A Festive Survival Guide: Expert Tips for Navigating Holiday Etiquette
The festive season is often filled with joy—presents under the tree, an abundant Christmas dinner, and quality time with family and friends. Yet amid all the cheer, a variety of awkward or stressful moments can arise. To help you sidestep potential mishaps, here are some expert-endorsed etiquette tips for a more harmonious Christmas.
1. When You Receive a Gift You Don’t Like
One of the most common holiday dilemmas is figuring out how to respond to a gift that’s not quite your style.
To lie, or not to lie?
Etiquette specialist Rupert Wesson from coaching firm Debrett’s suggests tailoring your response based on your relationship with the giver. If it’s someone close, gently explain it may not suit you. For acquaintances or coworkers, a polite but positive reaction can keep things pleasant. Just remember: Avoid expressing outright displeasure. As etiquette coach Laura Windsor notes, “A little white lie is kinder than hurting someone’s feelings.”
Regifting or Donating
If you decide you simply won’t use a particular present, there is no harm in passing it along to charity or saving it as a regift for someone else who might appreciate it. Mr. Wesson also recommends including a gift receipt whenever possible, so the recipient can exchange items that might not be the perfect fit.
2. Managing the Christmas Budget
The holidays can be financially taxing, especially when it comes to hosting. Food prices fluctuate—turkey and Brussels sprouts might be cheaper this year, but other vegetables could cost more.
Sharing Costs
Ms. Windsor suggests starting a “Christmas pot,” where everyone contributes ahead of time to pay for the meal. Alternatively, consider asking each guest to bring a specific dish or item to share. Mr. Wesson agrees there’s nothing wrong with saying, “I’m hosting this year—would you be able to bring the dessert?” In today’s economy, pooling resources is often appreciated.
3. Keeping the Peace
Family gatherings can sometimes spark minor squabbles, especially if people are tired or have overindulged.
Steer Clear of Hot Topics
If tensions rise, Ms. Windsor recommends not taking things personally. Try to change the subject and keep the conversation light. Avoid controversial topics if you know they might cause friction.
Addressing Issues in Advance
Mr. Wesson advises tackling any known family disputes before they become a problem on Christmas Day. When inviting guests, clarify that everyone should strive for a pleasant atmosphere and refrain from any behavior that might derail the festivities.
4. Saying “Thank You” the Right Way
It’s crucial to express your gratitude to your holiday host, but it’s possible to go overboard.
Vary Your Expressions of Thanks
Instead of repeatedly saying “thank you,” Ms. Windsor recommends offering assistance with meal prep or cleanup, bringing a thoughtful gift (like a bottle of wine or a small plant), or simply complimenting the host’s cooking. Mr. Wesson asserts that expressing gratitude for the quality of the food is truly meaningful.
Post-Holiday Courtesy
For a truly gracious gesture, send a handwritten thank-you note or a sincere message after the gathering. Mr. Wesson refers to this as the quintessential form of gratitude.
5. Dietary Requirements
If you follow a specific diet—whether vegan, vegetarian, or gluten-free—communication is key.
Tell the Host in Advance
Ms. Windsor stresses it’s crucial to inform the host of any dietary requirements well before 25 December. Last-minute surprises can inconvenience everyone. Mr. Wesson agrees that hosts should check with guests in advance to properly plan the menu.
Handling Awkward Comments
If someone makes an unkind remark about your dietary restrictions, respond with empathy, but try not to escalate the situation. You can politely change the subject or reassure them it’s your personal choice.
6. Conquering Christmas Dinner
Long waits in the kitchen or a meal that doesn’t quite meet your expectations can spoil the holiday cheer.
Offer a Helping Hand
If you sense the host is struggling, kindly offer to help. By pitching in, you might discover there’s a chance to serve some easy appetizers to tide everyone over.
When You Don’t Love the Meal
If the main course isn’t to your liking, Ms. Windsor advises simply saying, “Yes, it’s wonderful,” if asked. Then, discreetly leave what you don’t want on the plate. Mr. Wesson recommends drawing as little attention to it as possible. Another strategy is to serve yourself modest portions in case you end up not enjoying a particular dish.
7. Late Cards and Presents
Not everyone manages to ship their holiday cards or gifts before the Christmas deadline. If that happens:
Better Late Than Never
Mr. Wesson says it’s understandable that life responsibilities—work, childcare, or schooling—can delay your mailing schedule. Send a polite message letting recipients know a card or gift is on its way. Sincere apologizes usually go a long way.
8. The Golden Rule: Prepare and Be Kind
Ultimately, a stress-free Christmas comes down to thoughtful planning and extending kindness toward others.
Plan Ahead
Mr. Wesson believes the key is to “expect the best but accept the possibility that things might not be perfect.” Small mishaps rarely ruin the entire holiday.
Treat Others Well
Ms. Windsor’s final piece of advice is simple: “Treat others as you’d like to be treated.” Most festive blunders can be avoided or swiftly resolved when everyone shares the spirit of generosity and goodwill.
Remember: A little foresight, open communication, and genuine politeness can transform any Christmas gathering into a warm and memorable celebration—even if some parts stray from your plan
