities around the world have transformed to meet the demand for visual tourism. It’s going too loooooooooooooooooooooooo good, leave these walls alone.
1. Fake flowers are everywhere
It’s the new fad of Parisian bars: to attract customers, the owners spend thousands of euros (truly) on fake flowers to pimp the outside of their business. And it works, since everyone thinks it’s pretty, takes a picture of it, barely looks at what’s on the menu, puts it on the networks and makes 150 people want to go too. Hey presto, check out the turnover which increases by 1000. Too clever, but frankly stop, we can’t take any more geraniums in plastic, we’re not in Ratatouille.
2. Museums are getting dumber
So yes, it’s good huh, to want to democratize museums a little and to make it less elitist, more accessible to people who don’t know much about culture. But don’t get carried away anyway. Because when we see candy museums, selfie museums and pop-up museums with rooms with different atmospheres, we have the right to say that the time of museums that taught us things is long gone. Because all these new museums are, let’s face it, there just for the nice picture. The museum of illusion, we’re talking to you.
3. There are those shitty “Yes, you’re beautiful” mirrors everywhere.
Let it be said, this mirror is no longer intended to give you a little self-confidence, just to have your picture taken in the street as you could do in the hall of your building in Dijon. Someone please pick them up, it’s too much for us. The last time I saw a story with these mirrors, I felt like severing all friendship with that person and burning my phone.
4. The restaurants all have the same Instagrammable decor
I feel like I’m 60 when I write these words, but today, it’s not enough to make good food to be a quality restaurant. You may make the best pasta in the world, but if your restaurant has decrepit walls and tiling that dates back to the 1950s, you will have little chance of filling up on cutlery every evening. That’s why a lot of restaurants have the same decor with bare light bulbs, comfortable armchairs with big cushions, vintage objects and a bar full of colored and perfectly aligned bottles. The same goes for the food: everything must look good, be served on stylish dishes and look good on photos, otherwise no one will put your kitchen in their story and you won’t have an hour and a half of waiting in front of your restaurant for pasta with cheese (but served in a cut wheel, be careful).
5. Now there are giant letters with the name of the city everywhere
No but #Cholet what! At what time did we become happy to show that we had a 15 hour connection in this city????
6. Everyone does the same activities
This is valid for the museums and restaurants that we mentioned above, but also for temporary exhibitions, art galleries, escape games, somewhat cute parks, street photo booths, thrift stores, courses light and everything that could be really nice if there were not 3 hours of queue because of people who come there dressed only for their next PP. Sorry, but I still have in my throat the 172,000 photos posted by all of Paris at Pop Air de la Villette. Enough is enough.
7. Many tourist places are damaged by Instagram
Rue Crémieux in Paris, Santorini Island in Greece, the Angkor Watt temple in Cambodia… All these places are threatened by Instagram, but above all by tourists looking for the perfect photo. Tourists who don’t mind shoving their old shit everywhere, being rude to the people who live in the area, creating 2 kilometer queues and destroying all the beautiful things in their path. But get me out of here, seriously!
8. There are scenic swings everywhere
Before, the swings were mainly located in places like phews in the middle of the rice fields of Indonesia (but it was already too much, we preferred when they were just in kindergarten). Now, we come across them on every street corner, in industrial areas, in Switzerland, Malta, Spain, in short, as soon as we pass 100 meters of altitude, with always at least fifty people who make line up to take the same shot as the people just before them. A nightmare.
But you’re not tired of fucking aesthetic stuff everywhere, in the end ???? We want spit, trash bags lying around, cinder blocks by the hundreds!